Deep Eyes and a nice smile.
Simple
<3
When to Say When?
I been thinking……. when is there ever a time in a person’s life that they should say fuck it & give up on life & end it?
Is there ever a time to say: I’ve tried but it’s now time to stop feeling lonely, being rejected, stop taking one steps forward and two step back in everything in life and just pull the trigger.
I think I’m just not built for life ups & downs. Seriously
I’m about to fucking snap. I’ve been getting so angry lately, like to the point I want to fucking literally killy some one. Usually I can control myu anger but this dumb ***** has pushed me to the fucking point… My Mom wouldn’t help me and go over to her house and talk to that cun’ts mother and that ***** still wants to talk about me. Right Now it hurts to breathe, I’m so fucking angry. I’ve broken everything in my room. My knuckles are bleeding and I can’t take it. I have a whole bottle of benadril right next to me and I’m about […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
I sit alone in my bedroom
I lie alone it what will one day be my tomb
I close my eyes and
Slowly extend my hand
I feel it now upon me
That luscious thing I cannot see
It is a rose petal on my fingertips
Spider silk upon my lips
Touching darkness, a dangerous thing
But it makes my heart sing
I an consumed by my dark lover
It is I she covers
She whispers to me words of deadliest desire
But there is no burning fire
Only blessed cool chills of night
I slip into the world of no light
Here I am King
Oh, touching darkness, the joy it brings
Its another morning.
I awake. I sob. I’m awake. I’m still alive. I wish I wasn’t.
I suffer from dysthymia, a form of mild depression that is persistent. All I know is down, all I have ever known is down. I also suffer from Major Depression, episodes of extremely severe depression that last 1-12 months at a time. Yes, they put depression in my depression so I can be depressed while I’m depressed. This is called double depression. One of its features is being more hopeless than someone with one form or the other, another is that it is hard to treat.
I also have generalized anxiety. Tons of anxiety all […]
I see you look at me
The black and white of your eyes
You cannot truly see
It is all truth or lies
No in-between
There is no gray
Do you really know what I mean?
Each is a monochrome day
It’s all white or black
You live or you die
You can’t take it back
Why try?
It’s all the same
Who laughs and who cries
Who cares who left and who came
At least, in your checkerboard eyes
I must turn away now, for fear
Of you, of us, of me
I turn away from the mirror
I cannot see
‘m in cage, locked inside hell,
 I was so sure, I was completed,
I went so far, but then I fell.
     As I lost it, I was defeated.
 But I try to get back up every day,
 And that’s something I won’t give away.
I’m getting back up on my feet,
 I could understand to you it’s madness,
 For me to stand, and to accept my defeat.
But this helps me, It breaks down my sadness.
 Life hurts, but you’ll be alright,
 Keep going, Keep yourself going,
Just get back […]
I am a mildly-practiced person of above average clairvoyancy. I see things that most people don’t want to see. That they should never see. I know who calls before I pick up, I know what suit the first three cards in a deck are. I’m not kidding. My mind’s eyes has only scratched the surface of a fully open state. But that’s enough. Something is coming. Whether it affects all of us, or me alone, a tempête is coming. A huge disturbance. It is almost here. If it affects just me, why would I wait to die a slow death at the hands of Mother […]
My Name is Markus Jolley, also I go by MJ. I have tried at least 12 attempts of suicide, all failing, and now all I have is myself. I have no family, and I live in a group home for troubled or stranded youth. When I did have a family, I developed differently than any other kid my age. The Tests for mental instability or disorders started when I was 5. I went through medical tests over and over, until an MRI was ordered on my brain. It turned out that I had Frontal Lobe Gliosis which looks like this. http://www.ajnr.org/content/24/2/218/F3.large.jpg
This Problem explained my functioning […]
I’m such a coward…
Everything’s in place for my death, and the only thing holding me back is my fear.
Fear of death, when it’s the only logical way to end all suffering.
