So once i had went to a aslyum for my cuts. I had met so many people had i saw past they cuts and burns they were beautiful with words and drawings and anything. But there was on that stood out the most. It was the first time ive ever seen someone with a huge deep slash on their throat. That person was always alone looking out the window like if he was waiting or just thinking. So i thought well let me see if i can talk to him. Everyone said he never talked so i thought well this is going to be difficult […]
I don’t know what else to do. College is killing me, cosmetology is killing me, the weight of the world on my shoulders is killing me. College is tearing my apart mentally and physically. I’ve skipped meals, had no sleep at night, lost someone special, missed out on quality family time, all because I have to study. I don’t have the time to do anything but study. That’s the only thing on my mind. I don’t know what else to do. I keep telling myself that I can do this, it’ll all be worth it at the end of the day, but guess what? I […]
Is it selfish to want the agony of what you feel everyday too stop
Is it selfish too want peace and rest in a world that has greedily taken everything you have ever wanted
We are not selfish we don’t want to leave our loved ones, but every day I see no end too the pain,the suffering,the hopelessness.
We are not selfish, we are the victims of the cancer people call life. And as the days go by I die both physically and emotionally. Until one day I know I will break.
I can’t do it. Every day that goes by the feelings get worse and worse. I’m trying so hard and then something happens and I need to start all over. I’m not happy. I want to be but I’m not. There’s so much going on in my life right now and I want it to go well but I constantly doubt myself. I feel trapped and alone and scared. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t even deny it anymore. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to just end it all. And these pills. They don’t help. I think I’ve Ben […]
My mom never loved me and she lets it be known, my sister molested me, and refuses to own up after so many years, were f”ing grown now I’ve tried to kill myself several times I thought u would be apart of my recovery “sister” after all these years of protecting u, please help me. Nope she won’t no body will, my dad told me he loved me twice in my 25 yrs of living, my younger brother tells me how disgusted he is of me because of my drinking and everything else about me, there is no sweet escape, all my friends have abandon […]
I don’t know why but everyday I go to school I get butterflies in my stomach.Its really starting to annoy me , does anyone know show to stop them.
…when everyone wants a Mountain.
Being a Foggy Mist, when everyone wants a Flood.
Becoming a Flood, when everyone wants Sunshine.
Becoming Sunshine, when everyone wants The Night.
Becoming The Night, when everyone wants The Dream.
Striving to become The Dream, but becoming The Reality.
Realizing The Reality is made of the act of flowing through the stream of striving to appease ever changing requirements…
To become The Mountain no River could ever Be.
Everyone wanted a Mountain to Climb, but all i could ever do was Be Water, and flow down, to ultimately be absorbed into, and washed away by, The River of Deceit… and to eventually be deposited into the Sea, […]
I think the root of the problem is that I haven’t got a reason to live.
Everybody else does, for everybody’s got that one special someone, special hobby, or special band. Sure, I listen to some bands and I have a few friends and hobbies, but it’s never enough.
Let me tell you something; being depressed, it’s obvious. There is a kid in my math class, and he often asked if I was depressed and suicidal and gave me hugs all of the time. Keep in mind that this kid is rather odd and dramatic. Most people just think him annoying, but I was fairly decent friends with […]
I want you to tell me a poem you wrote. I feel the poetry that people have made on this site is beautiful so let me hear your’s that you have made?
Last nite I was so upset, i was more than ready to kill myself. Instead of hurting myself, I decided to just wait another day. I went to sleep.
when I woke up, I was still upset, but I had calmed down. I just wanted to stay in bed all day but I couldnt, I had to go to work. I’m suicidal most days, but when it comes to work, Im too fucking responsible.
Right now I’m just as upset as yesterday, but I’m just going to sleep hoping that tomorrow is less annoying
I mean, I may have friends. Maybe people out there care for me, but I’m very overhelmed by sadness that I can’t see it, or believe it. Still, being with my “friends” is nothing, I feel alone with them, I feel alone without them… I’m such a mess. I don’t deserve these people. Some care on their own different way, but I can’t see it. I sound like an attention seeker don’t I? I’m not. Seriously.
Still, every single person I have met has hurt me in one way or another. Maybe I’m too sensible. I don’t know. I’m a goddamn disaster. I feel worthless. […]
Why the FUCK can’t my ex leave me alone? I check my cell after work to see if my mom called, and saw a voicemail. Naturally I thought it was my mom, calling to tell me that she was already there, waiting to pick me up. Nope. It was fucking Alex. This time he kept how he loved me, and he’s sorry for leaving me when I was ready to kill myself that night, and how he’s sorry for calling me a ***** ass ****. Then he started saying he loved me, and how it’s hard for him, and how he thought he should apologize […]
People don’t care until you’re dead. I think we all know that now. I wish it wasn’t true. i wish there was some sort of way to show people how much they’re hurting me. I wanna hurt them back by leaving. By doing this act of killing myself. To show them how much shit they made me go through. I hope they cry. It must be very morbid for me to say all this but that’s how I feel. How can I help it?
It’s almost been a year since I’ve been using this site. I’ve gotten worse over the year. I’ve tried twice so far. I dont want help that’s the worst thing i guess.
Here I go again. I’m so done with this shit you know. How much can someone take? When do you say enough? When can you tell someone they’re the reason you wanna leave this world?
I began having severe depression at 12 years old due to achieving an erection everytime I stood up. That lasted for 8 years til I was 20. Depression worsened after 2 years and when I was 14 I started having suicidal thoughts but I kept them to myself. Â I had so many suicidal thoughts over the next decade, it has to total in the 100,000s. Â I dropped out of high school due to having no energy to continue.
I went to college many years later. I had constant suicidal thoughts, every building I saw I saw myself jumping off of. Sometimes with myself set on fire. […]
I feel betrayed and alone. I had a very close relationship (or so I thought) with my Higher Power. But, so much is wrong right now that is totally out of my control – my body is falling apart, all my friends are either gone or more than 1 days drive away, and I am so fucking tired and cold all of the time. I can’t remember a time since my ritual abuse (when I was a child) that I’ve felt this horrible. I used to say I had a problem with depression, but I didn’t. That was not depression. THIS is.
I have done everything […]
She sings a song from the start,
Lalala comes from the heart.
The pain and sorrow will not leave,
and she will not be able to believe.
She sits alone under a tree,
where no one can hear her misbelieve.
She hopes there is a reason for all,
as she slowly begins to fall.
As she falls the end will start,
Lalala leaves from the heart.
I’m here, they’re here.
Where am I?
Invisible, alone.
Not heard, not seen, I don’t excist.
Quiet, all by myself.
Useless, can’t be heard.
Sad, angry, unimportant.
That’s what I am.
Lonely, can’t breathe.
Alone, without help.
Lost, never to be found.
In a place that never excisted.