There are may types. Most have 2 gauges, one shows tank pressure, one shows line pressure. Do you actually need one? Not really. If you only crack the valve a little, only a little line pressure will develop. Do I own these things? Yes, welder by trade, of course I own them.

I am never good enough. first its school, then its at home, and now my friends. I hate drugs, absolutely hate them and my best friend got this boyfriend who made her int a big ass druggy and now its my fault that her and our other “friends” call me a loser because i don’t do it with them. i changed my Facebook profile picture to me and my boyfriend at prom with her and her ex boyfriend saying “I miss this..” because that was the last time we ever hung out because now shes too busy. (on my birthday i invited her and her […]

I just took a bunch of pills. my first time attempting suicide.. we’ll see how this goes. I don’t feel anything, not sadness or fear. Just need relief. Night everyone.

Things keep on getting worse for me, I really… I really just want to die, and I don’t see anything for me in this life. I really don’t, I don’t see anything happening for me… I know if I go to jump right now, off my 14th floor balcony there will be no one to stop me… I guess the main reason why I haven’t done it yet, because I want to feel needed or wanted, or maybe a reason to live for and I don’t have any reason to live for.  I just want to die badly, I really do. I can’t have a […]

I was at that muslim cemetery you were buried in, which is a little heart wrenching because you are without a doubt athiest. I found some kind of ritual you can do to bring a loved one back for a little while, it was hell to do, but it was possible and I did it. You came back but it wasn’t the same. You were happier, and more at peace, rather you were still your condescending self. Just not as much. We talked for a while, and I felt so much better. Your family members and some friends came to the gravesite. Some could see […]

March 18th will be the one year anniversary of knowing my ex….that day I’m going to send him a message telling him how much he means to me and tell him I still love him…but I’m going to ask him if he really wants me in his life but if he doesn’t, I’m gone.

At first all I wanted was to be with him and I would risk everything..now all I want is to see him smile again and I will risk everything for that..even my life..

I will probably relapse that day but it will be okay..I just need to know his answer..

; I feel lost.. Confused.. Unsure of what I am doing.. Why do I get hooked on things that can only hurt me.. Why do I smoke? Why do I do it all? Is it to get rid of the pain? Why am I like this? Oh bj & a ride to get weed.. What have I became? It’s a disaster.. I feel like a whore? I had sex when I was 13? With a 16 year old? I feel soooo gross. Why would I do such a thing.. The high lasts forever & makes me feel amazing.. Am I hooked? Could this go farther? […]

You disappear…

What have I done to deserve this?

I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]

I honestly have no idea how to work this site, but truth is when I was little my dad tried to kill me and ended up in prison and beat my mom multiple times in front of me. Along with that I’ve been rejected my whole life because I’m quieter then other people. Then of course I fall in love being stupid and stuff so when that happened he was SO in love with another girl and never ceased to let me forget and left me inthe dust. So now I have anorexia, I cut, major depression, and have had suicide attempts. […]

“Have you ever cheated on anyone?”

“.. Yes. I won’t hide it.”

“Would you do it again?”

“Hell no, Domino!”

“Should you ever do it again?”

“Never again.”

“Could you tell me about it if it happens? I promise I won’t get mad. I just would like to know.”

“.. Yes, my dear.”

And with that, he signs off for the night and once again I’m left alone. Tomorrow will be the last day. Last day of suffering through my own demise from a ‘withdrawal’ of my precious need. I’ve been going on and on about how much I love him, how much I need him, how much I wish to have him […]

I’m tired. Really really tired. I just realized something today. I’ve been struggling my whole life for what? Nothing I do can change the outcome of my life. All I can do is choose whether I want to make things more difficult for myself or not.

I haven’t seen my therapist in almost a month. I know I should contact her and I feel bad for not showing up. But, talking with her is painful. It reminds me of what things should be like and how I want things to be. But, that’s never going to happen for me.

I could go to school. I could suck […]

This ones for Vikki.
My only true friend. Through thick and through thin.
The first person I told.

This ones for Austin.
My boyfriend. I love him because he broke down my walls.
The one who taught me how to love again.

And this is for Jason.
My youth pastor. Because he saw through me.
He saved my life.

I am determined not to cut. I will not.

I’m desperate. I don’t want to anymore. Please, God, I’m begging you, make sure I will die accidently. Let there be a strong wind, when I’m standing at the platform waiting for my train, so I’ll fall off the platform onto the rails and the train will drive over me and I’ll be dead. Or let my bus get a serious accident I won’t survive. Do something, God, I’m begging you. Kill me, it’s the only way to save me from myself. Please, God, make sure I’ll die…

~ What if there’s only one way out?
One way to feel better,
one way to love myself.