I’m tired of being alone, laughed at, made fun of , name called, and taken as a joke. I hate my life so much. I shed a tear at least once every day. Probably more…

I’m sorry I couldnt be perfect. I’m sorry I could be pretty or skinny like Daisy and Danielle. I’m sorry Im ugly , fat and  pathetic.

I never get to be happy. There hasn’t been one time since I was 11 when I was fully and truly happy. Bad shit always happens to me and not the fucked up people who really deserve it. I’m always there for everybody. But when […]

4th of July is in two days, that’s the day i had planned to end it all. I have this amazing guy who walked into my life and makes thinks better but life is still hard. I stooped taking my meds bcz i wanted to think clearly on whether i would go trough with my plans or not. I still have no idea of what im going to end up doing. My boyfriend does not make it easier on me. He knows all about it and he does not want to lose me, he said he can see himself marrying me in the future. I […]

i cant stand that he still gets to walk around. he still gets to drink his beer sit on his fat ass walk around like he owns everyone spend all day on the computer stalking people on facebook. i cant stand that he will never be held accountable for the hell he made me experience and for ruining my life. all i feel is a very deep hatred that goes beyond what my body can contain. i hate having to see him. i wish i would never see him again. the problem is that my mother is still married to him and i love and […]

When I see movies or commercials or websites that ‘help’ people with depression, I cry. Because I believe that only some people can get out of this horrible fucking mess and be happy. I call them ‘The Lucky Ones’. I don’t dare believe that everyone can get out. It’s sad, but it’s true. I mean, I’m never going to get rid of my depression. And I sure don’t want to take pills to try to make it go away. The pills will just make me a fucking empty doll. I rather the pain than nothing at all. I’m going to die this way. Maybe whoever’s […]

well the other day my friend and I were talking about self harm. She said that reopening wounds was a form of self harm but I said no its just curiosity well I’m here asking people opinion about it.
Is it really considered self harm?

This stupid girl who has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Shes been depressed..or so she says. Whenever she was offered to get help though she refused it. I recently saw on her facebook that she keeps complaining about how alone she is, her depression taking over. Then she started talking about how  Her friend said so you like being depressed? Why dont you get help? And she said I love the way I am right now.

If you are so depressed..yet you love it. Your not depressed in my opinion. Im sure there are exceptions, but she just seems like an […]

I don’t think I will amount to anything. I feel as though, there is no hope for me. With my condition, no one will stay around enough to love me. I drive everyone away. I can’t find people to love me and stay by my side to help me through this. I am at a loss…I feel like I amount to nothing. I am being selfish. I know there will be people who will need me if I stay alive, but…there’s reason to die. Everyone I loved, I drove away. I am harsh when I’m upset. I hate myself afterwards. I can’t decide if I […]

”Life is not easy for any of us.But what of that?We must have persevernce and above all confidence in ourselves.We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be atteined.”-Marie Curie

Too bad I don’t have confidence in myself…Can’t find my purpose,something to give meaning to my life;I don’t believe I’m gifted for anything and that is very sad 🙁

I’m just a depressed girl;All I do is complain over and over again.I know,I’m pathetic.

”Be thankful for what you have you’ll end up having more.If you concentrate on what you don’t have,you will never ever have enough.”-Oprah  Winfrey

Things would be better if […]

I’m exhausted, I don’t feel like I can keep going. My fiance broke my heart a couple of months ago and today he told me he is happier without me. For me every day gets worse. I have been through too much, this was supposed to be my happy ending. I can’t just try again because life is shit and it always ends badly.

If I didn’t have kids I would have done this years ago, now they live with their dad almost full time and are well taken care of. I am too much of a pathetic mess to be anything good for them […]

Ok he did it. He cracked the surface. I broke down this morning. Walking a long hot walk to the bus stop and my brother wouldn’t listen to me begging him to stop messing with me, touching me and verbally abusing me. So I broke. I know there were people on the other sidewalk watching and I wish they weren’t but I started screaming “LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP DON’T TOUCH ME! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! JUST STOP PLEASE!” and covered my ears and crouched for a moment and started walking home. Of course I turned back around and walked to the bus […]

So many things have changed in the past year I don’t know what the hell happened. Yes, I have made some friends now that I probably would have had before now. But.. My old friends.. I kinda miss them. I miss being able to talk to them about anything. They were honestly amazing people. Well, until they all turned into back stabbers. But,before they were that though, I could call them in the middle of the night if I needed anything. I don’t have that now. I have “friends.” I even call a few my “best friends,” I don’t have the strength nor the trust […]

I don’t know what it’s like to be grounded. I wish I did though. I hear my classmates complain to each other about how unfair their parents are for grounding them, not letting them have a cell phone, or just saying no to them. It seems so small. My parents dont say no. They don’t ground me, and they don’t take a tiny thing like an iPod away from me. They grab me, yell at my face until I’m a shaking mess, and then hit me all over. I remember one day going to class and being unable to concentrate from the pain my body […]

I don t feel like talking with anybody but yet i came here. Nothing bad recently happened i just don t feel the same. Everything is just so ordinary and unimportant and i can t find anything that satisfies me. I clearly got off the tight track again. without no particular reason. I was out yesterday and i got drunk, pretty pathetic but i do it every now and then to feel better or to forget things but i guess it has the opposite effect now. Anyway i was annoyed with something small which i don t even remember now. i took my things and […]

Anyone who ever needs to talk I’m here most of the time <3 you can add me on blackberry messenger if you want to290B9951 🙂

I should start off by saying I may not be someone anyone should look to for guidance or good advice. I am a survivor of a serious suicide attempt and many days are still a struggle for me.

I haven’t read through the site enough to determine if it’s a place where most of the posters are dealing with suicidal thoughts and mental health issues or if there is a large percentage of people who are in a good place mentally and are offering up advice. It seems to be a combination of both, with the earlier making up for most of the content.

Nonetheless, […]

Okay,here goes.

My names murron mackay,incase you hadn’t guessed by my username, and today I was searching on the internet about getting help on being suicidal, and I stumbled on this website. I had a look through and thought I would add my story. It’s nothing huge, infact compared to most of the stories on here, it’s like nothing. But anyway, in a nutshell, here is my story.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a family, a roof over my head and even a boyfriend, and i know what you’s are all thinking, ‘Selfish *****’ etc etc..But before you judge, please read this blog and hear me […]

From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.

When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]

Okay guys update on how I am today I suppose:
Well last night my mother called 911 on me, she said I needed help and I was too fucked up for her to be taking care of. The ambulance and paramedics arrived at my house and I was taken against my will to the hospital. I am hooked up to this life support machine, I was told that if my mother hadn’t called I would be as good as dead.. They have put me back on my antidepressants and I’m under constant surveillance if its not family its “friends” or doctors.
Yeah well I feel […]

You ever look at people around you and wonder “whats going on with me” ever wonder why your sad, lonely, why people you trust leave you, i do, i had a friend we were close and we kinda liked each other then he got a girlfriend stop talking to me, an we still tlk i guess but not the same, never the same he has new friends, an me, well am alone i should have known to keep my life to myself ,now i feel invaded, i feel like everyone knows me, i feel stupid, i feel alone in a world full […]

All I am is nothing, all I have is nothing. I am 35 now I was first dyagnosed with severe depression and potentually suicidal at age10. Freeing myself from this pathetic exictence is all I think of all day everyday.
Suicide is all I have ever seen myself accomplishing in life in my 20’s I used to tell myself that I would wait and maybe life or myself would prove me wrong, but all that has happened is my belief that I have but 1 option is proven more and more a truth then anything else.