When I was young, I was ‘diagnosed’ as being gifted. High intelligence, learns fast. They forgot to mention the side effects. I analyse everything and everyone. I can’t stand being around people. They never say anything interesting. Meaningless discussions about the boring crap they do all day long and are planning to do. I can make almost anyone like me with the masks of sanity I put on every day. Cheerful to some, great listener to others and a serious guy to more others, everyone likes me. I have a good job and decent enough looks, by all accounts a great guy.
But noone sees […]
amen
I’ve had depression for almost a year now and my life is just falling apart. Over the summer I’ve tried to kill myself 5 times, but can’t even do that right. I have nobody to talk to about how I’m feeling because nobody understands. They’ll just label me and think I’m a freak… People think I have a perfect life because I’m popular at school and always seem happy, but they don’t know that every night I consider killing myself. I’ve been on another depression forum and people keep saying things will get better and to just hold on, BUT IT HASN’T GOTTEN ANY BETTER!!! […]
And harder to get through. I have had that night on my mind since it happened. Scares me. I have many sketches started, but none that I can finish fully. I have put the gun to my head many, many times. Good thing though: I have had the pleasure of some company lately which has helped distract me, and I appreciate it. (you know who you are)
I want to tell myself that I am trying to get through life to get  _______. I am sure I need to know what _______ is before I try to get there. I do not want the end to come so […]
It’s these days where nothing is quiet,
and inner voices start a riot.
They said with time it’ll be ok,
but the pain is not that far away.
But in a sick way I wanna thank you for holding my head up late at night,
when I was thinking I’m standing alone in this endless fight.
And now that you are not here,
the voices are back,
wich only I can hear.
I´m 16 now and I´m writing here first time. I really thing about suicide somethimes but I think i cant make it. I can´t die with feeling I didn´t tried I surrendered to death to life to all people and whole my family.I dont want to run awayand I´m gonna fight. That is what i was telling for myself a lot times. But when i think about it now i can see a spark of tightly hidden will to live.Why? because of her. really old lady. For someone a purpose to live and for the others a reason they decided to die for.Love. Nope noone […]
I’m so tired of trying. Every day is the same. This endless depressing cycle keeps repeating itself. I press on, fail, and end up in the same place I started. I’ve tried so hard for the past 9 years. But everyone just see my failures, not what I’ve achieved or how hard it is for me to survive another day. I feel worthless. Empty, defeated, and alone. Everyone is always wanting me to change, to be doing something else, to be somewhere else, to be someone else. It’s frustrating, I’ve changed so many times, I have no idea who I am anymore. And what good […]
I’m in that mood again but it’s different.
I just moved out into a different place,
I couldn’t handle the one place anymore-
And lately I feel like there’s no forward or backwards,
My mind is absolutely feels like it’s a dream.
Last night I cried myself to sleep,
I wanted to cut and than take all the Melatonins so the pain won’t bother,
Don’t know what to do anymore.
I wish it was a dream-
Tell me it’s a dream.
Maybe I need to live in hell on earth before I can ascend into heaven? I feel as though my life on earth is just a plain hell. I walk, aimlessly, seeking some type of purpose. It never seems to be attainable.
I think out of my whole life, i was only happy for a year. After that, I never found that kind of joy again or magic so to speak. I know compared to others, I should be grateful for what I do have. I just cannot seem to be uplifted.
I look at myself and just feel disgust. Maybe my life is an evil joke […]
When you are a dead man’s child.. No one will defend you.. No one will give a damn!!
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Ok, Let me first tell you, what prompted me to look up this website today, and vent out my frustration . I’ve been having suicidal thoughts for the past 3 years.
Having been a remarkable student all my life, something happened 3 years ago, that all of a sudden, you can even say, overnight, turned me into a loser! Its not a specific incident or anything, but I’d even move over to the occult and say I’ve been struck by bad luck. My performance academically started dripping, my concentration levels started dwindling, nothing that I wanted, even with all my sincerity and hard work, I got. […]
i’m tired of living. i can’t seem to focus on what i have and what i need to do. objectively i should be happy. i have a job, a roof under my head, food to eat and clothes to wear and yet somehow, i feel like something’s missing. i have no passion to live and i can’t help but feel i’ve been left behind in life. i feel i’ve sacrificed the entirety of my existence fitting into a mold i was given that i never even wanted. never had a real connection with anyone, never been in a relationship, nothing. shallow i know… and possibly not even […]
my name is is melody. i am 19 years old. ever since i was a small girl, everyone talked about how cute i was and how far i was honna go. about how extremely intelligent and talented i was. and i really was. i was an amazing writer, i won so many awards, i was a great cheerleader, amazing artist and track runner. i was a class clown. everyone really did love me. but what people didn’t know is that after school, i came home to a horrible household and was bullied every second that i was there. how much of a piece of shit […]
If death is the last thing you ever experience, then why wouldn’t you want to feel it? Why are people so afraid of pain?
i dont hate people, i understand them. it hurts to understand people.
okay so prozac really isnt doing anything for my severe debilitating anxiety, what else can i try,i need  it asap, icant live in this automatic every day feer an stress its exhausting
I sure fooled them. I took that precious college diploma, that winning personality, those great looks and trashed them all right before their eyes. My brain is jelly from all the pills and “treatment”, I’m about as charming as a corpse, and the scars & torn hair make me look like one too. And soon I’ll just be one of those anonymous suicides that they won’t bother investigating because they have other things to do. If the gang could see me now.
I never understood how people felt better after self harming themselves. I didn’t understand how pain could make one feel better. Even though I’ve been so depressed I always told myself I would never hurt myself.
Lately I’ve felt on edge, and just an hour ago I couldn’t take it. Whenever I feel like I can’t take anymore, I imagine myself running away or scratching/ripping my face off. I will usually end up scratching my face a bit but today I felt like I was going absolutley crazy just keeping all this in and none of it getting better. I started pulling my hair and violently scratching […]