It’s as if there’s a part of me that rejects happiness.
I love her more than anything.
Suicide Note
Before reading this, I need you to promise to God that you won’t blame yourselves. It’s not your fault. If you can’t accept this, you may not read any further.
I love you all. And I know that I’m loved. I know you did your best. Thank you for that. But just go on about your daily lives. Please. Take care of your other kids. Take care of your spouses. And, most importantly, take care of yourselves.
I’m just so tired. I don’t know how I even made it this far, honestly. So count that as a blessing. I wrote this note so that I could […]
So i’m seeing my GP tomorrow and will ask his opinion on it too.. but i was curious if anyone has felt this before.I’m taking Saroquel for sleep and to calm my anxiety. I started out with one a night and then they upped me to two and now three (75mg). It knocks me out like no other.. but then i only sleep for 2-5 hours, then i wake up. I’m wide awake for an hour or so and then get really sleepy again. I can’t sleep in at all, ever now and i’m always so exhausted. It’s almost like all i do is take […]
This is pretty tough. So what if I get through the day. and tomorrow. I’m 24 years old and when I’m homeless eventually I will probably have no choice. I’m gonna be the one living with my parents until they kick me out or pass. Then I can pass too. How do we escape this nexus. I know how but I still cant do it. Been a warrior for a while, IDK how much longer I can live, maybe couple weeks.
There’s been times in my life when change rattled me so bad, that I stayed up at night pondering the endless outcomes that could take place.
Then the flip side was seeking change so I could continue on without going mad.
Looking back, I don’t enjoy the contridictions that have taken place…..and honestly, neither change or no change sounds good right now.
Perfect time to go
I have 480 pills (24,000 MG of diphenhydramine HCL) should be enough to kill someone who is over 100 pounds.I’m only 85-88 pounds so this might actually work.My birthday is on Wednesday I’m 14 right now.I’m not sure what I want anymore sometimes I really want to die,but other times I’m not sure.I feel so lonely right now and I don’t really have any plans for the future either.No one really talks to me.I had this counselor I met once a week but since my ‘medicaid’ got cancelled I can’t talk to her and no one else seems to care.My grades kinda suck and I have no […]
i was on a bridge earlier just looking down, i hadnt even decided whether i wanted to jump or not. im an alcoholic and was in a serious state as i suffer from anxiety and depression. as i was looking down, crying, someone who i had never even seen before drove past and shouted out there car to me, they told me to jump. i really didnt know what to do after that. i eventually managed to get home but all i have done since is drink, and im scared
I wanna cut my wrist so fucking back right now but I have this job thing on the third & I dont want people seeing them.I really dont want to cut on my thies or anywhere else.Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I have a pencil sharpener!!
Razors&drugs cause a n+«»a fucking depressed
now i know he’s a terrible person, or has a severe mental illness. i can’t decide. and i can’t decide which one is worse. he doesn’t care that he is preventing my from graduating. he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care about how terrible he is. I’m selfish? yeah i guess. does he not see how effing selfish he is?! and cruel?! omg. i explained everything in plain english, and nothing. he just keeps saying he hates me and he’s canceling his phone. HE HATES ME?! I HATE ME! I HATE ME BECAUSE IM NOT WORTH DIRT TO HIM. there is no getting through to him […]
I feel like most people notice depression signs  but rather adopt the role of the spectator instead of intervening. Why are there so many out there claiming one can and must get through stuff alone? Why is death considered a weak choice? Why do we shame ourselves when there’s nothing shameful about feeling depressed, lonely and suicidal.
As I get fully recovered, I’m trying my best to put myself out there in social environments and whenever this kind of subject gets on the table, people bash and deny help to those who are desperately asking for it.
How many of you had your parents, a friend or […]
Life is so unfair. Life is always giving me hard time even though i can handle it, but i’ m getting weaker, slowly i’m givingup. Each morning, I always tell to myself, why i am still alive. Is God still loves me?.. Why I’m still waking up every morning and still breathing?.. What will I do? I cant kill myself because i dont want to hurt my love ones especially that i have my first boyfriend. i dont want him to be like lea michele because of cory monteith. i want to be happy. i want to feel that i am loved by the people […]
far out.
the world is an incredible place.
how funny that we can value something like life so much when its so temporary.
i value my life with everything.
i value the history and the future, and the morning and the night, the water and the sun and snow, and the food and the sounds; i value everything that will inevitably end. if your in a relationship and you find out that it will come to a tragic end, you’d get the fuck out, save yourself the heartache right? but thats everything. every person you love you’ll loose; there all just temporary components of the illusion that is your […]
Well at home I’m alone but not reminded that I will be alone forever but at school it’s a cruel reminder that I’m alone and a complete loser as much as I want to say Im not a loser it’s the sad painful truth that I am alone and always will be I want to say things will get better for me but everytime I try to sound or even be hopeful the cruel life of mine ruins it I don’t know why I bother I’m sure anyone who reads this is thinking “Ha what a sorry excuse for a human” I know I am […]
I suffer from depression… I am allways lonely… I have no reason to feel the way I do but I can’t help it…. I have one friend that I can call a true friend, the rest of the people in my life don’t know me but they call me their friend… They don’t know how I constantly feel… When I wake up I think about ways I would like to die…
When I’m working sometimes I think about ways I could die at work in a “freak accident” I’m hooked on drugs and have become an alcoholic I’m just barely making it by in life just […]
So, I’ve been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I was pretty sure I was suffering from this most of my life, just never bothered to get it checked. Why did I finally get it checked out? Out of love, but I don’t want to think about that…
75 apneas an hour. 30 is the threshold for severe apnea, so I have like super duper severe apnea. The doctor was surprised when he first saw me. He only sees that severe of apnea in the very obese, and I’m in no way a big guy.
Turns out I have abnormally large tonsils, so I’m probably going to have […]
been extremely depressed lately.. feels pretty bad if anyone wants to talk just message me
I just found out that my ex got married.I’d be lying If I said I’m over her.I’m happy for her tho.I wish her and her husband the best.I just wish I could talk to him to tell him to not fight back cause that Is a fight you will never win haha.their married now,ofcourse he know’s not to haha.I’m just depressed on how things turned out.I should be the one getting married!!haha.I’m the nicest bf she has ever had!!Every other bf she’s had Is bad!!Like her husband has a tattoo on his face.If your gonna get a tattoo on your face then get tear drops […]
All of this is so triggering, I try to ignore the temptation to make my wrists raw. That’s all on me, though, I should just avoid reading some of the stuff on here I guess…
Since you’re reading this…
Tell me some ways you make yourself feel better (even if it only makes you feel slightly better..) Trust me… I’ll need it
~E