Hello…this is the first time I write something like this, but I hope it works…
Never make someone your everything, because when that someone gets tired of you, you’ll have nothing…I’ve heard that so many times; and I didn’t believe it till now. My stupid decisions made me who I am….an empty girl who just wanna die. I lost my best friend…the only person I could lean on, she got tired of me all suddenly. Well not that suddenly…It was my fault, I abandoned her first, but I just wanted a real family for once…does that makes me selfish? I think that I’m selfish after […]
I don’t like being weak. But damnit I must be. I cry every time I’m sad and I can never get past my mistakes. But I can see why. I’m honestly ruining my dad’s life. Me stressing him out is causing him to have seizures. My negativity is sucking the life out of my own father. Whenever I try to change I just end up doing something else wrong. My dad wants my mom to come back home and I’m too selfish to not have an attitude with my mother, for my dad’s sake. I so often contemplate suicide. I honestly think it would make […]
It’s fucking ridiculous. Finally get my boyfriend back after cheating on him and lying on him, and now my depression and paranoia comes back full swing.
A couple months ago, I met a guy who I had tons of things in common with, and long story short we had an affair after my boyfriend started pushing me away. I ended up telling him, and he dumped me. But now, we’ve worked things out and it’s mostly in the past.
The other day,, we were laying in the grass. He turned to me and asked me to marry him. We had already been planning on it before all […]
Imagine this:
You come home from another shit day at school. The bullying, the classes you’re failing, the loneliness. You’re sick of everything. You walk into the lounge room and slump onto your couch. Your little brother sits happily next to you, smiling at the cartoons on the TV. He turns around and asks how your day at school went. You say everything was ‘fine’. Blatant lie. He says that’s good and goes back to watching cartoons. You lean over to his cheek and give him a kiss. He turns to you again and says “What was that for?†You smile and say I love […]
Hi there, I posted here about a month ago, maybe a month and a week, when I’d felt like killing myself. I’d just had been through a breakup with the first guy I ever liked, and I was stressed about college, and a variety of things happened that contributed to the feeling. However, this post isn’t like that. This is a happy post, mostly.
To start off with, when you love someone, it’s either going to end in a harsh break up or marriage. Â Usually at a younger age, it’s a break up. Â There’s not a whole lot I can say on the matter except this […]
I haven’t written anything for a while. I guess because I was getting better. That’s the hardest part about living with depression, it can go away but it’ll keep on coming back, it really makes me want to just give up. Well, I really was getting better, my confidence was really increasing, I stared communicating a bit more, I even went out more. And just this past month it began to eat me up again. Just this month which is eight days I’ve collapse more than three times. I just break into tears and I feel as If I cannot be saved. I guess now […]
I don’t really know what to write…I had a really really bad day and looked up suicide, and found this website. I’m just, I’m so tired! So tired of being me I guess.I’ve been to a psychologist and I’ve talked to so many people for such a long time, and I’m constantly told I’m getting better but I’m not. And I hate when people tell me that it’ll get better and then don’t explain how. No one seems to understand, and I’m just so tired of everything.
How often would you say that you visit SP? How often do you feel that you need it to get through the day?
For me..I’ve been checking on this site at least twice a day at minimum but more often I’m here periodically through out the day. That’s been my normal daily routine for the past 6 weeks I think.
I’ve been needing to express myself for a long time now, having to hold a lot of my thoughts and frustrations inside, in my real life. I already bother everyone with my constant ranting, it seems.
I need this site most when I’m just sitting around […]
Okay so I am new to this site and I don’t really know what to do but yeah..
I’m young and I have already made many mistakes in my life.
I was talking to this guy and I sent him a picture (because he asked) of me in a bra because I figured that it was just like me being in a bathing suit. Well we just sort of stopped talking months after and I figured that he deleted everything. I started talking to another boy and we started dating, after about four months the same thing happened whit my boyfriend and I sent them because of […]
I never wanted to believe I was depressed even though the symptoms were all right there. The constant sadness, feelings of hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, lack of sleep, grades slipping.. The whole time I just pretended I was okay and ignored my feelings. Whenever it got really bad I’d cut myself and sleep listening to music. I never told anyone any of this, because no one really cared. And also thinking about it and writing it down makes me seem crazy, so I couldn’t imagine what people would think if I told them any of this. And honestly, I finally am accepting the fact that […]
I saw one of my old friends at college & career today…
we exchanged smiles and waves.
