Dad: well outa anger he once hit me cuz apparently my voice when i sing is shitty?? but he keeps my sister away from me and he trusts me so im allowed to a lot more compared to being with my mom
Mom: works/goes clubbing/or goes outa the house
Sister: beats me/ does no chores/ hangs with her friends/ bitches and complains cuz no one will do her stuff for her
me: at my moms i do house work/ protect my sister/ cook/ do homework/ help my sister do her homework/ play with my sister/ and then go to sleep when she figures out how […]

I know there is never a good time but how do you pick the time you want to go there just never seems to be a right time.

I just want to be held. is that to much to ask? i try to hold everything in but somehow i can never move on from my past. the aching i feel through my body and the tears that are stained on my face are like tatoos that can never be erased. i try to smile and say i will be okay but why do i lie i guess im trying to hide from my mistakes. the blood that comes down my leg. hoping that doing this will make my pain go away. but only for awhile. when am i going to change?

So every single morning, I wake up. Obviously, either wise i wouldnt be here right now and you wouldn’t be reading this crappy entry. but oh well. anyways, i do my normal routine, get ready for school, stare at myself in the mirror, criticize myself, decide whether or not i should skip breakfast, blahblahblah. sounding familiar? .. then i get to school, dont know who to be around with in the morning, should i hang out with my backstabbing friends , or be a loner and get looks and shit? i choose the latter most times. school goes pretty fine, heart hurts everytime i see […]

I need alcohol now my parents locked it up cause of me. Little do they know it keeps me sane they don’t understand my anxiety

I can’t stop it anymore. I feel like shit all the time.

I think I might.
I might.

I Probably…

                             Will try until I fail.

I don’t know how or when. So don’t ask.

I won’t plan it. It will happen by itself.

…. I feel like failing.

I have never posted here before although I have been reading what others say for a while. I dont ever talk to the people in my life about emotions, feelings or anything else that I keep buried deep down inside myself in order to get through the day.

I have friends. I have friends that I never talk to, and friends that I talk to about small trivial things that are unimportant to me but I deem to be considered normal by society. Its important to me that I blend in and that no one notices that something is wrong. If people knew that something is […]

(Blow me one last kiss)

So Hi! :3

Lol. They wanted to take me back to hospital today.. And I finished all of my colouring pages. Then destroyed some with black crayons and random scribbles of what I think are meant to be words.

I keep thinking it’s my fault.. Just seeing her screen name is enough to start a breakdown. It’s physically impossible for me to have done that.

I don’t think I can take much more of this, And the fucking pretending is driving me insane. I can’t do that anymore, I’m going to break soon.

Well, As I always say.. I’m a broken toy. A little Teddy-bear, […]

Well, I’m back fresh from the Psych Unit.  It wasn’t what I expected, but better than I feared.   I don’t feel different as a person, but I am not in the same place I was…which is better.  I’ll write a little more of my experience when I’m not so tired.  (feeling a little spent right now)  I wish everyone to keep fighting and stay with us.  We are better with you than without you. (I did learn and do believe that)

As my days tick down i grow a little nervous, but at the same time relieved that my suffering will soon come to an end.  I’m starting to feel the emotional pain of those left behind and what they will feel.  But I’m really not close to my family and have no kids so they will recover just fine. i think they will understand that my mental illness has been too much and the future looks grim. I’m wrapping up final details here and there.  tomorrow I get dog his bordetella vaccine so he can be boarded for 3 days till my father picks him […]

Hello, this is my first post & I’m going to share my story with you.

When I was 16 I married my husband, & on my 18th birthday I found out he was cheating on me. I kept quite. I loved him. I’m 21 now & a couple months ago I found out he has a family with a woman almost twice my age. I’m pregnant but I haven’t told him because I found a letter he was going to give me saying he was going to leave me for her. I’ve swallowed all of this along with it my pride, & I’ve had it. […]

I’m done feeling this hurt and pain inside me… October 16, 2012 R.I.P. Tasha Jenay Thomas

Hi, I’m Tasha Jenay Thomas. And I’m a freshman in high school. School this year is a big change for me. I have friends… Just not in my class. There’s this girl who torture’s me with her mean looks and her mean doing’s. She talks crap behind my back like an immature person would do. She plays varsity on the volleyball team and she has a lot of friends. She thinks everyone likes her which everyone hates her. She always has to get the other girls to gang up on me and try to put me down. There’s this other girl who just moved here […]

How and where do I start this story?

Well I am 37 years of age and have nothing to show for life, I am homeless and broke and I am honestly at the point where I cant take any more.

Over the last 5 years I have been diagnosed with ME/CFS which I fight everyday, I have had a marriage breakd down, I have had a miscarriage to deal with, an abortion I knew nothing about. Redundancy, attempted suicide, break down of another relationship, my parents disowned me now I am homeless and broke. I also think I may have an alcohol problem as I cant get through a day […]

People walk on by than offer you there hand

They pretend to have never seen you to avoid your pit of despair

They see what they set out to see but never what they find

They turn their back before they take a knee

All I get is an ear and a judgement, rather than an understanding

They enjoy there triumphs rather than help burden my pain

I look away before you see the pain behind my eyes

I cry rather than talk, as I walk alone so not to be rejected

I’d rather be lonely than to be held so that I won’t be hurt again

I would rather die than to face […]

To everyone still complaining about how much attention Amanda Todd is getting: let’s talk about what this is really about.

Jealousy.

You’re jealous that in death, she is getting more attention than you in life.

Get over yourselves.

*** ** MAJOR amendment to this thread!!! VERY IMPORTANT! Scroll down to my last post. It will save you A LOT of trouble! Seriously!!!! *******

I’ve figured it out! I feel like celebrating! I’m so happy and relieved!
In my heart of hearts, I believe people should be allowed the dignity and respect of deciding how long they live. To me, what drives a person to end their life is the devestating part; that profound suffering and internal unending pain. But not the actual suicide; that’s freedom.

For example, I recently had to have […]

Because Birthdays are supposed to be special, the make me feel more empty.

People always do nice things with their friends. I dont have anyone to do nice things with, even if I wanted.

The only people who have congratulated me were the ones here. That is just pathetic.

You would think there would be at least one person in my actual life that gives a shit.

In other news: my D-day is coming soon and I feel like I still need to do so much. But what? I mean really, there is not much I need to do before offing myself. I am a cowardly ****. If I […]

I am extremely unhappy. Whereas a few days ago I had a little bit of hope and miniscule amounts of positive energy, these last 48 hours I have been depleted. My heart has slowed and my body has sunken in.

I am terrified. Today in class I could hardly breathe. I tried to duck out before it started but I ran into the professor. I could barely speak and I was trying not to get sick the whole time. Electric stomach, glass eyes. I had to wait in the building before leaving to go back to my room because I couldn’t handle the idea of people […]

My dad committed suicide. He hung himself. These are awful words to say and I can never, ever get the image out of my head, my dad had cancer, awful cancer, he had a reason. There is no other reason to do this to your family or yourself. I miss him with every second that passes. Damn it, I want my dad back…now, I want to call him. No matter what you are or what you are going through, someone wants to talk to you. Don’t do this to someone. I loved my dad, I still do. No moment passes that I don’t love him. […]