So Its another day. Again im still here amazing how i can try too pull my life together when its easily falling apart. Like people care. Im not eating.im cutting.Not takeing my meds.My papas drinking all the time i dont understand this anymore whats going on with him ?? i mean hes been acting strange we barely have food in are house because he spends all the damn money on beer.Me and me boyfriend broke up and now i feel lost like everything i had going for me turned out for the worst i mean i loved him. Where Still gonna be friends.. Im going […]
He broke up with me.
The only person that cared about me.
I love him so much, and all he could say that he didn’t feel the same.
I didn’t make him happy and all that kept him to stay was guilt.
I give him my virginity, my dreams, my trust.
He doesn’t even care you see?
1 year and a half what is it to him, nothing, a burden.
Days pass by and all I see is your smile.
“Leave me alone.”
All I can do is watch how you fade away out of my life.
How can I forget everything […]
It’s an oxymoron; I know. Because by definition a suicide note is representative of something horrible, and the word perfect means lacking in flaws or defects: so you really cannot have a perfect suicide, can you? I don’t know if it’s possible or not. But I want to come as close as I can. My name is Rachel. I am seventeen years old. Some might say I have my whole life ahead of me, but one day really soon, I am going to commit suicide. What follows is a draft of my suicide note. Read it. Comment. Help me make it perfect.
If you are reading this, […]
its snowing here…
and its snowing in my head i can no longer stand it i wnt kill myself because i cant…
its painful my mum threatens to put me into care just because she cnt deal with being a mother..
even when i dnt shout she doesnt listen..
a normal parent takes you away from your siblings and calmly talks to you..
but no she shoutes abuse and swears and emotionally abuses my heart and soul..
im scarred ..as for my sisters….ones my step sister i thought we wud get along and we do but she doesnt care no matter how much i stand up for her she never ever […]
Makena. I love you more than life itself, i put so much trust into you. i put it all in for you, i have never loved anyone or anything the way i love you, i didn’t have to be a strong man because you were strong for me, i think of all the moments we have shared together. You kept me from drinking you showed me how to be in love. for 2 years i have loved you more than anything. Now its all gone and you don’t even care. I am in pieces and you are just fine did 2 years not mean a […]
Sitting here, all I really want to do is paint these walls red. Noth with the blood of mine enimies, but of the blood of myself. I want everyone to witness the blood, the pain, and my suffering. Let them try and wash the blood from these walls and their clothes.
I’d finally end it, but I’m scared that I’d mess up and live and everyone would resent me more than they already do.
Every where i go i feel embarassed and like im being judged and im probly not but i believe it. My sister always yells at me and gets mad at me for no reason and i have to blow it off cause i get in trouble if i yell back cause shes older. If i go to church then the girls there think i wear to much makeup and think i wear low tank tops. I try and make everybody happy but its like i can never be happy cause im making everybody else happy. Everyday i fight myself when i want to cry and […]
this god damn depression began 1 april 2012 , first it was hypochondria and big stress about health issues but than it evolved into something more sinister than I expected – depression . In june 1st i stopped feeling anything at all I began to feel empty , stopped going out with friends I played all thay long games at the PC , and some of my friends stopped calling me… Than after 2 months playing games 15hr/day I looked at the mirror at my skinny body, pale skin , and thought what the fuck is happened this psychosis destroyed me. I’ve lost some of […]
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
So I’ve had suicidal thoughts most of my life, and they were never really this bad before, but lately, the last few months, it’s been an almost constant companion in my head. It’s gotten so bad it’s really all I can think about. I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
What’s really not helped is I feel my partner of three years slipping away and nothing I do helps. He’s always so busy, weeks go by without seeing him. I wanted us to spend his easter break together, get away for a day trip or something and reconnect. Just some alone time, but […]
All my life since I was 10 years old I got called fat, worthless *****, **** .. name it my dad prob already said it.
I cried , screamed , I even told my teacher before. No one helped. my mom didn’t seem to care , The only person I went to was my older brother (My dad was so worse to my brother).
I got older and Now I am 19 and I no longer speak to my mom or dad, They do try to call me but I won’t answer, I don’t even want anything to do with them after how they treated me. I […]
I’m 22 right now. I wish I could go back to school, so badly. 2001 – 2006 was my school year, I have so many repressed feelings from back then that I can’t let go of and I wish I could go back. Maybe I feel like I haven’t ‘grown up’ enough, not mentally but where I could of visioned myself in life. When I think of my feelings of suicide, it stems back to my school days.. If I had one chance to go back and change it.. It’s the most regrettable time of my life.. I’d give anything to be that 13 year […]
I am currently burning in anger, hatred and despise.
All humans are evil beings who only think of themselves. I hate everyone. There is no freaking thing as friendship. I don’t care about relationships and all that bull. Â You can’t even rely on your own parents.
I mean, come on. The woman who gave birth to me.
You can’t even rely on God.
In the end everyone will only move on by themselves.
And that is exactly what I’m gonna do. Once I am out of here in August I will freaking throw away all contacts and shits and move on. I will definitely do this for the rest of […]
I hate myself, i guess that is apparent. I cut myself for the first time tonight… I like the pain, to see my own blood. It makes me feel more human, ya know? I just want to cut a bit deeper… A lil closer to that artery. Maybe I just might end it… But ifeel like i have a couple things to do before i die. maybe i might just have something to give. But i want to just rest. sit here and bleed.
He shut the phone off. The last thing I said “I feel like such an idiot for thinking you’d never make me cry again” must not have hit the mark. The nerve. I wanted to hit a fucking nerve. Anything is better than the silence of neglect. Checking the blank screen every 5 minutes, and picturing him at the bar, with some…girl. Running her fingers though his thick brown hair and asking stupid questions. I should be there with him, babysitting his fidelity. Reminding him of everything he has to come home to in case he forgets. I have the faith in him of a […]
It’s late. The last person who said they would sticky by me and be my friend is now ignoring me. I officially have no one. I don’t really have anything to say. Just desperately lonely. Wondering why I have to suffer so much. Wondering why no one cares.
I just don’t understand how his heart suddenly turned so cold.He knows I have no one. He knows I want to die. And yet, he ignores me. I just don’t even know anymore. My heart aches with loneliness. I just wish my mother had had that abortion. Selfish *****. Don’t have a kid if you aren’t going to […]
I don’t want to die, not really. I just want to know how to live. I’m not really living as I am now. I want to have good friends. I want to have good memories. I want to have success. I can’t have that if I die. I just can’t live with the pain anymore. I ruin things. I don’t know if I can ever have what I want.
my birthday is in 5 days and im usually super excited and this year i wish my birthday would just disappear. I don’t want to celebrate my life cause its not worth celebrating! My wish is to just disappear!
I hate my life- no matter what people tell me , they can tell me how pretty am I or how great I am. I feel like I am nothing and I have nothing to offer. I am so done with trying, I just want to be done. I have nothing left to offer but I don’t want to kill myself, I just want to be done. I don’t want to anything anymore.