I can’t seem to be able to kill myself. My life is too beautiful. I just don’t fit into it anymore because I made myself a fucking monster.

I just wish I could wake up and be four again. I just wish I could wake up tomorrow and be happy and carefree again. I just wish I wouldn’t wake up at all. I just wish I didn’t have to feel like this every day. I just wish I could feel something. I just wish I could feel anything. I just wish things were right.

I’ve had quite a few people get intouch with me so far,  the conversations have been great, but I’m wondering who else is out there?

I’m a 21 year year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I don’t normally talk about my own issues, though I’m always upfront with others, I’ve found it easier to talk deeper about said issues with someone that actually relates. But I would also like to talk about other things, I guess it depends on whoever contacts me. I don’t care about your gender, I’m panromantic, not that it matters. I […]

I invite this pain in

To Forget the pain outside

My whole life had become a sin

The wind blowing at me telling my life it’s lied

Wishing I was free

Wishing I was let be

Wishing I could be at sea

The sea is my key

Not to live but to die

To be in peace

Tired of my cries

My Life needs yo decrease….

Just Thinking about death.

Wishing it would happen

My Life feels out of breath

My world has just blacken

I just want this life to end

I don’t want this nightmare to continue

I don’t need my life to extend

The minute I was born I was a sin

My tears coming  like a thunder storm

My Life being like a hurricane

I’ve done nothing but harm

I have nothing in this life to gain…

… because making shadow animals during projections is really cool and if I stay alive, I’m able to do this again in a week.

Why are you staying alive today?

Hello everyone,Ive been on this site for more than a year now and ive read allot of stories on here from allot of different people,but the ones that are most common(in my opinion) would be from people in their teens talking about how they want to end their life because their boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on them.Im a 37 year old male and I used to think that was stupid (well I was never in that position as a teen to get cheated on,late bloomer lol) anyway i had time to reflect on my life and think about things over this holiday,and i have to say that […]

I feel so incredibly guilty. Marked, Branded, Judged. Dirty, filthy on the inside. This is my confessional. I am selfish, I am false, and I am a liar.

I can talk, spill over with words here about her, and what she did. But in the end, after all of the shit and piss and blood of Her, I am the one I am mad at, and I am the one who is guilty.

There are so many things I would rather hide away. Hide from plain sight. My internal wretch, the insufferable Thing I see in the mirror. What people see is false, and I know it. […]

Why is it that people think that just because they don’t believe in God, an afterlife, or anything spiritual that it actually will not affect them when they die. I hear people everyday say that oh i don’t believe in afterlife so i will just cease to exist when i die.  I personally believe in and worship the Christian God of the Bible and Jesus,  not to shame those who don’t. I fully understand that there is a distinct possibility that I worship a God that isn’t real. And I’d be just as happy to cease existence as to go to heaven, almost more so. […]

Doesn’t take away the pain,it gives it to someone else.

hate disappointing him,the sound of his voice rings in my head,try to put myself into his situation and know how he is feeling,its so hard when you love someone so much you just want everything to go right,you cant die cause you live for that person you love,knowing their alright means so much to you,try to please them but its never good enough,feel everyone hates me and no matter what i do i cannot make anyone happy im a failure in life nothing has ever gone right don’t want to go in detail cause its hurts so much thinking about it,he hurts me sometimes and […]

I don’t have the money to just run away, so my second option is to die.

What is the cheapest way to die?

I’m not saying I don’t understand people on this forum. I have been reading a lot of stories on here for nearly one year. And today this video seriously changed my life, so I hope it has the same effect on you..!

http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip

for all those cutters out there i know this addition i know what you feel im going through the same thing and the only thing thats keeping me going is my friends and music, music is always going to be my world no matter what even if you dont have friends or people around you music will always be your true friend whatever music you listen to there will always be a place for music, it will help you and keep you going you will be able to self harm no matter what because of that additiion but music will help you a bit more […]

(I know that some of you won’t, but please keep your rude, degrading comments to youself. Like a diabetic doesn’t ask for diabetes, people with mental illness don’t ask for it either.)

I inherited bipolar depression from both my mother and father. I’ve had a lot of emotional problems since I was a child. I was always extremely depressed and angry, somtimes suicidal. I had a compulsive cutting addiction as well, not just surface stratches..the kind like “Oh my God hold her down, put pressure on the bleeding. Call an ambulance” I was hospitalized twice which I am immensely grateful for. They gave my bipolar depression […]

Being suicidal is probably the worst state of mind you could possibly have. When it’s no longer if you’ll take your own life but just a matter of when, you’re bound to be a different person than you were before you became set on that decision. Everything is soured. I couldn’t even watch Kung fu panda because all the wise messages within that movie make me feel like shit. I used to like that movie for the cute humor and it was kind of inspiring in a way as well. It’s like another language now. Positivity and wisdom are like languages from my distant past […]

Anyone wanna chat?

Goodnight everyone! This might sound like the biggest load of horse manure, but I care about all of you. I don’t even want to think about where I would be if not for the support of everyone here, and that, that is what I am thankful for. Goodnight and thank you for making me a better person.

I need some advice. I’m kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I don’t know what to do.

As some of you know, I’ve been cut free for nine months, but I broke that streak two weeks ago. For me, cutting is an addiction. My legs are covered in scars, but I can’t stop cutting them up.

I wanted to tell my parents, but you need to know what happened the first time I told them I was cutting. It went a little something like this:

I was in the shower, but I was too upset to cry. They had taken everything away from me. […]

I’ve been awake. But asleep inside. I hate being alone, but i don’t like company. I miss you like hell. But i won’t let you know.

I’m well aware of how it aches , and you still won’t let me in.

Asleep or dead.