Is life worth living, knowing you wont get better? Ive been depressed for 6 years. In those 6 years, I’ve attempted suicide 9 times. I’ve been hospitalized, and I’vs seen doctors. I refuse to go back. Everyone who has tried to help me, I push away. I would rather be alone and then die, then get help, because I don’t know how to be happy anymore. I am not sure if I ever knew how to be. Maybe its for the best.
I’m terrible when it comes to time. I get so lost and distracted, I can barely tell when significant portions of time have past. I don’s know where the time goes, but I lose hours of it. Before i realize it, time has changed everything. Nothing is as it once was, and its all my fault. After each attempt for suicide, time becomes even more foreign to me. After 9 times, I just stoppped caring. Now, I barely get through the day. Its like being frozen in time knowing everyone else is moving foreward in life, and all I can do is sit there, and hope that one day […]
My heart stopped. It felt as if i just walked over the edge of a cliff and fell straight into the ocean, where i would never stop drowning, falling further and further into the deep. Terrified of what Love could do i stopped. So there i sat everyday looking out the window at nothing. Nothing was my life, nothing but a broken heart and the numbness of the world that is. The numb helped me through everything i can remember. It helped me forget and forgive everyone but myself. Myself was a person not even i was familiar with. I couldn’t figure it out and […]
Nearly twenty-five years of life…and what have I got to show for it? Not much. The disappointment I’ve caused is overwhelming, disappointing my family, friends and myself. I grew up in a very religious home where nothing but good things were expected. It cuts deep realizing the failure that I am. I’m the youngest and all my siblings seem to be doing something worthwhile with there lives. They were successful in college, religious obligations, and career opportunities. I have failed in all those things.  Unmarried and unemployed, I am full of guilt and shame. I hate myself. I have no motivation, no drive to do anything that takes effort. Apathy, I think […]
Where to begin. I was doing great. After I had been doing really terrible. I was suicidal, and almost killed myself. But i asked for help, got on meds, got into therapy, and finally got my life turned around. Or so I thought. I transferred schools, because I could not stay at my old school. I wanted to continue playing my sport, because that’s one of the few things that makes me really happy. At least it used to. And my coach had betrayed me, and would never trust me again. I needed to move on. I wanted to be able to figure myself out, […]
I  used to be depressed and suicidal and thenresized I was just being selfish so I eventually got over i  I started tryin to see the good in everyone and that they ate not only out to get me.
But hen my birthday rolls around.  I had a party came everyone camebut no one would talk to me. Today I went to a holiday party anmascot picked last  for everything  Everyone made fun of me when I did something or said something tomorrow is my actual birthd and no one is going to decorate my locker and they are just going to mock me  […]
EVerytime time I turn a corner I just keep letting everyone done.. Soon I think I’ll post some of my real writings o here, maybe it will help
well I just thought I would tell a story really quick. about three moths ago. there was this guy. he was new to my school and he was hot!! we imeadiatly became really good friends… then he told me he liked me. of course I liked him back he was practically my dream guy. then he started to take interest in my best friend. well one day we went over to his house it was me too of my best friend him and his friend. his friend and one of mine hit it off right way so that was no problem. then he tried to […]
A man
Such a simple concept
Burned into our minds from birth
What a man should be
smart, confident, resilient.
handsome, chivalrous, in control.
So many things that just aren’t me.
Men are smart, my grades say no
Men are confident, I’m shyer than anyone
Men are resilient, I break at the drop of a straw
Men are handsome, I am ugly
Men are chivalrous, I’m a douche
Men are in control, I’ve lost that long ago
What a man isn’t, that’s been told too
And again, the opposite is what I do
Men don’t cut. My arms beg to differ
Men don’t cry. My eyes must deceive me
Men don’t hurt or so they say
I try to hide it away
Push it […]
I’m sick of the drugs and pills, the panic attacks, the hatred, the lies, the abuse, the blood, the scars, the hospitals. Most of all: I’m sick of life. Why even try when nothing has gotten better? Why should I even get up in the noting if the day always ends with pain? Why should I go on when nothing anybody says helps? Why do people lie to me and say they care when they just end up leaving? Why should I even bother when nobody cares?
