i was getting good at being strong and i lost it. i dont know how much longer i can hold on. it all hurts and i want the pain to goaway

that’s all I can say really.  why mom do you hate me so much?  why mike did you kick and hit me when mom wasn’t around? why did you call me a waste of space?  why dad did you let brooke burn me with her cigarettes? why when she left did you isolate yourself?  I was 7 years old making my own dinner out of anything I could find in the cabinets. cleaning the house and making sure you had enough beer for that night.  I through all the bottles away and hid them so your friends wouldn’t see what you had become.  ive been […]

that title just describes it all. I honestly hate myself.  I don’t look in the mirror because I know I will hate what I see and I will hate what I have become.  My arms used to be clean slates and now they are nothing more then a cutting board filled with old and new marks.  I promised things that I have broken.  I try not to let things get to me but how can you fight your own mind?  there came a time when I just gave up and stopped trying.  I hate myself for that.  I was in therapy for awhile but I […]

I cant seem to do anything right anymore.  My depression is getting worse and worse and everybody thinks that its getting better.  I have been out of therapy for 2 months and I need to go back but I don’t have the strength to tell my dad. My mom called me a selfish ***** and hasn’t contacted me in over a week.  I moved to my dads to be happier and I am in some ways but its my mind that I cant get away from.  I miss my best friend. I miss seeing her everyday she says nothing has changed but I feel it and  […]

dont even know what to say just drawing a blank its like theres nothing but everything going on in my head. and i cant feel anything anymore no joy no saddness or maybe nothing but saddness. i feel like i cant enjoy anything not food not sex not even getting up during the day. it starts and ends like this. now whenever i think about my past or the people who were in it who arent now. you just learn to accept certain things. never truly understanding love or how it should be. it’s funny almost how many people tell me they love me or […]

I will shoot myself after I post this. I have no one in my life. Please inform the police that in Athens, Georgia, united states of america, that there is a dead body.

im currently 16, i have been going to counselling for about 2 or 3 months but thats all irrelevant. i have a boyfriend, also 16 possibly going through depression as he shows some signs of it and has recently told me he wants to disappear or dissolve into the earth and cease to exist. now i too have been in a situation where i have not wanted to exist (ive attempted 3 times before, obviously not succeeded) but i dont quite understand his situation, he doesn’t particularly want to die he believes he is too much of a coward to do it and i am […]

I have a boyfriend (as you all know) and because of him I try not to think about, you know, suicide and other dark thoughts. But right now it’s very hard for me cause he isn’t answering my emails. His emails just suddenly stopped! And I’m very worried… I don’t know what to do. I’ve been pacing the room, mailing him again and again, messaging him, my last resort is to try calling him but I can’t cause my mom doesn’t approve of him and doesn’t want me having contact with him so calling would mean she’d find out. I know, since I’m suicidal, I […]

I have set the date for when I am going to kill myself. It may happen before then but I have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.  I’m just so sad all the time and I think about killing myself every day. I don’t want to live like this for the next 20-40 years.  From the outside my life looks great. I have a job where I make good money. I have a wife and kids. If you look close though it all seems meaningless. M job causes me so much stress that I’m exhausted most of the time. My wife won’t have […]

Pills and alcohol, my only respite in this world.

I have tried to kill myself 7 times, 4 I have woken up in ICU and cannot understand how I was saved. I have been out of the last psych internment for 3 months and less than 4 days of that I have been sober.

I lived for 2 years with severe suicidal ideation. Have bipolar, sever clinical depression and so badly want to die. My body still fights, but I am lost. I have had bulimia, severe anorexia (BMI 14), self harm, cutting, hanging attempts and now I binge eat and feel so, so bad.

I want out, […]

Will people miss me if I just die? Im not perfect , sorry .

Repeatedly listening to something that grasps a piece of what I can’t express.

I’m scared of myself. I’m reckless. There’s nothing that I want to do more than to die, it’s like this really strong drug that I can’t live without. And I can’t tell anyone about it. Every night when everything seems to become quiet and everybody is asleep, I feel myself pulled into an unknown destination which causes me to feel extreme pain and euphoria at the same time. I think it’s death. I am so scared of actually doing it, taking overdose, pulling the trigger, anything. I’m scared of leaving everything behind, my […]

While my medicine time is up coming. I wish to share my thoughts about suicide with you. I am excited and kind a feel more okey when I read other posts here. It s pretty diffucult to say to parents that ” I think about killing myself” . They basically don’ t know what to do mostly in my experience. Or friends if you have some close. I truly can’ t say I have today. I feel today life is about that. I don’ t have someone to share what I am going through. Honestly. Still face with this and silencely planning or dreaming my […]

Is there any common enemy for all humans? (another planet, aliens…)

Hitler formula: If you don’t have enemy create one, in order to make country together

If all humans work on single problem, IMO, all these individual  problems will fades away

“All humans must fight with common enemy not among each other”

i tried to do suicide last night but it didnt work my aunt found me lying on the floor and she dressed my wounds why would she do that is out of my mind i hate it i want to die i have nothing to live for anymore moms gonna go dad don’t give two fucks about what happens to me i see no fucking point in living, my friends wont let me die i just want peace i want to die i want to be gone my friends can get a new girl to the group. help me to kill myself please

It’s easy to slice the skin, it’s easy to leave behind the scars. It’s so damn easy, so damn easy to slice a little deeper than intended. I like it that way, so why don’t I just cut a bit deeper? Why do I watch the blood drip with cowardice? I have what I need, why do I crave the pills? I have used self harm as a way to cope, shouldn’t it be the way I finish my sad ballad?

After I lost my friend, I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, I wound up joining the wrong crowd. I was always a little bit of a drinker, I mean I liked the taste. But I got a little too tipsy one night, and I wound up sleeping with this guy whose last name I still don’t even know. I wound up getting pregnant after that, but I tragically lost the baby before I could even tell anyone, including my family. I wound up spiraling down into depression and “cutting” and I was just in a funk. As soon as I […]

Most days just trying to get out of bed is impossible. I have learned over the years, and might I add, perfected, putting on a happy face for my family and “friends” but my whole life is an act, and if I have learned anything from drama class it is that I cannot act. So why do I try, when all I really want and need is a friend?

The post I published didn’t appear so this is a test post to make sure I’m able to publish blogs here. If this works, I’ll re-post the other entry, if not then such as life…

1. You have no idea how much pain the suicidal person is going through. You have no right to decide whether they should suffer or not.
2. You only have control over your own life. Don’t ever try to control someone else’s!
And 3. Who are you, anyway, to decide whether a suicidal person is ready to die yet, is to young or too this or that, to die? You say that suicidal people don’t care about you, for example, how you’d feel if they died and you missed them.

Excuse me? Did you consider how they would feel if they had to continue living in […]