The weak do not survive

so my name is courtney im 16.  i dont really no where to start. i live with my dad and stepmom, yet i always hadnt.  my mom hade at a youn age she had 4 kids. growing up she was more worried about drigs and partying so i was left there to raise the other children while i was mearly a child. my mother went from man to man, we never stayed abywee long. so i deacided to move in with my dad. lottle did i realize that this would be such a bad choice. when my dad gets mad at me he grrabs me […]

Just found this site.

Trying hard not to give up, like old men sometimes do.

It’s 2 am in this small upstate new york town, and time to go out walking, like i do at night. Haven’t been out during the day, or talked to anyone for a week. All evidence suggests i am already a ghost. Food, i hardly eat, slowly wasting away. No more family, no more freinds. Not very social anymore.

Funny thing, seeing other people hurting always makes me cry. Other people in dispair and emotional pain, i get it, been there. I want to reach out and say “it will get better, just being alive […]

Im 19. 20 in April.
One thing I would wish for is to feel special again. I realized today that the last time I really felt special was an 8th grade orchestra concert and even that was ruined in the end. I’ve felt like an outsider for years. I’ve felt worthless, helpless, unappreciated, Etc. I just wish, even if just once, I could feel like I mattered, like people actually noticed when I’m around. I wish people would take me seriously, but instead I’m alienated and told I’m over reacting or I’m being stupid… The worst part is the people that are hurting me most […]

It hurt so much keeping it in myself just thinking about it hurts l just really wanna end it so l dont have to think about it l have tried telling some adults. But it doesn’t work they just think lm a attention seeking ***** so lm going to end it soon can’t take the pain anymore

Someone said diesel is better than regular exhaust. I’m not sure how to get that option. I have no family, i loved my husband so much, but I held his hand and watched him die. I fought to bring him home. I tried to move on the way he asked me, but every other man hurts me. This is it; no one else will ever care. I had hope, but I get it now, it’s over. Tell me about deisel. Dave, I want to be with you.

Me: I cut
Society: Attention seeker
Me: Im ugly
Society: Attention seeker
Me: Im pretty
Society: Concietted b¡tch
Me: *commits suicide*
Society: Its a shame. They were so beautiful.

I just honestly dont get it. Whats wrong with society now a days?

“You wanna know whats ugly? Society, insecurity, and judgment. Wanna know whats not? Read my first word.” ~Anonymous

Well. Personally, i’ve been called more names than can be counted. Well, ever since 1st grade i have gotten judged for being me…. for my style, my personality, ect… And i got so tired of it. Even now it bugs me. I always say i dont care what people say but deep down, i do. I cut, and i have for a while now. No one knows about it. I just wish that society would stop judging people for who they are. They have their own way, their own style and personality, their own appearance… They are their own person. So why in the world […]

So…  2 weeks ago i tried to commit suicide… Obviously i failed at that attempt, but did stay in a psych unit for 7 days. My point? I am a failure…..especially with life.

As much as I push people away, it might not seem like it but one of the things I hate the most is being alone. I hate the constant silence and the asphyxiated feeling of being on my own with my thoughts. I have to contemplate everything all by myself. 

There is nothing to distract me, no one to provide answers. I often lie awake at night repeating the words, “I’m scared” over and over in my head. It’s not like the fear that comes from watching a horror movie. It’s the fear of knowing that I will always be this way. I can never escape […]

I see people on here postinq poems and sonqs.Well here’s Houston’s finest.Not your type of sonq,ssssoooo.Listen to what there actually sayinq.

