When the world is a monster
Bad to swallow you whole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvmS9Cb42w
Kick the clay that holds the teeth in
Throw your trolls out the door
A few months since  I haven’t write anything. But right now everything is so fucked up, I’m fucked up. I’ve been cutting again, besides I haven’t been eating and if I do. I just puke. So I’m back in this horrible shit, that’s called life. Somewhere in my mind I believe there’s hope, but is it there really hope? I just want to finish everything. Nothing makes me feel alive, nothing makes me smile. I’m dying inside, and nobody around me notices.
Imagine this if you will. You’re transgender. You grew up in a poor, abusive household where you lived in constant terror and stress. Your parent-captors told you if you didn’t tell CPS they would pay for you to go to school, but they meant the terrible community college in the neighborhood. You are disabled mentally and physically. You have chronic pain from fibromyalgia and a back injury, and migraines constantly. You’re completely broke because no one wants to hire a young transsexual much less one that’s disabled and doesn’t even have a degree yet because you were homeschooled by incompetent idiots and completely fail at […]
Don’t you think it’s true that people who’re suicidal are really stopped from doing it because most people want them alive for their entertainment with no consideration of the suicidal person’s suffering?
1. It’ss ok to die whenever you want to.
2. It’s ok to try to find other ways of living if you think you’re not at the end of your tether yet.
3. Nobody ha the right to tell anybody what to do.
4. It’s not shameful to talk about suicide.
5. As much as it’s ok to die whenever, just don’t die over trivial little matters please!
6. People who don’t want their significant others/family/friends to die, need to consider why they’re suicidal in the first place, and help them.
7. You’re allowed to vent and rant! Express yourself however you want, just don’t […]
Well I’m here at the lake, just me my gun and what’s left of this case of rocky tops. For once I’m finally at peace, I watched the sunrise an set an besides that I’ve done absolutely nothing today and loved it. I’m ready this time no panic, no fear everything is just dare I say peaceful. My heart is pounding as I write these last words but not racing just steady hard pumps, I’m a bit anxious with anticipation about what’s going to happen after I pull the trigger so I’ve sat aside any preconceived notions about the after life and just take it […]
They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s […]
I am not sure if this is a universal day that everyone celebrates/knows about, so I’ll just explain what today is. Today is Father’s Day and this day, along with Mother’s Day, is one of the hardest days of the year. What Father’s Day is, is a day focused on fathers around the world (I think it is around the world, if not I believe it is in North America at least) and their children and families treat these fathers with extra respect and love. Some people give gifts, or cards or just have a dinner with family. But for my family, we go all […]
I’m gonna have coffee and cake now to put a smile on my face. Then a good walk will keep me happy for today. Another day to stay heere. Then will start process again tomorrow, with different activities to keep me happy. I’ll stay alive for longer that way. And when I get old it’ll be the same, till I find myself too frail to go on. Then I’m gonna end it. I’ve decided that’ss how I’ll know that suicide is my only and last option left, so I won’t kill myself before I get the chance to live for some experiences I might miss […]
Im back again, to let out all my emotions.
Today is monday the 17th of june about 10:01am
It all started on sunday. I was working, like i would normally do at Macca. i was doing drive thur so giving to food to the cars and then ths guy was like to me ” Oh i swear i brought this face stuff” im like what? and he says ” your face! i have this brand of face wash and you should try it, ill bring it for you next time ” when he left i ran into the bath room at work and stared at my face.. […]
Hello people it’s about ten after nine in the morning here, I ended up crashing last night so now I’m on here. I’ve put this blog up here to give space for people to rave and rant about anoy problems they have on their chest. I believe in one’s right to die at your own hands whenever you want. I’m just giving people another option just in case some of you want to live for a bit longer. If you still think it’s your tiime to go, then good luck to you.
So how many of you have gotten hate mail before? I bet a lot of you have and, let me tell you now, it isn’t fun right?
Honestly, I like getting hate mail because it shows how many judgmental sons of bitches are in this goddamn world. I’ve been told that my scars from self-harm/cutting were FAKE.
Seriously?! Do my fucking scars really look fake? What do I do, spend hours in front of the mirror drawing every single scar on my wrist, stomach, chest, shoulders, arms, thighs, legs, and ankles? I spend ten hours making sure each scar is there and then I cover it up […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
If you have a significant other, what is the right thing to do?
As far as relationships go, committing suicide is probably the worst thing you can do. Dumping the other person, whether in an ugly argument or just by packing up and disappearing, is a lot nicer than letting them find your messy corpse and having to deal with the cleanup, funeral, explanations and shame of it all.
I know when my time comes, I’ll end my life mercilessly without much thought. So I should probably prepare. I’ve come to the conclusion that, for me, encouraging someone to love me when I have no interest in […]
Maude: Do you like sex Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Excuse me?
Maude: Sex, the physical act of love (coitus) do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude: You’re not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean.. Coitus?
Well hello there! One of the many depressed among this site.(: I’m in depression, thinking about suicide, so I’m seeking help because God knows what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I wonder why i’m told “Don’t kill yourself!” because I don’t really see the point of living. The only thing keeping me in this fucked up world is because I’m afraid of Hell. Yes, I’m a Christian. (:
Why do people try so hard to live? Even if i were to live, and live a better life, have nice house, nice cars,a nice someone that loves me, I really wouldn’t care. People work so hard […]
Well the evening is finally here..
spent the last week getting ready for tonight
Got a bit of a journey to make but i’m ready..
Feel a lot more positive and prepared this time around have also got a couple of things to
help keep me calm.
I feel “this” is my time
Peace and best wishes to you all whatever you choose
Hello,
First of, all. i’m not sure if this is a part of the project, but it made me laugh indeed.
” ERROR: Banned by WangGuard Is a mistake?.”
Anyway…
I’ll keep it short 🙂 10 months ago, I have met a very interesting person, over the Internet. Actually, SHE met me (chatted me up on some forum, where I trolled, never wanted to see anyone, but I made one exeption this time). So we chatted. I liked fer. Later, a lot.. Then she said something like “I do not believe you are real, come and meet me” So I did, we did. This went for 4 […]
Just went on my last holidays, it’s pretty neat here. Two days ago I visited the bridge. The water is almost 4 meters deep and there are strong currents. The currents are something I’d like to have. The stronger, the better. They are so strong they are visible on the surface. The bridge is in the close proximity of something I don’t know how to call in English, but the idea is that this is kind of thing which people use to make water deep or shallow. It’s a barrier for water. The currents are so strong here. I think it will help me drown […]
“When you’re chewing on life’s gristle don’t grumble, give a whistle..”
“Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it..”