I can’t stand my own thoughts right now. I know that I want to move on and be able to live without her, but I can’t bring myself to believe that I will ever want another person. Every time I try to convince myself that I can have a life with somebody else she always comes back to my mind. I’ve never had these difficulties with anyone. I’ve never had any difficulty letting another girl go when the time came. This one just was so perfect. I mean, she had her flaws but I loved every one just the same. She exceeded everything I could […]

I’ve been handling things so well lately.
But tonight everything fell to pieces.  I can’t stop crying, which is odd for me. I hardly ever cry.
I’m trying my best not to cut myself but it is getting to the point that i am craving it, i need it so much that i feel like my heart is going to explode.

I need to hurt myself! I want to die so much.
These comments are so generic but  i don’t know any other way to express myself right now. My mind is so jumbled.

I hate this so much.

Die, die die.

I don’t understand.

I’m employed, healthy, and I can deal with people most of the time, but I still don’t want to live. Why? I feel like I don’t even deserve to have feelings like this. That I just need to get over it. I don’t enjoy doing anything anymore. I made plenty of changes in my life, hoping that something might flip the switch and I could enjoy being me. I moved out of my parents, started making new friends, started dating guys again, got a job in the new city, and tried to stop worrying about so many things.

But I still don’t want to […]

Of course nobody read my first post… im new on this website but of course theres comments on every post but mine… once again i open up and theres nobody to listen…. im so done trying to talk about the way i feel. Maybe everything would be better without me here. Or the same since nobody really aknowledged that i was there anyways…

All my life ive been used, abused& hurt. Ive been treated like i dont mean anything. Its been like that since i can remember. When i was in my moms stomach she would drink and do drugs and still smoke. She didnt care. Shes never cared. She cheated on my dad all the time and treated him like nothing. She would leave and stay gone for short periods of time. She lost her good job for the state because shed rather go outand drink. When i was a baby and my little sister was a newborn my mom decided to kidnap us. Yes aparent can […]

During the summer my depression was able to chill out a bit, but now that school is about to start for me I am starting to really worry that it will come back full force… I have no friends at my school as I am anti-social and have social anxiety, a few people have tried to become friends with me but those are only really immature kids, or it could just be me rejecting people for some reason that I can’t explain.

I’m a complete mess and its really embarrassing, I’m always tripping over my own feet, or on the stairs, or I say stupid things […]

She walks with her head down

No one cares enough to see her perpetual frown

She has created an illusion

In which people only see her grin.

Inside her soul is on fire

LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

Her spirit is slowly dying

She is always CRYING.

She silently screams for the world to hear

But they turn a deaf ear

And a blind eye

and so she whispers good-bye

Good-bye to all the people that never cared about her

And with one last stir

She cuts the knife deep into her skin and DIES.

i found this website today and made an account and so here i am telling you my story after my parents split up when i was 8 and i moved to California i would still visit my dad in Arizona on breaks and holidays from school. When i went into 6th grade my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer it had spread to his bones and needed to start chemo right away he did and then there was no trace of the cancer. Towards the end off my 6th grade year it all came back he was fighting and doing everything he could […]

I tried to be happy[ish] and stop putting myself  down so much, but it didn’t really work out. I was relatively happy for about 3 months, but I don’t think I was happy at all. I forced myself to not think anything bad, and I would always push a ‘bad’ thought out of my mind as soon as it appeared. It was mentally tiring, I guess. So I gave up. If I am to be happy, I want it to be real and not me just being in denial. So now I’m back to being depressed. Although I have to say I am a lot […]

I’m done, I want to die already.

I’ve said my prayers to my god in heaven, so I don’t know if I’ll go to heaven or hell, I guess it’s his choice.

I’m ready.

Is there a quick easy way to go? I’m tired of pain and I’m dead inside.

I can only hope I’ve helped some people here.

I don’t have any pills or anything to help the process, please help.

i have the bestest friend in the world. ive had a few best friend before but he out rules everyone. sure i cant just walk over to him cuz he lives to far..sadly. but so what? the one thing i dont get is that after all i put him through with my multiple (some near fatal) suicide attempts he’s still by my side. he is the biggest reason i can still breathe to this day..i have moment when i fall but he pulls me back up eventually. without him id be screwed over maybe even dead..my best friend is the one of the best […]

So I was wondering if my tendency to hurt myself could be considered a positive or at least non-negative behavior. I have been in many situations where I was prepared to commit suicide, but I started cutting or punching myself. The pain always ended up overriding my will to go through with the suicide and I just continued until I was left crying myself to sleep. I can’t think of how many times the cuts and bruises have saved my life. I am so confused on whether I should be happy that hurting myself has saved me or not.

I am at the lowest i have ever been in my life. Sad to say, but i am starting to understand why people kill themselves. I am so depressed and can’t seem to shake it off. Im 27, a broken engagement sent me over the edge. I let any relationship im in consume my entire life and im never happy anyway because i cant seem to trust any man and end up being a crazy ***** for my insecurities. Im in love with a drug addict/alcoholic. He is a horrible person. He lies, steals, embarrasses me and doesnt work, but yet im completely addicted to […]

Woke up in the emergency room this morning, and can’t remember the night before. Apparently I made another attempt. that brings my total to 14. This has to end.

Why am I so obsessed with death?

One last breathe

Pull it in deep
One more pill
To put me to sleep
25
26
swallow it quick
This pain is restraining
I can’t keep on waiting
I’m lost and confused
I’m done trying to choose
It’s the finale goodbye
The last farewell
I’ll met you all
In that place called hell

For those who might care.I’m finaly done installing myself into what is gonna be my new home for at least 3 years(unless I off myself).I am now all alone in the city of Sudbury in Ontario.The isolation is crushing.I wandered this new house for about an hour because I had no idea how I should pass my time.This week of bliss where I was to busy to think is done and I’m struggling to occupy my mind.

In about a week my college studies are gonna start.I wonder if everyone is gonna be shit like where I lived or if I’m actualy going to meet some […]

there is so much i have to say and i don’t really know where to begin… so i’ll try to start from the beginning. i don’t really remember ever being very happy. i spent the first five years of my life with a father who did and sold drugs all the time and when and if he came home he was abusive towards my mom. i don’t remember this but my mom told me that he pushed her down the stairs when she was pregant with my youngest brother. we never really had much money because my mom couldn’t work with all of us being […]

I’ve been on here for a few days and I’ve posted some advice… Now it’s my turn, I think.

I’ve been struggling with these thoughts since the end of my sixth grade year. This was when separations between people occurred. I was pushed the outer most edge of the world. I was bullied, and to defend myself, to make myself look tough, I bullied back. I was by myself, I hardly had a friend. When I had chicken pox and was gone for almost a month… nobody noticed I was gone. Except the teacher… of course…

Seventh grade came around and I was at a new school. […]

damn it father you should understand…

i don’t trust therapists

i deal with my shit my way.

i am not spending your money, my money or anyone elses money on that piece of crap.

if i want to be left alone,

then respect that

never remind me of that crap

FORGIVE

everyone including yourself

FORGET

every memory that you hold dearest to

They are nothing but a past

A hopeless dream

A past that is dead

Like everyone says

Move On…

All I could hear are those two breaking news

Let go…

Give up…

Forget…

Just erase the memory from your mind