I’m only thirteen and have tried to kill myself more than 3 times… Some people say its ***** that I didn’t but I couldn’t.. I would feel guilty, my family an friends, idk how they would deal with it.. Sometimes I want to tell my mom that in depressed but I don’t want her to feel bad, I don’t want to be treated differently and I’m just one of those people that Hates even crying in front of my parents.. Right now I’m not suicidal but I don’t really wanna live? Idkk … Night😘
iam in a dark place and have been for a while. no one is here for me and i should have known that i have been alone my whole life my life is horrible i am 26 and went through 4 years of daily sexual abuse when i was young. when i told someone later in life my own mother excused what i went through by saying we were just kids and he didn’t know better. now he lives with my mother, its all supposed to be ok because he said he was sorry and said someone was doing it to him. my childhood other […]
Lots of my friends said I should join. I guess that’s kind of it, apparently there is some great support system here….
Is there anyone here in their 30’s and above who never had a “significant other”?I would like to hear your stories.And do you feel so lonly that you want to kill youself?
hi. well my name is zoe I’m 14 and I think I’m really depressed I’ve had emotional issues since I was in fifth grade but I haven’t ever told anyone about it. I’m a middle child in between two brothers. my dad neglects me and verbally abuses me while I think my mom is great. I hate my life so much and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to find anything to do about it. I’m so scared that I’m going to end up killing myself cause that’s not what I want to happen. I cut myself on a regular basis and […]
Nobody believes I’m depressed. My parents say depression isn’t real. My friends think I’m an attention whore. He thinks I’m not suicidal anymore. Truth is, depression is real and it hurts like hell, I don’t want attention they give it to me because they saw my cuts, and he just doesn’t want to believe that I’m still planning suicide. I think it’s funny that they can’t cope with my depression. I mean, it’s MY depression, not theirs… I just wish it would stop or that I could talk to somebody who I don’t have to look at face […]
I’m starting to feel as if nobody understands, and even worse, I don’t think anybody cares to understand. No one knows. It’s like I’m falling off a cliff, scrambling to hold on. I’ve found a root, but that root can’t hold on forever. It’s almost done, it’s about to give way, and I crashed.
I go through life like a dream, it’s almost like clockwork. 10 AM, depressed, won’t talk to anybody, just trying to keep from bawling. 12 PM, happy-go-lucky, bouncing off the walls, so excited. 2 PM, depressed again. I constantly wonder, what’s the point? Why even bother?
I’m not enjoying myself, and I’ll admit, […]
I was supposed to kill myself almost 3 years ago on my 24th birthday. I wish I had.
I can’t bear the knowledge that my ex is moving on with her life and happy and doing well while I am so tortured over what transpired. Losing her love is horrible, but losing her as my best friend–that’s what just makes me wish I was dead. I’ve been optimistic about life, and doing OK sometimes and looking forward to the long vacation which I just got back from. But now I’m back and all alone and feel like I’m at square one. There are times when I’m […]
hi everyone, for the past month ive been in hospital. you may of read the other posts but if you didnt then ill explain, when i tried to commit suicide my mum found me and i was only just concious, i told her to write on here and say sorry to all of you wonderful people. the things i did to try make this work was, poison, overdose and cutting my wrists and it would of worked if mym mother didnt come in my room. i left her and my family a letter explaining further details of this website and told her it was important. […]
I give up. On everything. Nothing is worth it anymore. Nobody loves me. My family hates me, especially my dad. Everyone loves my sister more than me. She’s skinny, smart, popular, and beautiful. Multiple crushes and my own father (he shouldn’t even be called that) like her better. My father calls me stupid, a whore, and a slut. The one boy I have loved since kindergarten told me repeatedly he hated me, that I’m a freak, that I’m ugly and fat and a lot of other stuff that’s completely true. I have practically no friends. They all left me in 6th grade. I was left utterly alone. […]