That shocked me. I’m not really suicidal, not really. I’m not brave enough to try. But my whole life, I’ve just been waiting to die. Because I don’t feel loveable. I feel like I exist just to bring misery to others, and that it’s my only purpose. My brothers called me Burden when I was little. I never wanted to be that. All I have ever wanted, my whole life, was for someone to look at me, and know me, from my charmingly crafted outer-persona to how I really feel, and just… Still like me. Still care about me. Every single person who I ever […]

the human species is a species I do not belong to, yet I am part of it

I feel like an alien soul that was dropped off on earth to observe humans,

and that my people have forgotten to come pick me up .. neglectful bastards

on one hand, I’m tired of routine: my days are too similar to not get bored

on the other hand, I find lots of comfort in knowing what to expect .. I’m bored to death but at least I feel safe

(safe from what ?)

I must be missing out on a lot of experiences by being very withdrawn

but since there’s a lot of deceit […]

So, I just stumbled apon this sight and I am finding everyone’s posts extremely interesting and relatable. To tell you about myself I’m a 16 girl and I don’t know I suspose I am depressed even though I tell myself everyday I’m not. I would very much like for my life to be over. I belive I have a mild addiction with self-harm. I have often felt very isolated, but I managed to find a friend I could talk to I could trust. He actually has very similar problems to me and it was really nice to share with someone who feels just the same […]

hello all, 2 months ago i have this thought, to killing my self, so first attempt was taking 2 anti depress pils in the morning before go to work, but i survived, my body can fight that ‘want to sleep’ feeling so my car not crashed. then i try to cut my arm, it really hurt, even before it’s bleeding. Then i stop.

But today that feeling come again, i feel powerless, hopeless, i want to make all my beloved ones happy, all of them are save, but in the end i feel, i don’t have that energy, the resources to make it all. It makes […]

I have been depressed before and had thoughts of suicide, but the fact is that in life, you go through phases and cycles.

Some things might seem today to be SO BAD that you cannot overcome them- yet down the track they will go away and you will be able to look back on today’s situation with NO EMOTIONAL REACTION.

The key is that you need to hold out for that future instead of giving up.

IF you are running a long distance race, you can’t just quit halfway because it seems too hard.  The race is hard and unpleasant, but the prize is at the end and only if you […]

3 of my closest friends left me, because all of a sudden my drinking and smoking and cutting is ruining their lives.  So now, because I won’t give those things up because I fucking can’t, they’re not talking to me anymore.  nd now I have legit 3 female friends, one of which I don’t even like that much, and my boys.  I know pretty soon that the boys will be all I’ve got.  But those girls I trusted with my everything, and all of them fucked me over.  If the people I trusted most in the world can leave me for something as stupid as […]

its two days away from my 21st birthday,i dont have any body,noone to celebrate it with,or go out to diner or lunch, just me and myself,what the fuck happened,i want to die so bad,im not gonna kill myself,whats the point if noone would care if i was dead either,you know when you once had such good memories that you cant even think about it,cause it kills you,and you didnt mean to ever ruin anything or hurt anybody,you were just young and damaged and screaming out for help,and nobody helped you,but it was ok,i was in a group home but i was actually happy for […]

Screams

Screams no one can hear
In the darkness there is silence and fear
The shouts uttered by a madman
Heard throughout the ward

He is the forgotten one
The one whose lost all hope
There’s nothing anyone can do
To help him cope with his pain

He talks to himself
His brain and body taking sides
Of his split personality:
One to live. One to die. 

The voices in his head
Tell him he should be dead
And half his will wishes to oblige
Yet the memories of his friends
Keep him moving to mend his life
And live another day. 

He’s got nothing left
Nothing left to hide

I hope nobody i know ever see it, and i hope that feeling will vanish soon.

But, it’s hard. Living unhealthy, unhappy, and lonely.Waking up, knowing the difficulties waiting ahead, the lack of stimulation, ….the limitations that my health imposes me.

Spending too much time at the hospital, in need to be fixed. Can i return that broken body of mine? I wish.

When i feel out of breath, when i can’t take it, i think of going, leaving, you know? Dying.

It’s not as i wanna take my life. It’s a feeling of…expecting, hoping, not to wake up .Wishful thinking.

Will my heart give up now? Tomorrow? Tic tac, […]

Here goes another post.

I’m Amber. I’m fourteen years old. I just finished my freshman year. I visit this website often & I take into consideration everything everyone posts on here. I feel like shit all of the time. I have severe depression & I sometimes don’t know how to control my emotions. I like to post on here to let all of my feelings out. I have been suicidal quite a few times. It’s probably the worst feeling in the world to sit there & cry & have nobody understand how hurt you are. I’ve been hurt ALOT. I always thought God […]