Not just my suffering, but my family and friends’ as well.
Everyone’s better off without me, and that’s the truth.
So all I gotta do is jump…
and let gravity do the rest.
Fear is holding my feet to the ground.
You fucking coward…
I’m no longer intent on committing suicide. I’ve been told I can make a living will if I want! It’ss for me, but also to stop my grandparents from trying to destroy my family by arguements on account of the decisions I make in my life, especially where medicines and comfort level is concerned. Thanks, disability assesser! And thanks, apparently nice nurses, doctors and the rest of my lovely hospital staff now friends, who have somehow gotten me over my grief over the last procedure that my Nan successfully caused great discomfort from, by simply interfering with what the doctors wanted, subtly. And last week […]
Originally, I always thought that god loved me, and that other people loved me too. I thought that my lack of talents or good traits was just unlucky. But I dont think God loves me, or anyone else for that matter. Even my own mum, admitted that she thought that i am “Sick”. My parents are never going to be happy. Neither am I. It doesnt help that i have no talents or abilities or ethics, even the most basic instructions i find hard to understand. Im slow. Im dumb. Im weak. I have been called all these things by my parents. Theyre right of […]
I think about the why everyday. I have solid reasons. The how has eluded me. I can’t figure out a solid way to do it successfully. I read and have ideas… they are either unrealistic, unreliable, unattainable. Same goes with life I guess. I take shitty care of myself…hoping that will work soon. probably not.
I suppose I should begin by saying that I’m not seriously considering suicide, and even if I were I don’t think I could go through with it. That being said, this seems like an appropriate place to share in a way that I’ve never even attempted to in real life.
Upon first talking to me, people generally assume that things go well for me and that I’m on some sort of path to success. I’m intelligent, educated, have a good sense of humor and have always had strong natural talent in music, which has been the focus of the last 8 years or so of my […]
Recently I’ve noticed that the more social I become the more suicidal thoughts I feel. I was with my friend yesterday and I was fine but as time went on I felt so insecure I don’t remember my exact thoughts but I know that they were self-hating it’s funny how I get lonely yet I feel awful when with people I feel like I don’t matter which I really don’t. I really feel upset when I hear good news from other people like oh ” so and so is doing so well they’re doing (insert activity here)” it just makes me feel like I had more going […]
My name is Elora Schrader. I am thirteen years old, and I was hospitalized last March for an overdose of prescription drugs. My parents are druggies and drunks, and I beg for them to notice me, but nobody listens and nobody hears me cry. Because, in the here and now, nobody cares about anyone but themselves.
I have deconstructed a pencil sharpener, removing the blade. it is 10:35 PM. I will not do anything until 11:00. I hope that I will see or hear, something, anything to change my mind. I don’t WANT to do this again, but it is the only solution. Not just to […]
I relate so much to the posts here. Other (dare I say normal) people don’t think like this. Don’t feel this pain. Don’t fantasize about dying, about how beautiful exhaust smells. I know it’s wrong with my head, but my heart gets hurt over and over, and I say “It’s ok, I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” And the best the woman on the SP hotline can say is my cats need me. How lame a life is that? But I guess I wouldn’t have searched for this place and posted if I didn’t want help. It […]
I really was. Now I feel like… There’s no other option. I’m just not strong enough to get hurt over and over and over again. I want to cut myself, but it’s only a temporary solution. I want to kill myself, but I’m too afraid. Everything hurts. I’m too sensitive to fucking live a normal life. I’m too scared to get help. I can’t… I don’t know… I just can’t.
I’m a 14 year old guy.
These are some of the reasons I think I should commit suicide.
I was at a good friend’s house. He walked down the hall. I thought to use the restroom. He came back with a shotgun. He told me what a worthless son of a ***** I was and that he was going to kill me. He pressed the gun against the side of my head. Then pulled it back and looking frustrated with himself for not following through, punched me. I layed there while he yelled at me and told me why he hated me until my parents got there […]