My pains are revengable but when I see other people (which are poor,silly …)I just want to cry and escape from this world.

i am over 50 years old and depressed i am out of work broke sleeping on a pile of sponges in my mothers covered driveway i’ve never married have no kids, i have no money and i really just can’t continue living like this. most things i read online suggest getting medical attention immediately, however having zero funds makes this an impossibility. is it reasonable the solution to my situation be to end my life?

I have finally realized that pain and suffering are human emotions along with hate envy greed lust depression lots of fealings that can drag a person down and everyone searches for love and happyness but in the corrupt world we live in that’s all it is a search dose anyone find the real thing anymore in life the thing for me is what is love my mom told me she loved me once but her actions were to loud to here what she said she gave me to the state and abandoned me with nothing is that love now I’m older I’ve tried to move […]

It started when I was really young. I started writing suicide letters to my mother at the age of 5.  Around age 7, I wasn’t very smart and I attempted to choke myself with my own hands not knowing it wouldn’t work. Around age 11, I took sleeping pills and then took a bath lying on my stomach, hoping I would drown as I slept. Since then I haven’t attempted suicide but I have frequently thought about it. I started cutting myself last year. I never ever cut deep because it scared me but I enjoyed the pain. I started cutting because I truly hated […]

1. So recently a girl who I saw at school for five months was killed… We hadn’t spoken in eight months…. I don’t know what to do. She was so bright and when ever I was around her I felt like it was okay to be myself because she was so accepting of me. Unlike other people in my past. But now she’s gone and I don’t know what to do. She was so beautiful and so amazing. I miss her so much and all I can say is heaven gained a beautiful angel that will be missed dearly.

2. I FREAKING RELAPSED! I hate […]

I hate tonight. All i want to do is swallow all the pills. I’m upset and i feel so out of control when i’m upset. =(

I’m so tired of this nonsense. I can’t stop this school from wearing me down. I’m not even a full teacher in this place. I have to get out of here.

I’m exhausted. But life is far more difficult than this for so many other people. I can’t stand the simple problems of my life because I am not well.

I am watching avideo about the famine in Malawi in the last decade. The emaciated, the sun-baked, the hopeless…

People let the prices of seed and fertilizer go sky high, and the farmers couldn’t grow anything.

I’d have died as a child there.

Perhaps, that is best. People like me […]

when you have nothing and no one?  Only this shamble of a life that you abhor?  And after a while, you start hating yourself too because you couldn’t make your life work, no matter what you try.  And eventually you give up trying.

It’s been 18 years.
I’m 18 year old female, a senior in highschool. I’m good looking, creative, intelligent and easy to get along with. But within me lies an everlasting, deep internal conflict, loneliness, and a very broken heart. I have no family, no friends and I just recently lost my lover. I have been framed and spent a year on probation for it, my parents have taken me to court several times (they’re so insensitive they treat family matters like business), I’ve never had somebody I could call up and talk to. I’ve had friends several times before. But all of them, usually in […]

She’s so alone in the dark…abhorring herself more and more as nights go by.

Falling…

Falling…

Ever so deep into despair. The rest of the world look on from the top of her hole and cast laughs and hate..and pity.

Just close your eyes and sleep, young one, for you’ve held on quite long enough

“I’m tempted to leave the car in drive, and leave it all behind.”

No more medication. I refuse to take another freaking pill. I am NOT going to take another pill. I’m so sick and tired of having to take medication everyday. Taking that pill is like pretending to be somebody I’m not, it makes me act happy and as if everything is okay. News flash, I’m not happy and nothing is okay. If I don’t want to be happy then get over it and let me just be miserable. If I’m going to be happy it’s not going to be because of some pill. It’s […]

So, I’m really starting to think that I am insane, I swear I keep hearing people when I’m alone…

Shoulder busted, in a sling, makes me want to freaking scream.

I love all kinds of music. However there’s few songs that grab hold and this is one. I could die listening to this.  (Not that I am, just saying)

The *** *** Dolls – Name

So what would your last song be?

I used to smile all the time. I never cared what anyone said about me. Then they started getting meaner meaner. They hit me and called me things like “slut” and “*****”. My own friends had turned on me. Like they didn’t even care about me anymore. I thought for a long time. Then I started cutting. I never thought I would be one of the people who started doing this. I actually felt really good. The bullying just got worse. I got so tried with it. I decided I wasn’t good enough because that’s what they told me. I got a bottle of pills […]

I don’t know how to be the way I used to be. Happy, caring, and ignorant. I have such a hard time when I get sad. I’m not depressed, I don’t think so. I’m happy, or at least semi-happy at times. I’m not a person that is miserable all the time. But when I do get upset I hit rock bottom. I lock myself up and cry and scrape my fists on brick walls.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what the hell happened. It’s as if someone snapped their fingers and I turned into someone started to disprove of, […]

I wish I could redo (or undo) my entire life.  Like guhhhhhh’s post above, I have tried to reinvent myself, tried several completely different jobs, moved countless times, met tons of new people,  and yet somehow the cloud of darkness and pain follows me wherever I go.  So I guess it’s just me then.  I suppose I am the problem.  Perhaps as long as I exist, I shall always be in misery… :/

So I haven’t been here on SP for 1,5 month I guess. It’s because I’m doing really bad. In that time I quitted school, had an intake with 2 mental health institutions, going to start therapy next week, got a cat (it’s really a sweetheart and I’m so glad my parents agreed with a pet), and yeah, the only thing I do is sleeping and sitting. Not going outside anymore, see nobody. Actually I have no life anymore. And the thing is: I don’t give a f*cking shit, I don’t care.

Last week, I grabbed my knife and started to cut, made a cut on […]

IMO, suicidal people are stuck between Life & Death as the result of a conflict: Intellect vs Emotions

on a purely rational level, we realize human life is meaningless, especially from a cosmic perspective

whether humans are or not, the Universal Mind will continue to create .. when man has disappeared, I really doubt It’ll pause to think: “wow I really miss mankind :'( Let me recreate man to fill this void I’m feeling”

unfortunately, our emotions get in the way .. thanks to social conditioning

social conditioning says: every life has a purpose ; it will get better ; you wouldn’t appreciate life if it only had ups […]