Depression, social anxiety, idk what else. I cut, I’m lost and hopeless, living on the thought that life amuses me a little.. killing myself would mean I don’t get to be “entertained” anymore. Entertained… more like watching a miserable world do it’s thing. I don’t even feel like me, I feel like someone outside of me, watching in. I don’t care to much anymore.. but I hate attention, I hide everything, that’s all I really care about anymore, is getting away. I’ve lost hope, I don’t know about my future, which everyone pressures me on that I should know.. I don’t know, I’m done trying […]
I have OCD , anxiety , depression and partial bipolar. I have homicidal and suicidal thoughts , constantly. Im some what of misanthropy. I can’t see any reason to live anymore. Im kinda just dragging myself threw the days. Fake a smile once in awhile. I use to cutt, I crave cutting every second of the day. Its hard to talk to people, because it’s like no one cares. And I honestly don’t know what todo with myself. I wanna fall asleep tonight and not wake up.
I don’t get how god could save some one from suicide. Seems pretty negligent to let someone who you love get that depressed in the first place. An all powerful loving god would save them from themselves before he saves them from suicide. This god is not all loving. I actually wonder if there is a god, then maybe he enjoys our suffering and pain. A sadistic god would make sense considering the world he created.
I don’t know what to do anymore!! I am so lost and alone! I don’t think my husband loves me anymore, and that just makes it all much worse, than it already is! I’m so angry all the time, but I can’t stop crying! He says he loves me. but for some reason, I can’t believe it, I don’t understand why! I’ve been hurt so much,can’t take it anymore, the pain is unbearable! Somewhere deep down i know it, but I can’t trust it, I can’t trust anyone, never have been able to. He’s the only man that hasn’t given me a reason not to […]
just like always.
Let me tell you a secret,
For a secret is the same as a lie,
It hurts and destroys those who are forced to keep it,
The secret may as well be a lie, because you are ashamed to tell the truth, you hide and hide until you can hide no more.
The truth can make a whole world collapse,
Can cause unnessesary pain and suff ering but perhaps not as much pain as the secret held.
The monsters and demons that firm that make you spiral into darkness with visions thst make you believe that suicide is the only way you can break […]
Just a reminder nbarules is a mor(m)on and tries to make people here feel worse. Hey nba http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x_-IoeSB-A&feature=related seriously!
I know why a caged bird sings
To get through the moments of pain
To drown out the ache of sorrow
I know why the caged bird smiles
Because it’s dreaming of a better day
While unaware all around it is crumbling
It’s cage is old and the latch is rusted shut
I know why the caged bird dances
To keep rhythm with the notes
To rock the cage unknowingly
To free the latch from its’ hold
I know why the caged bird is silent
The door is open
Something is waiting
A hand reaches out
Seed in the old palm
The bird goes for the bait
It coos […]
Dose anyone else feel like they have so much to say yet you always repeat the same story/feelings?
too happy, too depressed, too tired, and too hyper, so weird i can feel all of that right now. wells i guess its better than complete sadness XD :/ XD :/
Hey, I haven’t been on in awhile (you guys probably haven’t noticed) but I just wanted to say hey. What have you guys been up to? How are you doing? If you want to talk, email me at kenzie.fallenangel33@gmail.com or I have a facebook Kenzie Mack. I’m always here to listen, sometimes you just want someone to listen and try to understand. If you just want to talk, I’m here.
I’m 14 years old. I feel suicidal, but no-one knows that its this bad. They just thing I’m dark and depressing. I have been wanting to commit suicide for so long, but I can’t. Because…
I can’t leave my family behind. I love them, and I don’t even see half of them that much, so any time at all I have with them is rare. I don’t want to leave them wondering and feeling upset.
I’m being selfish, thinking about suicide, and not how my friends or family would feel if I went through with it.
And also… I’m scared. What happens when we die? […]
It’s hard to believe what have I become. There is nothing left but disgraceful rotting remains. It’s sad, I remember I was somebody not so long ago. I’d like to apologize for my presence here. I have a strong feeling I am only contamination for this site. God, I am so dead, so fucked up.
It’s funny not many people ask about my scars. But today someone i worked with saw them and asked. I actually stumbled over my words. I didnt know how to answer. Reading back over that, not funny. But you all know what i mean. Anyway I made some excuse about them being caused by me fallig off a motorbike at my cousins house. Which i do have one scar from. On my thigh. I know she didnt beleive me because of how they are positioned and some are new. And the fact that I told her it was nothing to start off with. Any suggestions […]
im living a loners life. i use to have a bunch of friends but after high school we all departed away and also all my area friends have a spat with me…so im just living a lonely life…with fake smile….i do not go out at all and always infront of my pc…i dont respect my elders and also had a spat with my sibling and we are not talking with each other for nearly 8 months on, i forgot to smile and also loose my ability to converse with people all my friends and relatives are going out of my life….i have never talk to […]
Why is it so hard to accept me the way I am…
I’m awkward,weird and have the strangest of haircut.I didn’t know that was so unforgivable.I’m just tired of putting on that fake personality,that fake smile.It’s almost a natural reflexe now.Every time I’m finaly able to be myself(wich is a RARE occurence),people just avoid me.It’s been like that since kindergarden.Am I that repulsing?
I’m tired of speacking to myself.
Tired of crying alone.
Tired of feeling like I was a shadow.
I feel so worthless,alone in this sea of people just passing by me unless I say what they want.I’ve never been able to find the place I can call […]
Nobody understands why cutting is an addiction. Nobody understands why when I’m angry or sad, my first thought it to bleed, my next is to feed my drug addiction. Nobody understands that I’d be able to quit drugs easier than I would be able to quit cutting. I wrote this last night in hopes of trying to eliminate the confusion. I hope this poem is acknowledged.
Have you ever been hurt?
But I don’t mean for real.
I mean the kind that can’t be seen,
the kind only you can feel.
You keep it to yourself
the feelings you’ve come to accept.
But still, every time […]
“Step one you say we need to talk,
he walks, you say sit down it’s just a talk,
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through”
If only they would listen…
If only I could go back in time, to that night. Cherry. She jumped off the roof of a hospital. She drank until she found courage to swallow those pills. Called the cops on herself. That is what amazes me the most. Why had she called the cops? Why? If she was just going to go and jump off that building? I just want to go back in time, know […]
Rusted veins..
Shallow pain..
So much shame..
Regret..
Feelings of loss
Feelings of change..
Am i to blame..
My thoughts and desires..
Burn in this fire..
Never again will i love..
Your face..
Your embrace..
My heart stops..
Bloods gone..
My hands are red..
Is she dead?
No..
Not her..
Shes… not here..
I am weak..
My life is bleak.
Tonight she died..
Not in reality..
In her head.
She died in mine