We sat far away, Â never talking just movements.
I’m happy that she’s happy now.
We hugged goodbye and that was that.
I find it weird how we never said a word to each other just smiled, waved, than hugged.
She was so sad when I first met her.
I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that’s real,
The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to kill it all away,
But I remember everything,
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,
And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,
I wear this crown of thorns,
Upon my liars chair,
Full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time,
The feelings disappear,
You are someone else,
I am still right here
And you could […]
When I was nine my stepdad started drug dealing. The people that he would sell to were either junkies off the street or very powerful people. To help his buisness he would strap me down to a chair and test the drugs out on me in front of his clients and when he bought off of some one. He sold crack, oxicotten, pain killer, meth, weed pretty much any drug you could think of. I dont know how he gets it all i know is ive been the test dummy for 5 years.
It was during Christmas break last year, when I couldnt stand my life anymore. My stepparents left so i was locked in my room. when they leave my friend would come over. That day i thought she was practicing with her band. I then busted my door open, ran to my parents bedroom and grabbed my stepmothers sleeping pills. It was an entire bottle, 250 pills. I then i drew a bath. i got into the bathtup, took all of the pills and slit my wrist. If you slit your wrists and submerge them in water you’ll bleed out faster. FROM THIS POINT ON […]
Erm, Hello…I’m a 15 year old girl and I’m shy.
My life began to crumble when I was 5. My parents broke up and I witnessed the shouting and screaming the punching and kicking and so on. From then my family noticed that I was becoming weird, I disconnected from my friends I became introvert and just not with the world. and I was in this ‘state’ for some time, I began having social fears against people and fears against animals and insects and my dreaded uncle, I was abused by him when I was 11-12, he would hurt me and I’d have vivid dreams of […]
It’s my first post here so i will just write something that i’ve felt.
I was a quiet kid and really shy one. Could not open my mouth to say things out and sticked to my mom’s side as she was near. As the time passed and i got older things started to slowly change and i became more confident so i could at least say a word.
This is not what the story is about but the thing is that i will never say a thing loud about what and why i feel. Not that long ago(maybe 2 years) i had my first real thoughts of […]
THIS IS A POEM I WROTE ABOUT MY LIFE!!!
BROKEN TOY
Laugh, like you always did. As I ran from your footsteps and cried as I hid.
Laugh, as I freeze with fear and tremble as you come near.
Laugh, and watch as my body falls. Treat me like a punching bag, you don’t care at all.
Laugh, as my screams fill the night. As I lay hurt, never strong enough to fight.
Laugh, leave me bloodied and bruised. You see me as a broken toy. A broken toy for you to use and abuse.
Laugh, as I bleed and bleed. Watch my existence slip away, as the lights in my eyes […]
So I hung a rope in my garage yesterday morning. It and the beam its hung from are sturdy enough…at least my ass didn’t hit the ground when I grabbed on and swung. I set it up so that all I have to do is climb to the second rung on my two tier foot stool, apply the noose, and step the bottom rung to tighten it then step off completely to finish it. Obviously I have yet to step off while ensnared. I, however, have been repeatedly been putting on that tie and getting to the bottom rung and just bending my knees because […]
I have felt like this twice before. Once was when I was homeless, trying to sleep under a bridge in the rain. The other time was when She was in the hospital dying and I was sitting in that cold, white, sterile waiting room, drinking tasteless water out of those tiny paper cups because there was nothing else to do but lose my mind.
In each case I felt a coldness that had nothing to do with temperature. It was as if my soul had detached from my body and, without the superficial covering of flesh, it felt how exposed and fragile it is in the […]
Humans have no natural predators. We have conquered many forms of disease and continue to do so. Our life expectancy is increasing. And so are our numbers. More humans living longer lives.
Really, we’ve gotten to the point where the reduction of humans must be “voluntary” because certainly nothing else can kill us. Ideally our species would have enough restraint to limit its breeding, but that’s not working. So the only other ways of self-imposing our reduction of numbers are murder and suicide.
With that in mind, do you suppose we here at SP might be at the cutting edge of evolution? The decision to voluntarily end […]