Z-ro My Story

Yo man,what’s up Ro man you trippinq son.Put the qun down dawq It ain’t even worth all that man let’s talk about […]

I am going to have to stop using this profile. My parents found out about this site and grilled me for it. Its my fault really for not clearing my history.  I’ll still be on but under a new name. I’ll figure out a way to tell you guys and girls that i was Greed. under the new name. Bye. 😉

And into the world stared these gleaming blue eyes

Which she saw past its dimension and only despised

This beauty she portrayed everyone had  seen

But disguised sadness she made it serene

The greatest flaw that had  filled her heart

Perfection only the beginning, just the start

With blonde stringy hair she curled her hand into a fist

Glass mirror she had feared, now stareing at her wrist

The pale white skin was now deep within her reflection

An enemy she had seen, with this girl had no connection

Tears  streamed down and began to hit the sink

Matched the blood that seeped now combining to pink

Cutting she thought was her only escape

From the horrid  memory of her Elusive rape

The outer […]

You forced yourself on me, along with your touch.

I pleaded for you to stop,  but you still wouldn’t get off.

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I were  somewhere else.

Wishing someone had been here to help.

But I was on my  own, with you as company.

You were supposed to have been taking care of  me.

I guess in your own way, you did…

As a child, I figured I  must’ve done something wrong to deserve this.

I must have misbehaved.

To have been punished this way.

Since  then, time has passed

But I can still feel your cold lips,

And the rough  touch of your hands

Why did you do this to me?

I wanted to […]

There was a chill in the wind that night, one like no other.

The darkness  made it hard for sight, but I knew it was my  brother.

The strength of  his grip, the frame of his stature;

As he grabbed my hips, before I  knew it I was captured.

My throat went dry, I couldn’t scream.

I tried  and tried, but the harder it seemed.

Next thing I knew, an unfamiliar  place; unsure of what to do, clothes were disappearing at fast pace.

My  face turned white, I couldn’t shift.

Frozen in fright, thinking did I  deserve this?

Down my cheek, the first tear rolls.

As he  proceeds, my mouth he holds.

“Our little secret” he whispered […]

Closed are my tired eyes

Gracefully the tears fall

As i begin to lose it all

I take a shot of whiskey

As my head begins to race

The  cigarette is still burning

The sweet smoke is all I can taste

My body is  going numb

No longer can i feel my toes

All i can see our my tears

As they fall onto my breast

There are scratches and dried  blood

Pretty purpled bruises decorate my chest

Lipstick  smeared and hair full of knots

I shove more pills in my mouth

Chasing it with three more shots

My body is beyond broken my mind completely  lost

A lesson […]

Before I start, here’s some background…clinically depressed 31 yr old female, on 30mg citalopram (celexa) for the last 3+ years, last 6-9 months been feeling progressively worse, last 3 months suicidal, changed to sertraline (Zoloft) 6 weeks ago.

at the moment I feel, we’ll, not much really, not happy, not sad, not suicidal. Uninterested I guess. I find it difficult to concentrate for long, flit from thing to thing, and can’t really say I get any enjoyment out of anything I do…not that I dislike what I’m doing – I guess this could almost be a feeling of contentment(?!) apart from one thing. I feel like […]

We, as citizens, have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But what if we don’t want our rights? Criminals continually wave their right to a lawyer, right to remain silent, all that good stuff. And some of them actually use it to their advantage, like smart dumbasses.

But to wave our right to life? If it’s done against our will, could it be considered murder? The definition of ‘murder’ (from dictionary.com) is the unlawful act of killing someone. Now, in my own personal terms? Murder is done against the victim’s will. Their right to life isn’t waved, just invaded… For all eternity.

But […]

Finally, weekend! I don’t quite know if I really like it or not, but it just sounds nice 😛 Today was a busy day for me, because I went to my grandma. I really didn’t want to, but after long talks with my parents I let myself be persuaded. We went by car, we never do that because she lives like 1,5 Miles away. The reason was that I am afraid to start cycling, because I haven’t in 2 months because of a knee injury. Still we stayed for only half an hour, I really didn’t liked it. All the questions from my grandma like: […]

you were inside my head
creating constellations in my mind,
and every breath i drew
was one last prayer to the stars.
in my dreams i felt your touch
lingering softly,
as together we imagined
our beautiful and divine universe.