The Truth is…

Nobody believes I’m depressed. My parents say depression isn’t real. My friends think I’m an attention whore. He thinks I’m not suicidal anymore. Truth is, depression is real and it hurts like hell, I don’t want attention they give it to me because they saw my cuts, and he just doesn’t want to believe that I’m still planning suicide. I think it’s funny that they can’t cope with my depression. I mean, it’s MY depression, not theirs… I just wish it would stop or that I could talk to somebody who I don’t have to look at face to face. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Am I supposed to keep cutting, keep planning a suicide attempt, or do I try to be happy and stay away from razors and lighters and anything else I can get a hold of to hurt myself? I just feel so lost. So freaking lost…