I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.

I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate […]

Are you there God? It’s me, Fox (Reality)

Please let my soul go free.

I am suffering very badly.

Please.

Yours Sincerely,

Fox

Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]

I’m beginning to feel better, whether it be my drugs finally working the sudden nice weather we’re having.. i am feeling better. I’m not thinking about hurting myself as much.. but i do still have these thoughts.  I’m cutting a lot again and i keep thinking of wanting to take all my pills. I finally got my pills back from my aunt who was keeping them from me. Ughhh

But after everything.. i feel guilty or bad feeling good. Like i’m letting the depression down? If that makes sense!?

I start most weekends with drinking a bottle of wine, then I have another one and then another. I take a few Xanax and a Vicodin or two. Next thing I know its Monday morning and time to go to work again. When I don’t do that I do meth so I can forget about my life. Yet every Monday I get cleaned up and go back to my job that pays me 300k a year. Three of my friends have killed themselves. I have tried at least twice. Now days I rather dull things with liquor and Xanax or meth. So I can get up […]

 Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports, but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty. The relation is roughly that of courage to war.The human beauty we’re talking about here is beauty of a particular type; it might be called kinetic beauty. Its power and appeal are universal. It has nothing to do with sex or cultural norms. What it seems to have to do with, really, is human beings’ reconciliation with the fact of having a body

There’s a great deal that’s bad about having a body. If this is not so obviously true that no one needs examples, […]

But I don’t want to be like them

First of all I don’t want my mess to visible

I don’t want to be a visible mess,Yeah at the time it feels good but when your up there crying like that people think your really fucked up(unless you have something to show,and I don’t) and I party but not like that I party by myself,I love those girls there so pretty and there just like me

Around last year, 7th grade, I started feeling depressed for no reason. I was crying every day and getting suicidal thoughts. My mother got me tested and we found out I have depression. I have switched medicines I think 3 times now. Lately I have stopped taking my medicine and I have been feeling better, but tonight I fell asleep or something and woke up with my internet pulled up with “can I overdose on celexa” in the search bar. I started crying. I still haven’t stopped. I thought about it and I’m actually thinking about what it would be like if I did kill […]

I don’t really understand the point of this site. I am not being shitty or anything like that….just wondering how all of this works?? I NEED help in finding some easy way of getting “the job” done without ANY chance of survival and in hopes of finding answers since I posted early yesterday I only had 2 comments and they were to help me as in “I am here for you” and that type of thing.  Thanks, but no thanks….I just am going crazy here wracking my brain and nobody understands that I WANT an END/ just an END that is all!!!! Why do I […]

I’ve been searching all over google (I know that’s amateurish) but no matter how I try, I can’t find any. Can you guys help me out? And please for the love of god please do not preach to me, I’ve heard it all before. So yeah, any recommendations?

Exactly that. What does death mean to you? Some people are terrified of it, others happily embrace the idea. What do you think – is there such thing as an “afterlife?”

When they say silence is golden,
you know it’s true,
when you experience her,
yelling at you.

You want to cry,
you hold back tears,
everything you lost,
is so near.

You look her in the eye,
and take it like a man,
even when you’ve had enough,
when it’s all you can stand.

She doesn’t care,
she keeps yelling.
Maybe becomes physical,
she says don’t go telling.

You keep your mouth shut,
you wipe away your tears,
you put on a fake smile,
for your sanity my dear.

Once your awake,
you fear the day,
you want to go back to sleep,
and make your pain wash away.

When she […]

My mother was only 16 when she had me, she lived in England, in a place called Bath. She was walking home one day and was raped, she then got pregnant with my sister Fable and me. She moved to America, Killeen, Texas. My mom then was addicted to drugs. She raised us till we were 2, she then gave up us for adoption. My now mother adopted us when we were 4. She was abusive and she moved around so much. By the time we were 7, we had already lived in  all the states except Alaska and Hawaii. My sister had been in […]

So I guess I’m staying alive… For her. I told her about it and she started freaking out (which is normal) and made me promise I wouldn’t kill myself. What made me agree though, was that she started crying when she realized, if I did kill myself after the next band concert, we would have less than 10 days. And she doesn’t cry in front of people so that was a big gigantic sign that she cares. So I’m stayin’ alive

despair welcomes me as soon as i wake. one day, i will not wake.

Im new here .. and I need help , I have issues with my dad. He doesnt seem to care at all . My family thinks that he is a good dad, but they just dont see how he really is with me . Hes a dad i probably consider as a father. I havnt been able to focus on school because of this.Im doing horrible, but i am trying my best to make my dad happy , but i always fail, he thinks im perfect .Im not. Is anybody else going through the same thing ? with a broken family ?

I’ve started watching anime lately. It’s really captured my mind and makes me zone out. I love it, the Japanese have a way of writing stories in a way you are bound to feel connected too it. The problem however is that my life looks bland and boring now..

I wish I was part of some show. The daily drag of living feels like I’m being tied up to a car and towed face down. I can’t even make myself content with desolving in daily routines anymore.

I’M SICK OF THIS SHIT!

Who is too?

She doesn’t care…

So recently I flunked out of engineering school. I feel lost now like what the hell am I suppose to do now. I’ve invested so much time into school for it to end like this. I can’t even form the words to tell my parents that I’m back a square one to find a new major. This is all I had it was my biggest accomplishment now I have nothin. I have no gf and barely any friends. I’m at mediocre college. What the point of living right now when it seem like everything is going to shit right now. I feel like I brought […]