So i’ll go for a drive to find actual hemlock, not this stupid Queen anne’s lace that tricked me.

Sometimes when I reminisce about the past I tend to not include bad memories….but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember them..growing up I had a very dysfunctional family and I’ll admit some of the things I did were deserving of punishment but sometimes you go too far …

I remember in 9th grade….me and my cousin got busted for report card fraud….yup, we were cunning little bastards. You see we came up with a scheme …a very….good scheme….we would copy the report card right? so you have 2 copies…take some scotch tape and scissors and cut out any “A’s” or “B’s” and then cover the bad grades […]

Head tilted down, knees on the ground,

I will ask,

Please,

Save

Me

My first suicidal thoughts started when I was 8 years old. my first suicide attempt was at 9. I have been diagnosed with mixed receptive expressive language disorder and non verbal disability disability, which almost makes me socially disabled, not to be confused with mentally disabled. I have been severely bullied my whole entire life, even to this day at 20 years old. When I was 14, my father passed away of copd, and my sister two days later of an accidental  drug overdose. I also had 2 cats and 1 dog pass away that year. I was numb the whole entire time. 5 years […]

PSYOP’ZX

JUST DONT KNOW Y IAM HERE IF IAM THE PURPOSE > NOT SURE Y THIS DONT END BECUS IM SICK OF BEING A CONTARD TO EVERAE AND NOAE…………

its like no one understands what I’m going through. Or how hard it is on me when my dad comes home drunk and with a new girl pretty much every week. The world as we THINK we know it, actually might understand, they just don’t want to.I don’t know why I keep cutting or attempting suicide, I know that I can stop..it’s just that I don’t want to. In reality, when people die of suicide, they don’t want to end their lives, they only want the pain to end.

I had a good job.    Was out on disability. Never thought I would be in this position again. I have to find work after 2 years off and confidence shaken.  I think about suicide all the time . My family except for parents have disowned me, my best friend of 25 years turned her back on me.  everyone I thought was a friend wasnt. They all left haven’t talked to anyone in 2 years.  I have nobody but my cats.  My family would put them to sleep if I died. I couldn’t do that to them or my parents.  Oh the thought of getting […]

I feel sad, empty, alone.

I am scared, exhausted, hurt.

I wanna scream, cut, cry.

Can I please just die.

I’m just so tired of suffering. The emotional pain sucks beyond belief and the tears never seem to subside. I’m the same age my father was he took his own life; it was devastating to me as a thirteen-year-old child.

And now I grapple with my emotional pain, wishing I could end it all, but not wanting to inflict the same distress, misunderstanding of love, and rejection onto my own son that my father’s suicide encompassed me with.

Fuck. Nothing is easy. I can’t even check out smoothly or with ease. Just sucks.

Do you remember that feeling that everything is finally better? That you feel you have finally out ran the blade and all the pain? Tell me if you remember the day that you woke up and found that it was all a dream, that you never outran the blade or the pain or the scars? That’s how I’m feeling right now. I feel how all of my problems have been piled up so high that I can’t see anymore, that the weight is just too much. It feels like I can’t breath anymore, like my world is just crashing down all around me. I love […]

I wanted to finish my FAFSA application to get financial aid for college, but of course my mother comes and nags at me for wanting to do it at the last minute, when I clearly told her around Christmas time if she could help, but she says she doesn’t feel like looking for her files. My dad starts yelling at me because they don’t think I can apply to any college I want. She calls me stupid and tells me stupid “You’re a fucking stupid like your daughter.” Then she goes on about how she doesn’t trust me with her information or anything. Or how […]

Tried it all: talking, counseling, therapy, asked my doctor what meds would work best since many could practically cripple me (he still hasn’t gotten back to me). No matter what I do, I see everything and everyone as less than perfect and therefore a burden to the universe and everything in it.

…I think too much. New lesson, kiddies: don’t think. It’ll do things to you.

Anyways yeah. Would a 20ft drop head-first be enough to kill me?

I want to commit suicide a thousand times over. I want this world to know how much it has failed me. With every selfish prick who inflicts misery on others, the world has failed me. With every good intention that humans kill, I want to kill myself. With every bear in every bile farm in China, with every child who is raped everywhere in the world, with every cow in every slaughterhouse who ends up in some fat fuck’s Big Mac, with every injustice that humans not only perpetuate, they relish, I wish I could kill myself again and again and again, leaving an ugly […]

I used to be a ravenous writer. Lyrics, music, poetry, useless dribble – I write when I allow my feelings to flow. But not anymore.

I now bottle up my feelings and hide them away. Does anyone know how terrible a poison that is? It makes you sick. Physically, mentally and in ways no one can predict. It’s the fastest way to enable your psyche to kill your body. I know – I am living proof of this. I’m not saying I can change that; I have tried so hard to become healthy again but I am powerless to do so.

There was a person that triggered […]

I am new to suicide project, but I just wanted to wish all of you a good new year’s eve. I hope 2013 wasn’t to much of a pain for all of you, and if so I hope 2014 treats you better. Whether you are celebrating this holiday alone or with some friends/family i hope you’ll  enjoy yourself. Happy 2014…

The new year has been hard on me… I lost my girlfriend I picked up right here on this exact website… She left me after finally realising what kind of a horrible man I am..
After the year of happyness I lived, I realised that maybe there simply is no way out for me. I hate myself for ruining my chances on happyness, I hate myself for what I’ve done to the people around me.
I have friends, but I don’t know if I can trust them with this information without losing them.
I’ve always been an outsider, I listen to the kind of music […]

i cannot believe who i have become from the day i registered on here, to now. so much has changed. good and bad.
well, lemme point out big events that have happened to me since i last posted.

-when i was 15 i found out i was pregnant.
-the father to be was a DICK.
-he abused me
-unfortunately i lost the baby due to a miscarriage :c

-ive ran away for two days..stupidly came home
-ive been grounded since
[…]

Jan 31 2011 was the last time I was truly happy. I had picked up my date right after work, took her to one of my favorite spots and then to a party with friends and a good time was had by all. Soon after that my mom was killed via malpractice at a hospital. She was fine one minute and then a few hours late she died from horrible side effects of a misused drug. I kept it together for about three months trying to sue the hospital but then my family started to steal the inheritance we were supposed to share. My own […]

Yukio Mishima

Enjoy! 🙂

Seriously. We are each a waste of space, food, fuel, and other resources. No one has any worth or value. One person cannot possibly make a difference in this overpopulated world.  Even if someone could, that person is not you, me, or anyone else who is suicidal. Or is it?

Those who are suicidal have come to the bluntly obvious yet highly uncommon knowledge that life is not worth living. Suicidal people want to stop pain, which means dying. Death stops all pain, no matter how temporary or permanent. Therefore, suicidal people want to die. And when they do, family and friends suddenly become depressed because […]