It all hit me. I was at coffee with my friend, and all of the sudden it all hit me – the depression, the urge to kill myself, for all of this to end.
I have no purpose, I see no tomorrow, I see no future. I just want to die, so fucking badly.
I’m living but I don’t feel like I am. I just want to fucking die! Why can’t I? Why can’t some car hit me and I’d die? Why can’t something happen and my life would end? I have no purpose. I feel like a puppet doing stuff only because I am told I […]
I don’t understand why I’m here anymore. No one wants me around, so what’s the point?
It all started when I was 2 years old. My dad was an alcoholic. He used to put his hands on me and beat me for crying, talking or playing loudly. This continued for years. When I was 13, my dad let his friend pay him to rape me, and he did. A few weeks later, another friend did tried to do the same, only I got him to stop.
I began to cut myself. My father’s drinking problem got worse. My dad began cheating on my mother with her sister that […]
My Mom Said I’ve Changed. I Don’t Know How To React To That! I Feel Like Crying..
So, Im new on here and I’m not sure how to start this, but i guess ill just get to it.
My Life is like a Lifetime movie.
The reason I started cutting was because of my friend, Andrew. He was literally my bestfriend…. and I kinda had a crush on him. I knew that he had problems in his life, but dont we all? Yeah, I feel like a total ***** now.
Anyways, his family life was worse than I knew. I found this out when I walked to his house. I knew his parents weren’t home(they never were) because his dad was a jackass who, for all […]
Have you ever felt like you were living on borrowed time? Got up in the morning to a cool, icy, winter sun and felt that you weren’t alive? That everything in this world is too surreal. That you are nothing but a mere spec of dust floating in the glow of the sun. Whirling and twirling, Being inhaled and exhaled by the world and it’s inhabitants. Or have you ever felt even smaller than that? Just one single atom. So miniscule that no one can truly define you beyond the others that surround.
Have you ever felt like you are part of the uniformity of society? […]
I wrote this poem directly after a emotional conversation with my parents and the familytherapist. It was the first conversation and therapy with my parents and the therapist.
Like you have to hold your own mirror in front of you.
So you can see all those negativities.
You have to face them,
but you don’t want it because it only takes you down.
Makes you more depressed and more negative than before,
but it’s the only way to face it.
It’s the only way to get rid of those negativities.
But the fact you want to die more than you did before is the […]
I’m a girl, a teen, and I’ve been considering suicide for the last 5 months. I live with my mother, only child, never met my father. I wouldn’t say we’re poor, but we don’t have things like typical families have, car, house, etc. We live in a apartment with 1 bedroom and living room, kitchen and bathroom. I have about 7 different things I can wear. I don’t own anything special.
Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve been very smart, and I’ve been praised for it. My mother got together with a man when I was 5, so we moved somewhere so that we […]
So after learning of a painless method that I find comforting I have decided to try it again and do it right.
Over three decades of being a pathetic excuse for a person ending it just makes better sense. No more disappointment, no more failure. Since confirming the choice to end it I am a bit calmer. I am scared of death but more scared of continued  pain.
I do realize the pain I will be causing for the few people I have around me but I didn’t make much impact in life so I don’t think I don’t think that will last long.
The only reason I […]
I just found this site via google and thought it might help me find some answers to what I should do now.
I’ve been having some serious depressions since I was 13,have been cutting myself for 5 years and had suicidal thoughts ever since.
I’ve been dating this girl for quite some time now and I’m seriously in love with her. The thing is that I’m feeling like I’m bringing her down,it feels like she is going insane and it is because of me. She realizes herself that something isn’t quite right with her and I’m too afraid to tell her that it’s probably me. I’ve started […]
So, here it goes: I’m a failure. I didn’t pass one freaking exam this semester.
Consequence: I get my money cut off. So now I won’t have money for cigarettes, coffee, an occasional night out – pretty much all the little things that were keeping me alive.
I can’t kill myself yet. My mom is not strong enough to be able to take it yet. So that will have to wait for a little bit – no matter how much I wish I could do it now.
Solution: Get a Job. So I’m leaving in a little bit to try and go get job at the casino – […]
I have cut again.. I don’t know what to do.. I have  hurt myself again… I hurt too  much inside.. I want to kill myself..
Throughout my life (18 years) ive been everyones punching bag or the small kid they can bully..ive been the victim of name calling and generally not nice comments such as “you should go kill yourself nobody will miss you!
Family life wasn’t any better from a young age I used to get beat up and everyone turned a blind eye to it…..
As this got worse I took it all to heart which has and still does affect relationships with women and generally people mainly friends, through all this ive lost pretty much everything, I have no self esteem and ive tried committing suicide on several occasions […]
Lately, I noticed that when people compliment me for good jobs I did or for how well I look, my response is rather non-eventful, not even a “thank you” or “I appreciate it”..
It is like my mind responds with either “mm…okay” or “mm sure” And I did not continue or dwell any further on that subject. The person who complimented me also noticed my non-response, so the subject was rather short-lived. I realize that I acted like a jackass and send them a signal not to compliment me anymore. Maybe I truly don’t care or maybe I stopped feeling.
But the truth is.. Do I like […]
Hi, I’m a new user here.. I found this site about a week ago and I was really afraid to post on here but here I go…
I’m a fourteen year old girl who suffers right side hempledgia (weakness all down my right side) and it also comes along with depression. (and anger issues but shh..)
I know some of you are thinking I’m some wannabe emo kid but I’ve kind of been kicked off of those sites for being too “soft” or what not. But I’m just here because I feel like I’m not alone.
And trust me I feel alone all the time, I […]
I’ve been married for almost three years. Together for almost four. And I am very much afraid that soon, he will be telling me it’s over. All the promises we made…broken. How he slowly and patiently helped me to believe that he was different, that I could trust him, that what was between us was truly different, an “Always” love that I could rely on to be there, forever…a lie. If I could KNOW, with such certainty, that we were meant to be and would always be together…and be wrong…how could I ever trust anyone or anything again? Not anyone’s promises, not my own perceptions, […]
Somebody in my philosophy class last semester suggested that maybe life is hell. She said, look at all the suffering and pain, doesn’t it seem sort of hellish the things that so many people have to go through? I didn’t know what to think then but now I believe her. This feels like hell, it hurts like hell. The emotional pain I have experienced as a result of depression is absolutely indescribable. There are no words. The feeling of wanting to die is so strong at times that it terrifies me. I know I am capable of acting on it. But I can’t, because I […]
Guys,
I’m falling apart right now and I’m not really sure why. IÂ feel like I am completely on my own. I’m starting to get really scared because I can feel myself getting out of control again x
I have an important assignment for school, that I NEED to do today, it’s already like a week late, and it basically determines if I graduate from high school. But I can’t work on it. My mind is reeling, it’s not ordered, it’s not focused, its all over the place. I NEED to do this assignment but I can’t. I just keep thinking about all my fuckups. I keep remembering the last time I was happy, and I want to go back there. I want to but I can’t it’s in the past and I can’t get it back. I’ve been so unhappy for so […]
I wrote this poem the other night. I was hurting so bad, I wish I could kill myself. I have kids though, and I don’t have anyone to take care of them if I did. They are the only reason I am still here walking on this earth. I can’t figure out what exactly is wrong with me. I don’t have any friends anymore. I used to but i found out that none of them really liked me, and were talking behind my back. I have had this happen with anyone I have ever been friends with. it hurts so bad. I have been through […]
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