My sister let me move in with her, and she has her boyfriend who lives with her as well, and everything was fine when I first arrived. In fact I honestly thought it was amazing, I felt so free and wanted and I was happy. But then things just kept dragging on and on and today my sister came back home and told me that my actions have been hurting her boyfriend. I don’t mean to do any of this, I want him to be comfortable and happy in his home and I feel so beyond bad. I haven’t cried so much in so long. […]

A week ago I was kicked out of my mothers house by her and her boyfriend because I finally told her that I plan to move in with my elder sister, who my mother hates (she isn’t her mother though).  So all in one afternoon I packed what I needed and I got out…. in the back seat of a cop car I had never felt so free.

That freedom continued for a few days until the other night I got home from work and I cried. I hated it so much that it made me regret moving here, not that I had anywhere else to […]

What do you think your avatar looks like?

Mine looks like a little guy in a go-cart! lol

Glad you got yours back Procel. 🙂

I guess our avatars serve a purpose one way or another! lol

Remember me? I posted this video last week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OpaekXGWPc

Well, I said I would write up each day what I did for my last week and I haven’t even been able to do this. I’ve been so low I don’t want to talk to anyone and have been cutting. A lot. I’ve come on here everyday but I just didn’t have the energy to write something. I haven’t enjoyed being with my friends or family and suicide is running through my mind all day. I’ve been tempted to take an overdose and have been keeping my medication (My mum has to give it to me now […]

(Sorry in advanced if things are disjointed posting on my cell)

I found this site nearly two years ago thought maybe I should make an account. Each time I would be bogged down with fear that maybe I shouldn’t what would people think? After all I already get looks because I have to see a doctor on and off or the medication that has caused issues in the past.

Today I gave in the fear is still there however something I said last week gave me pause. “Maybe the reason I haven’t tried in a while isn’t because I suddenly want to live. Maybe it is because […]

So I’ve been depressed for a long time… pretty much since I turned nine. I know that its normal to be depressed sometimes, but this has been going on for more than 5 years. I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me but I feel like I have an inferiority complex? basically I’m lower than dirt. I can’t go to a therapist because my parents think I’m fine. I tried to commit suicide a year ago but I was found and saved by my parents to my own dismay. Ive talked to them about what happened and all they said was that actions come with […]

After my really depressing night last night, I got a call today from the manager of the local CVS asking me to come in for a job interview! I’m so excited and nervous, and when I found out I couldn’t wait to tell my dad because he’s really been riding me to get a job. So I go downstairs all happy and I tell him the news, and his response was, “That’s great, but you still haven’t done the dishes.” …………….

Fucking seriously? I guess it just goes to show that no matter what I do I’ll never be good enough for him. That’s fine. I’m […]

I wish I could hate myself. Then at least I could feel like I deserve this never-ending string of disasters that is my life. I wish it were me who was the fuckup, and not the selfish, apathetic, incompetent pieces of trash that make up such a big chunk of society, ruining it for everyone else. Then at least I could feel like I deserve this.

Each disaster is just bad enough to make me want to die, but not quite bad enough to either kill me or make me kill myself. So I’m trapped. 27 years of the same shit in different packages, with little […]

“Hey did you hear about that bridge on road (insert address here)? Its apparently haunted. Yeah a girl committed suicide there. They say you can still hear the echo of her brain matter splatter when her head bounced off the pavement.”

Ok so i am dramatic but for the love of god I dont want to end up being that ONE place that all the drunken teenagers go to see “ghosts”.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to say that I hope you are all doing ok out there in your lives, hope you are keeping your hopes up. Stay confident that things are going to turn around for you soon. Keep helping each other keep the faith high, and keep your drive in making your life all that it can be. It’s not too late, and there is some one out there who cares about you. Find your strength and your power and use it to do good in this world. I believe in you.

For those who know that death isn’t ready for you, hold […]

It’s time to tell the therapist WE failed. I failed and we failed. No point in wasting anymore  time and energy.  The therapist seems burnt out now. Phoned it in last time. It’s not helping with what I need any longer and now there’s no point. Nothing is getting fixed.  Neverending cycle of  failures. In fact, the last visit seemed to ensure failure.  I did call and shared that things were really bad but no follow-up phone call. Nothing.

Maybe if I write this out something is going to change… I just want someone to know.
I tried suicide three years ago. Guess that was the most amusing and pathetic suicide attempt in its own history. I survived as you see (sharpen twice next time). After that nothing much changed, No one even knows about it. I kept on existing and ignored my mind by making up beautiful illusions so I could get through the day (it worked well BTW) and I was too scared to try again.

Sadly… Don’t know what happened.

The feeling is back again, stronger than ever, different and now for real. […]

I have been searching for a long time on the internet looking at various suicide sites. The only posts that really touched me were those that aptly depicts the tough period and the struggles that we have to go through to fight this. It isn’t easy at all. It is such an invisible illness with such heavy social stigma, yet it eats you away bit by bit, or in large chucks I think during really really low periods.

I have been trying my best to fight this but I cannot when I grew up in an environment that makes me depressed and still does every single […]

I’ve  been out of work for almost a  year.  Not for lack of trying either.   I finally got an offer but it’s only an entry level position that pays $10 an hour and isn’t even full time.  The good news is I’ll be able to pay rent.  The bad news is, I won’t be able to afford to feed myself or keep my car running.

I have more than 10 years of experience.  All the effort I’ve put into trying to building my career and this is the best I can do.  I’m a fucking joke.

It’s not just the career either.  I haven’t had a […]

Been a while.. because I thought I was done once i started antideppressents.
Apparently, as I’ve come to realise; they don’t even work.
I’ve never wanted to die so much.
Being told to kill myself because I’m ugly and shit, has topped it off.
I dunno what to do.
I’m so mentally tired of the pain.
Pain, pain, go away, come again, never just Fuck off will you!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will hurt much more..

So lately I have been getting really bad, to do with my depression and anxiety. One of my friends suggested I talk to one of the school counsellors but to tell you the truth I am scared to death of either what they will say or what will happen. If only I had one of my parents to talk t this about only if they would listen, they wouldn’t though so there isn’t even much of a point in asking. But I’m just asking do they really help you or do they just listen thoughts anyone please.

i wish badly i had never been born. i never asked to be born. Life is sucks!

any idea how to kill ourself without pain and make it like an accident?

The nature of my job requires me to be somewhat social.  This is quite a contradiction in the sense that when my anxiety and depression are at their highest, my desire — and ability — to be social is at the lowest.  I spent most of the day today at a family reunion.  It was totally exhausting being social for so long.  Today it’s back to work after too short of a summer, facing what already suggests will be a long, long school year.  This week will be hard because I will be forced to be social with my co-workers, repeatedly, over and over, through […]

Long story short,I thought I could do anything I want,I thought everybody was faries and vampires and I thought I was in a dream….anyways this was when somebody laced the drugs I bought. I know Karma right?
But im just here to share a cool brand I found at the mall called ‘To write love on her arms’ it was a sweater on clearance and I just googled it and guess what? Its a sucuide project reach out thing….
The store was zumies
http://www.zumiez.com/brands/to-write-love-on-her-arms.html
https://www.facebook.com/towriteloveonherarms
But I really did go to a jail but was eventually put in the hospital cause they saw I needed […]