It’s been some time since I’ve posted on here, because I really haven’t had much to say. Things had been normal & for the most part everything was cool, I was beginning to be able to handle myself… Then I lost it. Yesterday I literally tore apart my room, balled my eyes out & cut. I cut in a visible place (which makes it worse for me) & it sucks. Ppl have been noticing and since my cat recently passed I can’t use the cat excuse anymore. Idk I just had to get this out… I wish I knew what made me temporarily lose my mind, any […]

i am an adult, now. at least according to the law – i’ve been an adult for quite some time. i’m 23 years old, on my fourth year of university and nowhere near graduation. i’m majoring in something i don’t love because i don’t love anything. i live away from my family – which is and has been broken for eight years, my mother so depressed she can barely hold a conversation that isn’t self-deprecating and shame-laden, my dad so lonely that it’s physically painful to speak to him, my younger brother so, so angry – and my two friends, who are the only meaningful […]

but I am lurking this board for some weeks and it kinda relieves me to read some of your posts.
I have been depressed for 15 years now and without any meaning, any point and any hope for ever getting better, it’s often hard to carry on.

I really have deepest respect for everyone who tells his/her story on here and finds the courage to end their suffering. I know I can’t as I still cling too much on this shit I call my life. Anyway, thanks for reading my useless post, I really appreciate you all.

So I’ve been thinking about doing it (suicide). All day, every day, every year. And the only thing that’s really stopping me is fear of hell.

Is hell real?

I just can’t risk going to a place where I’ll suffer MORE than I’m already suffering now.

What do you guys think, is there a hell? If you commit suicide, do you go to it? Or do you just stop feeling anything… like before you were born, complete noexistance of the mind body and soul?

and don’t worry, your answers are not going to make me do it.

Todays been horrible. Lately I’ve been wishing that someone crashed into my car. I just cut a while ago n I’m bout to go get some weed. I’m fucking tired of everything I realize that I don’t longer want to be here. I should be excited for all senior events but I’m not I just want to get the fuck out of school already. I want out I don’t even care about my grades no more. I want to DIE!!. There I said it. I don’t know how much longer ill be able to hold on.

13 months ago My Ex-girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me for another guy.
When your in a relationship for a long time you become disillusioned, you forget that what you and your partner say to each other is just a thing of the moment really. “I will always love you forever”. You forget that things can change quiet easily.
I was pretty devastated at the time and couldn’t get past it.
For the next 9+  months I would be moping around, thinking about her and wishing things would have worked out differently.
For a while I was convincing myself that she was simply […]

Hi my full name is not that important right now but I will be revealing it on a later post..

So this is my story..I’m a writer a very good one if I may say so myself and I “was” quite clever to, although I had a average life growing up with both parents and a grandparents who love me and spoiled me in every way possible growing up in the new South Africa..so if you asking yourself why am i here writing this post on this “suicide project” if I had such a good child hood..thing is life was never good to me..truth is the […]

I know that Trevor isn’t worth it. But he is.. I know something about him. Something that hardly anyone else knows. He has problems at home.. And it makes me so furious at his parents for treating him like they do. See, the thing is, I don’t think he said all that shit that Emily said he did. He’s been staring at me all day, then turning away, blushing. I put my hands on my hips once when he looked at me, though… I don’t care if he’s mad at me, though. He can deal with it. And if he did say all that stuff, […]

It hurts too much.

I don’t know how to carry on. I fucking hate myself.

I ruined my life; I ruined myself.

I have tried so many times, I’ve got one method left on my list.

This existence is fucking pointless.

have a read – if anything, at least you’ll get a laugh:

http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2013/02/how-the-shit-my-dad-says-dad-celebrates-valentines-day.html

If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?

lover dawg

PS – i’m single/available 😉

is today the day?  im sorry, i havent been coming here or to chat lately…  ive been really really depressed…  the daily thoughts of suicide have returned, and it seems like with every almost love, the crushing aloneness afterwards gets stronger…  i dont know if i can try anymore, and if thats the case, and im gonna end up alone forever…  i cant help but think maybe i should just do it…  i just dont want to be alone anymore…  cya, and happy valentines day…

I am frustrated because, the methods I think of to try suicide don’t work or I don’t know how to do.  Also I am stuck at home so I would have to pay for a hotel, and a lot of methods wouldn’t work well in a hotel.  Like hanging is one that seems could work but, I don’t see how that would be possible in a hotel room.  I’m just so mad that the method I looked at wasn’t very reliable the more I read, because I had a sense of relief when I thought that would be the one.  I’m just so mad that […]

Well today is that day. I will take my journey from one world to the next. I’ve seen most of the ones I wanted to see before I go and a few more to go. It hurts knowing that it is the last time I will ever see them and they to me, yet they have no idea.. I regret that I was never able to fix myself my mistakes, and better my life.. but I hope the other side will finally bring peace and rest. Goodbye to all may you find peace and happiness for yourselves in your own way as well.

I am sooooo tired of hearing people tell me Happy Valentines Day.  I’m 41 years old and have never had a “happy” one.  Love is not real!!!!  Love doesn’t last!!!!  I hate life and everything it has to offer.  Kiss my Ass CUPID!!!!!

Before this post is removed, I hope someone can help me find the information I need. For the SP Moderator, whenever you swoop in, technically I am writing about my suicide story. It just hasn’t happened yet. Foreshadowing technically counts as a literary technique. I’m writing the introduction to my story. If Shakespeare was allowed to give away the ending of Romeo and Juliet, why can’t I?

Of all the methods I have (not efficiently) researched and heard discussed, the one most obtainable and suitable for me would be a bullet through the brain. However, as an incompetent, sheltered teenager, I don’t even know how to buy […]

it seems that this site is mostly just a vent site, blah blah, and moderators pick and choose who has the right to speak and who does not….why did my comment, simply stating both sides to the “suicide methods” argument on here get spammed ?….it was a genuine comment, by me, about this topic….

I would like to here a legit argument for this, as my post clearly stated, that although I think the moderation of people discussing suicide, its methods etc is ridiculous for a suicide project website, I full understand the legal, moral issues etc behind this….and I think a link to my blog […]

i feel lonely…i want to kill myself…but i dont want to hurt my family members…all people in this world see the outward appearance..they dont think about our inward feelings..i dont want to exist in this world..just a selfish world..all are about themselves..i cannot see any pure heart..

Drastic Actions

I’d heard countless stories on the news about how kids my age had tragically taken their own lives. Nobody had ever noticed the warning signs they said, the parents thought that their sweet daughter was perfect, that she had no problems, when in reality she had more problems than most. I never understood why no one had ever noticed the signs or, if someone did, why they hadn’t cared enough to tell someone. I always thought that if I felt this way my family would notice; my friends would tell someone, my teachers would be worried about a change in my […]

I find myself wishing I wasn’t born.

I find myself widhing that someone would look at me and see the pain i am because I cant bring myself to tell them.

I want everyone to realize I am not the bitchy sarcastic person they think I am, I use it to hide..

Why do bad things happen to those so young and full of life, Why do they come in and stomp the joy out of us killing all hope, love and joy.

The day get worse despite the promise of “It gets Better”.

My heart and soul aches and I don’t know what to do…