Sleeping is the things i love the most,hours passes like thunder and the feeling is so peacefull,even if i have nighmares,which i normally have,but its like travelling to a new strange spot where you never know which dream is going to appear. THe worst part is when you wake out,the peacae dissapears instantly,my mouth is full of shit saliva,and my anxiety breaks into my body again mainly im the mournings.i pass from been in a paradise beach full of white sand and strange beautifull creatures.to damn boredom reality.
‘and if that liar is truly a liar, how can he claim that he is a liar?’, a liar was talking to his friend, and the friend said, ‘it shows that he is a true liar’; and the liar was free from whatever subconscious lie was still lingering to him.
Suicide can be physical or mental
I am intelligent enough to commit mental suicide and I did it.
Does it important to kill physical body ?
“How would you?”
I would lie down on my bed, the bottle of antidepressants resting solemnly in my palm. I would reflect on every decision I made in my life, as far as I could remember. I would reflect on all of my mistakes; all of my fatal flaws. I would literally watch my entire life flash before my eyes.
“Sparks” by Coldplay would softly play through my speakers, creating a background noise. Otherwise, dead silence. I would leave notes, one to each of my friends. One to each of those who helped me. One to those I loved.
I would take one pill; one small pill and swish it […]
I recently stumbled upon this site , and I find it both a miracle for myself and the rest of the participants to be able I have a place where they can express their sentiments and feel like they are being heard . Although I can not honestly say that I am suicidal I can except that thoughts of death and things of that nature do cross my mind from point to point . My main interest is those deeper in that thought process . I am very empathetic and I always feel the need to help others . I know how it feels to […]
I’m hurting so bad. I don’t know how to express this pain so I mostly keep it to myself. I bury myself in extracurriculars and school work to keep from having to make plans with my friends. I break down in private a lot. I hint to my mom that I need help. I think she knows that I need help, but I also think that she is just too embarrassed to take me somewhere to get help. I constantly blame this feeling on missing this guy, but deep down I know that it’s more than just that. I’ve tried turning to God for help […]
I wish I didn’t care what everybody thought of me I wished people loved me more
I was in love with you! I’m still in love with you. I can’t get over you. And I lost all of your words. I kept them, because they were the one piece of you that I still had. But I lost them! You know, when I found out, I got so close, but my family was home and I couldn’t do it. They were home, they would have found me before I died. And now everything from you is gone. I love you, but you’re gone. Even your words, which made me forget about all of my shit, are gone now. Please, can’t you […]
Anyone ever get tired of helping everyone else and no one is around when you need help? It’s like HELLO! I’m here too. I have problems too. Even when people know you have depression issues, they still only talk to you when they have issues. That’s F**ked up. Excuse me, but it is. That’s how my friend killed herself. She helped everyone else, except herself. Are people that damn selfish. Oh help me. Help me, but don’t need me for anything? How’s about leave me the hell alone! If you can’t take the time to help me and listen to me rant, then buzz off. […]
I do not even care anymore. I is not carin about grammar right now. I remember I was at school about a month ago wen my sis and her friend came up to me and said rude things about me and my boy friend. I was sad. I ran home and cryed. my boyfriend was sad too. he tried to comfort me but he don’t know how much I hurt on the inside. of course I aint got no guts for suicide but it still hurts. I am in pain. there Is not light when yu have depression. and don’t you get sick of people […]
I feel like a failure. This all happened on Christmas day… My mom got mad because my dad invited his family relatives over… (He`s my step dad, but I consider him my dad because he takes care of me) so after we opened presents from them, my mom comes out of the room and starts yelling in front of all of them.. then she looks at me and says “Why would you accept gifts from people who don`t even like you? How STUPID are you?!” then my dad starts yelling at her. So then she says she is gonna leave, so when they were at […]
By next Monday afternoon the basic elements of my plan will be complete and I’m scared that I’ll do it on NY Day. I really need to go to a psych hospital but due to financial and insurance issues among other things the earliest I could go to one would be Mon 2/3 – I wouldn’t go on a weekend – no doctors. And finding someone to take me will be difficult. I don’t want to drive because my car would be stuck at the hospital and I sure ain’t calling 911 and being hauled out in handcuffs by the cops. I just don’t know […]
numbness is all ill ever feel I use to crave being numb because of all the pain and voices but now being numb for this long is just making everything worse
Is it worth it? I am the odd one out of my family. Being diagnosed with MDD gave me a whole new look. I started getting bullied when I was in First grade because I was over weight. I thought nothing of it because I was young. A couple years ago I ended up cutting myself for the first time and I thought it would look cool, but it actually took all of my pain away (so I thought). Nobody in my family has ever suffered from any Depression disorder so it was very rare for me to suffer from it. I get bullied […]
What is the least painful way to kill urSelf? Beside. A gun. Or if a gun is the easiest way how do I get ahold of one?? I want to die. I don’t understand why people are scared of dying. It’s like sleeping. I just wanna sleep forever . I hate waking up
It’s Christmas. It’s times like these that remind me how much I’ve changed. I used to be so gentle and soft-hearted and joyful. Christmas was my favorite. The magic of it all used to mesmerize me. Now, I’m cold and hard-hearted and cynical. Magic doesn’t exist, and life is mostly illusion. I see behind the curtain now, and I hate it. I want that child-like wonder back. I want to look at the sky and be amazed at the shade of blue instead of knowing that it’s just a reflection, just a light trick. I want to marvel at the beautiful flakes of snow and forget the cold, […]
Year 2073,goverments just ruined the earth out,power and money where demons, everybody knew but everybody wanted and this is what those fucking stupid pieces of paper have done.The people are in war with the goverment which is surrounded by some military and pólice forces.Money still have value,but just a tiny mayority has it,i havent seen a damn dollar in some months.Now the people of the sun as i call them,the normal,good people are organized in small guerillas of about 30 people.We may not have money but we have something better,we are still humans,we care of each other while those bitches in the top dont have […]
You say you can never count on me
Well you can always count on me to let you down
All you can do is sit and preach
While you watch my world turn inside out
I can hear what you’re saying
You don’t have to shout
It’s not that I’m not listening
I just don’t care
This life is a prison
And I’m not one to be bound by despair
The icy clutch of a world so cold
With no desire to grow old
Don’t question my motives
They’re not yours to rebuke
If I have to stay on this planet one more […]
Just another day for me. Got drunk last night and didn’t wake up till 10:30. All I could do to drag my ass out of bed and take a shower. Wed. is laundry day so that’s all I have to do today. I think I’ll get drunk again – nothing much else to do.
Today, I had the misfortune of finding Alice hung on the ceiling fan a note on the couch and a women (who I later found out was with the hotline for suicide) crying.
Alice was barley alive when I cut her down.
She died in my arms
Alice had two younger sisters named Jasmine and Emily. They are currently with me. Like Alice said her mother died very recently from a heart attack and she took it verybad. As for her father, when I went over to collect some items and found out he had heavly forced sexual intercourse with her and is now in […]