Okay, so I posted a post two days ago. That I was a little bit proud on myself that I kept my promiss to myself so far on. That promiss was that I had to write a post at least once a day. I maked that promiss because I can never hold on something for a long time. But that whole feeling of a little bit proud is totally gone, because yesterday I didn’t wrote a post. Just because I couldn’t encourage myself to write a post. Also today I almost couldn’t encourage myself, but I really pushed myself because writing on this website is […]
Deep down I want to give up,
If only the blade could cut.
I want to die. I want to escape this place where I get screamed at for being angry, where doors slam all the time.
Will someone hold me quietly, save me from this place? Can I even risk that?
I am cursed. I cannot have anyone love me. Or I will be trapped in this hell called life.
I need someone. Just someone. To talk to, to listen. To respect my decision.
And to not say that he will miss me.
I’d rather be nowhere than here.
So, I feel better every time I get on here, but I still feel terrible nonetheless. I’ve never been called fat or ugly or stupid in my life until I started hanging out with Emily. She puts me down constantly. I can’t stand it. I’ve told her to leave me alone, but she won’t listen. I do have some friends, but I don’t trust them. Not with everything. I can’t trust anyone anymore. And no, I’m not doing this because so many guys have been mean to me; I’m doing this because so many people in general have given me reason not to trust them. […]
My beautiful 14 year old son hung himself 8 months ago. I want to die, I cannot live with this pain for a minute longer. Living is torture.
i decided to do a bit of a project, an experiment of sorts …
im not going to touch my phone all weekend. i want to see what my friends will do, or if they will even notice. The thing is I’m scarficing alot just to do this, and Im not even sure why im doing it … I stayed home last night, which for me is not normal. Im always out on weekends. Im missing good parties this weekend. Part of me wants to pick up my phone and make plans but it’s just one weekend right? I just need a break from society, a break […]
I cant take it anymore. I miss the old me..you know that happy one. That tiny with the actual happy smiles. The real smiles. Im so tired and i cant even find something i like anymore. i could say i want to get better. I’ve tried, many times. But the only time i feel happy is when im with one of my friends…well used to be friend. He helped me through everything. Yet, i pushed him away. He never gave up. ever. he probably still has hope for some reason im scared to be with him. My girlfriends wo i barely tell anything to has […]
Hello guys, its been about four months i think since i wrote anything. I guess because ive been writting on my journal (which is now burned). For abour a month now…or more, ive been more than depressed. I keep thinking its nothing. I mean im only 15, its normal to feel as if your world is falling apart, or any little thing bothers you because of the way we live or anything like that. Truth is, im getting tired of listening to all these thing. Telling myslf all this things is just huting me even more. Cause really its all fucking lies in my head. […]
Hi I want to die life gives me no pleasure I wish to depart for the next world this world is shit but how to do it without
hurting my mom I been thinking of many methods but I have no idea how to make it look like a an accident what should
I do .I don’t want to hurt my mom but I just really what to depart the earth I lust after death to die is gain!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey guys. i’m new here. but i just wanted to post i guess idk. but anyways. not last night but the night before i tried taking my life for the 20th time this month. tried slicing my neck. didn’t work… wasn’t strong enough. i just idk whats wrong with me… i just can’t do anything right or be happy i just idk.. my ex saved me… MY EX…like how pathetic… wtf is wrong with me..
And bittersweet.
I wish I was 15 again. I wish I could replay my entire life over and maybe then I wouldn’t so depressed. So bogged down with all these “Should have”s.
I want to run away. I want to run from all of this that I’ve failed. Run away from the college I flunked out of. The boyfriend I can’t seem to shake, that loves me, but reminds me of a life I want so hard to forget. To erase.
I want to feel the SWEET in BITTERSWEET like I did when I was 15, and not just pain. I want to feel you and taste you […]
Have you ever felt loss?
Like completely losing something or someone?
When everything you cared about was connected to your heartstrings, but it’s being brutally ripped away?
Like you’re being completely isolated from everything worth living for?
Have you ever truly experienced it?
Loss. Honestly I think it’s the worst feeling you could ever imagine.
Your whole body tenses and you just want to scream. And die.
You wake up in hell, and it’s not a dream.
It’s not possible to escape.
It’s fears favorite tool. Complete and utter loss.
You’re afraid you can’t survive on your own and you’re only breathing if your taking […]
Im approaching fifty, will be next year. Im a straight male, never married and no kids. I always wanted to be, and always thought i would be a great dad. I spent five years in the US Air Force and sadly got out. To this day, im regretful, it was my purpose in life to retire as a military man but i didnt, i live with this everyday of my life. As well as the fact never marrying or having kids, knowing that i will die and not leave my mark in this world. I have no friends, and havent had a girlfriend in a […]
I want to die. So bad.
I have no one to talk to, and my depression’s just getting worse everyday.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so hopeless and lost.
I have grown closer to my mom but she broke that bond yesterday when you yelled at me about my grades. I have a step-dad and I hate him, I know it is a strong word but he has made this family worse than it already is. My brother always puts me down and he always gets the highest preaise cause he is smarter and he get good grades, he is in 4th grade. This family means nothing to me anymore and the only person I really love is my grandma cause she loves me and she cares about me and she doesnt bring me […]
What
Ever
Happened
To
The
Days
Where
I
Used
To
Be
Happy.
Remember
Them?
Despite being around such “happy” people, I cant help but feel lonely and empty. A person who I thought of as a brother died in the Summer and while everyone else is still upset about him, I am the only person who can’t let go. I just can’t. I still cry myself to sleep evey night.
I do hope one day I’ll succeed in my suicide attempts. Then both of us can be at… Peace. I just wish that would happen. All my problems, along with me, would just float away.
I want to die. It’s all I ever think about. This feeling consumes me. It takes over and taints my thoughts. I’m so sad about every aspect of my life. I’ve been like this since I was eight years old. What if I manage to live til the age of one hundred? I don’t want to be stuck like this for decades to come after having already done so for most of my life. I don’t want to dwell on this any longer but it won’t escape me. No one ever finds the time to find out who and what I am. I’m tired of […]
If we’ve taken great control to hide ourselves from others, what does it mean to begin disclosing intimate thoughts? in hopes to be stopped? cry for attention? or is it the inability to maintain appearances as death approaches us?
I don’t see it. This life is not mine. I was not to be.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep dawg’s post in mind