i had the worst time sleeping last night, i woke up every hour I had a headache and i was feeling like i wanted to puke all night i am shaking today i have dry mouth all because of my attempt i made yesterday… i want to rip my hair out and scream i can’t stand it… i want to die but all that happens is we are sick then dying when we try to commit suicide……….
I feel lost and alone no matter where i turn..someone once told me dat god gives d toughest struggles the strongest..but im tired of fighting, im tired of pushing back, i just don’t have it in me anymore.. maybe if life was different..but its not.. Im in never ending cycle.. My one wish is to go to bed 2night..and never wake up..
If you feel like suicide because of how life is, I understand. This world is full of liars and corruption, people telling you that your problems are self created, and that you are somehow too lazy or unwilling to fix them. This is untrue. Since you were born, the NEW WORLD ORDER has sought to indoctrinate you, through TV, school, and even the radio. Everything works opposite to what it should. The wars of the world all happen by design, to allow the filthy rich and powerful to profit. 9-11, JFK murder, and the London bombings were inside jobs. If anything, fight the NEW WORLD […]
Now before I start, this isn’t a story about how I’m depressed or anything, but, in fact, I’m not depressed anymore, well at least not as much, thanks to you guys. I want to return the favor. Right now I’m working on a project (movie) that will help others just like you and me, struggling to get by day by day, and I need YOUR help. I want a video of YOU telling your story, your story of struggle, but also, telling us what makes you happy, what keeps you going, or even a video of you doing what you love to do, whether its […]
Well I’m 14 years old, my name is Elise. If I go from the start it will be the longest story ever so I won’t, but my dad left us for no reason at all about 2 years ago. We dont have any contact with him whatsoever, its been about 9 months now, my mum got sick and was in hospital for 3 months neither dad or his family looked after my sister and I during that time so we stayed with friends which was horrible.
This year I started self harming and am now considering suicide. I planned it and all, I see a counsellor […]
Death.d truth is that.wen she left,i felt that death wld be my last resort.but guess what?i paid no visit to the reaper.i stand strong today.broke as i am.with a better girl in mind.
As I was reading an article about a particular monster of recent events who should not be named, something a former teacher of his said about him got to me. Selfish much? Well anyway. The teacher said that despite getting A’s in difficult subjects he was a second rate student.
This is an enormous fear of mine. Despite getting good marks in school I always feel inadequate. Perhaps I too am a second rate student who just tests well.
Fuck.
I don’t want to die, but…
There are times, last night for example, when it’s all I can do to hang on to whatever I can to keep from doing something I can never take back. Those nights where the blackness has swirled up around me to grasp at my throat and just choke the life out of me.
It’s a difficult thing to explain, but I’ll do my best. Here’s how I’ve described it to my therapists.
It’s like there are two people inside of me. There’s me, and then there’s the dark me. We’ll call the ‘me’ that’s okay #1 and the dark me #2. #1 […]
the truth is that..i still feel this way all the time.i dont have a girlfriend i can afford..i cant afford to even kal a girl that just acceptd my proposals i am as broke as a dinosaurs fossil.i am sliding into depression jst from making this comment.a girl once fainted in my arms at home.but i couldnt afford the simplest form of transportation around this parts,i couldnt get her to the hospital or anything.i was called a curse to the economy.i can hardly afford my meals so i am staying with my parents,this to a great lenght have stopped me from being who i am,truth […]
While I share a variety of similar issues and reasons for being depressed than most of you here; I’ve recently come to realize that as time has gone by, one of the main reasons for me wanting to die has become, as shallow but sincere as it sounds: PRIDE. Yes. Before this crisis (I’ve had many) started I used to be looked up to and even though I paid a very high price to mantain an image of myself that wasn’t quite real, I felt semi-comfortable and semi-proud to be there. But now, ever since people have learned about my failure, the girl is no […]
i had been living alone for 6 years until i got a dui awhile back, which snapped the thin monetary thread id been hanging by, so i had to move in with my mom..i’m almost 30 and i am very lonely. im very short and not particularly good looking so im unable to attract a mate. and presently relized by being short, ugly, broke and living at home as well as kinda old and less experienced , that its very likely ill never meet anbody and be alone all my life(having a family was a big desire of mine). id been on many dating sites for […]
shhh I’m a cutter. Don’t tell. It’s socially unacceptable that I express pain.
Depression is like a tornado, there’s nothing you can do but sit and wait, and finally when the storm is over…you are left with the destruction. The scars on your body, the puffy eyes from crying, the exhaustion of fighting a losing battle. It’s consuming.
so now if i cut..my bf says he’ll hit me….WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! why does he acts like this…he used to help me stay on a positive path..now cuz of him…im crying now and i cry always…if i wasnt terrified of pissinghim off. id cut myself til i bleed to death…but my mind decides to live in emotional torture… i rather die.
I never planned to use a gun, CO poisioning was always my escape plan. I always thought drinking was why I was depressed, but since I stopped drinking, I started eating healthy and lost 30 lbs, but I still feel I’m not in control of my life, depressed, so I started drinking again. I have bought a few guns to prove to myself that I wouldn’t use them to end my life. I justify keeping one of them loaded in a locked box since my house has been broken into, but I know I like having that exit so close to me. It’s unlocked and right where I can […]
I wish I could discreetly mark certain people so I remember to avoid talking to them and not rescue them from a house fire. Plus the rest of the world could benefit from knowing the shitheads and emptyheads from the semi decent folk.
But alas, I cannot.
no..i dont mean this in abad way and im not supporting depression as a positive thing..theres nothing good about it. BUT, look at us!? we HAVE and CONTINUE to go through so much! yet here we are…fighting through each day, some good days happen..keep the picture moving bad days come and we stop. so here we are day by day reliving the same torture repeatedly! why would we do that??? life sux right? BUT we were made to be strong. and no one is stronger then we are..we’ve had it all..and we continue to fight…keep moving everyone..life just may get better for us ALL:) look […]
Any female out there with not much to live for feel like talking ? I just dont feel like talking to a fucking dude while my life slips out…looking to speak to someone similar. No religious shit please.  – Chris    pokerbeatdown@gmail.com
sOO my life has gotten extremely glamorous. deferred from college on medical absence to deal with my depression. omg im so effing cool. but really, last thing my rapist said to me was i hope you kill yourself or one of your eating disorders kill you. YAY. i swear, i sound like such a trip. it’s just exasperating that i have so much baggage and i’m so young. i want to be young and free and live my prime and instead i’m back at home trying to recover from my PTSD while all my other issues reman unresolved. honestly, i dont even give a flying […]
So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]