anyone live in Idaho?

There’s so much misery here, but it’s so nice outside. Things aren’t as they say in the paper and on the news. There are no bombs or psycho killers; just people trying to get by.

Why don’t I have anything to say… uhhhhh, I’m so confused right now. I’m hungry, have some broccoli and half a cucumber in the fridge, eggos in the freezer, apple on my table, but I don’t want any of it. I don’t want to move. Some stupid part of me thinks that if I sit here looking stupefied and feeling like a bag of crap for long enough, I’ll simply cease […]

Amy, its been 3 years since your passing and I want to leave you a message but never knew where without being ridiculed and questioned whether or not I’m not ok. I was thinking of the day we me so young and carefree I was hopeless and depressed when you met me. That changed so quickly I suddenly had purpose for everything I had a reason to like myself and to like the world around me. I still have your glasses from freshman year safely perched next to the last picture of us, the last time I didn’t fake my smile, the last time […]

Who am I kidding?? I’ll never be OK

I am the Slave of Depression. This must be the main thing that made me this way

Anyway I’ve  always had a dose of craziness in me…Why can’t I be happy?Everyone around me knows  how sad and unhappy I am but they don’t give a damn.They even make things worse

I need a miracle! I don’t wanna be like this anymore  

wells, today, actually every thursday in the summer means a break from my sisters’ demands, since she will be at a friends, but instead i decide to speed on my bike and flip right over it, now my legs is torn and it hurts just to stand this isnt much of a problem except i was supposed to hang with friends (rare, very rare) the one day i get out im forced to sit on the couch all day…grrrr this is fucked.

…about life, the universe and everything, send me a mail at

anon46 [.at.] lavabit [.dot.] com

I’ve got various instant messaging accounts, but I prefer plain old e-mail or google talk.

If you happen to live nearby (although that is highly unlikely), I’d even go out with you for a coffee…

I’m so sick. Everyone wants me dead. Why do I keep trying to find someone to hold on to? Noone will ever care about me. I can’t keep the happy face anymore, it’s just too much. Everytime that I show someone the agony inside they’re like “Run for the hills”. I will always be alone. Noone could ever love a stupid loser like me. I thought that I could help if I would talk to people around here. But how could a fuck up like me ever help anyone when I can’t even help myself? Everyone is going to be better without me. Nobody will […]

Hello people of SuicideProject.
I’ve been a long time lurker, and this is my first post.

I know there are many kinds of people here.
Young, old, intelligent, poor, mentally ill…

You all have your reasons why you want to leave this world.
But one of the reasons I keep hearing the most is something like:
“I am a complete loser/fuckup and I am unlovable person”.

I have to tell you – that’s probably not true.
And do you know why?

Have you ever thought how many people there are who are much more stupid, much more ugly, and much more fucked up than you are?
Have they ever […]

I haven’t posted anything in a while, while I have been reading others posts and commenting I really have nothing to say as far as myself. I posted that I was entering a manic state, but now I’m not so sure. I have bipolar 2 so I don’t experience intense mania. I have sperts on and off of whats called hypomania. Less intense but still manic and comes with a harsh crash back to reality soon after. So for the last 6 days or so I have been calm, cool, and collected.

I woke up and realized I was completely over my ex and my depression […]

Does anyone else feel happy for a couple of days then just sit down, look at a wall and think “I’m not ok anymore..” then just get really tired?

I Feel Lost, Confussed, BreathLess, & Its It’s Getting Harder To Right Down How I Feel Because I Can Never Find The Exact Words To Explain Any Of My Feelings, I Have Such A Great Life And A Loving Family But Yet This Feeling Always Seems To Creep Up On Me,..Honesly I Dont Know Where Or How Ima Go On With This…..

As a child, I used to idealize the world and humans .. I knew there were people with bad intentions, but my then-gullible-self believed the majority of us were working to make this world a place where one can feel alive most of the time (a better place) .. I used to see light and darkness wouldn’t have me shaken for too long .. I had  genuine hope for the future (not that forced hope you’re expected to create)

From adolescence to when I dropped out, illusions had evaporated one after the other .. truth is people are overly concerned with improving their own situation, humans […]

My parents dont give a shit about me, or how I feel about anything. Only that I get good grades. If i get any less than a A they scream and shout at me and take away the only things I enjoy-My xbox, and laptop. I only enjoy these, because when I play games I can escape to another world. I have tried to kill myself three times already… One time one of my parents saw me trying and didnt even bat an eyelid. They couldnt have cared less. The only people I care about in the world are my friends.. And even they are […]

I hope everyone who sees this reads it, I am no one special, I’m an 18 year old girl with so much baggage. When I was 15 I met this guy & at first I didn’t let him in didn’t trust him or love him, but at some point my guards came down & I let him in, September 27, 2009 was our day and it all ended after a year & a half. Imagine me vulnerable & alone. In love with someone who promised me the world. Said he fucking loved me forever and ever and always and eternity. Then one day he didn’t […]

i chewed up a tiny little bit of my finger with my table saw.  turns out they weren’t kidding when they said it was dangerous.  it’s strange having some real discomfort.  it’s a weird break from all this imaginary stuff.

My wife of 7 years left 3months ago and it still feels like the first day.she has a new bf wich she says shes in love with now.that
realy fucked me up.realy bad.the thought of them holding hands or kissing kills me and the thought of them makeing love makes me physicly ill i want to vomit.each day i pray all day to die and i even try about a month ago.thay put me in the hospital for about a week and i had to lie and tell them i wouldnt try again so thay would let me out.we have 4 year old son […]

Poem I wrote (but I do have anorexia)

It makes us lie. People die.
Anorexia is it’s name.
No food today.
I wonder what I weigh.
Fat is all I can see….
Why can’t my family leave me be.
I’m disgusting, revolting…
I carved the word ‘fat’ into my skin.
I’m screaming but no one is listening.
‘Save me’ I scream…
Please let this just be a bad dream…
Anorexia has consumed me, PLEASE
just realize this isn’t me and see.

things are so messed up.. when you post something to try and help people and only get negative comments and then you just want to take it down.. so you do..

things are so messed up.. when you meet someone and they lead you on and they flirt and they say they only want to be with you.. then they tell you they have a girlfriend and wont talk to you again..

things are so messed up.. when your only way of coping is through cutting and pain.

i fake a smile every single day, and the moment where it slips, and  im questioned, i panic and say […]

Shhh theres fucktards nearby. Listen to them. They depress me too. I’m a fucking troll. Fuck you. I’m bored. Im depressed im tired im restless im angry im pissex im horny im a virgin. Fuck it I’m anything and everything but you. 

Theres my fucking poem. Im tired, my mouth hurts i dont want to mas-ter-ba-te at all today. I meed a shower i dont care about spelling rght now. Fuck you. I’m so bored. I might have multi person disorder bipolar depressed horny virgin shitty tired insomnia cant distinguish reality form memory nor dreams. My cousin jasmine whom i love so dearly broke up with […]