Again, everything falls to pieces.

I’m too depressed to even write.  I think I’ve given myself a fever from crying.

my best friend gave up on me. she was the only person who believed in me and now she dropped me. i have no job, no friends, my family hates me, i have horrible depression, horrible anxeity, LOW self estem, and i feel like a mistake. i dropped out of high school. what a loser. everyone thinks im easy because im old friends started rumors about me. noone likes me. im better off rotting in hell then living here, even though it seems like hell. i find myself crying myself to sleep everynight, because the girl i love loves some other boy. and she thinks […]

Wrong!
They all think im ok now, im getting better.. Im getting through this with positivity.. Thinking happy thoughts. Yup, thats me.. Changing back into the old Zoe.. Newsflash.. Its a lie, and your all believing it, in fact im the exact opposite of what I tell you.. Im actually getting worse! Im back to cutting every night again.. And the thoughts of me ending my life dont gO away.. I think of my funeral, who would go and who wouldnt.. The song that y family would choose.. How many would be surprised, and how many would feel sorry for anything they said or thought […]

I wrote this poem over 20 years ago.  It’s my favorite one I’ve ever written, and still rings true to me today.

               disenchanted

I searched for myself down in

the deep, dark jungle of

my soul,

and only found remnants of a time

long forgotten.

I wondered if I was the sole

survivor

of the plane crash of my

destiny,

or if I was just scattered among the

wreckage.

just got grounded, being ignored by my bf, really need to talk/advice?

Used to be a golden boy as a kid. Smart, witty, charming, and good at everything I put my heart into. Grew up with and angel for a mother, protective, affectionate, caring, and strong who always supported and provided for me and my brother being a single mother.
She had lost two husbands to death in her life. My dad being the second when I was 8.

Lived as a kid with undiagnosed adhd, which resulted in denial of authority at school getting into trouble due to lack of attention, interest and fooling around. I used make people laugh disturbing the class with my humour.

When I […]

I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future

but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life

I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..

as much as i wished for a “switch […]

alcohol and pills.

it seems too easy.

i don’t want to die.

but it’s too easy.

to just slip.

and after a few sips.

everything is gone.

and then it will be over.

and i won’t have to worry anymore.

and the numbness will be gone.

So I’m marissa. I’m 14 and my life sucks.

My mom is a workaholic and drinks all the time. I only see her for 5 minutes in the morning and one Saturday a month.

My step- father verbaly and (once) physhicaly abused me. I hate him. He treats his daughter like a princess and makes me do all the chours.

My step-sister is the biggest ***** ever she punches me and she’s only 7! She constantly goes into my room and fucks it up!

September 14, 2012 I lost my aunt to a battle of cancer, melanoma. Life hasn’t been the same since. I cry every night […]

There was always something inside of me saying I wasn’t good enough and that he would find someone else. I had the feeling deep down when he left that when he came back he would be different and that I wouldn’t be able to change that. I knew deep down that he didn’t love me and I was never really good enough. I was right, as usual. But I wish that this was a dream and I would wake up and see it was all fake. Somebody please shoot me because I can’t do this. Shoot me through the heart and put it out of […]

Apprehension. It describes my life in some ways.

Apprehensive about the future,

my secrets,

a crush,

the punishments,

and the pain…

I am most apprehensive on how I will survive the summer.

Full days shut in the house with my mum nowhere to go…

To be honest the thought scares me shitless….

I can’t breathe. Simple as.

I am so desperately lonely all the time that it hurts, it physically hurts. I’m a 22 years old girl, I’m a virgin, I’ve kissed 2 guys in my entire life. I don’t ever know if it’s guys I’m into, not like I’ll find out anytime soon because  I haven’t had enough experience to figure that part out yet.

I’ve been bullied since I can remember. I’m ugly, just genuinely not good looking, and it has been the reason behind my bullying. When I was 10 boys used to call me smash face. In class as a teenager people used call my […]

Here I am again. I don’t want to be here or anywhere else. I don’t want to keep going through this over and over and who fucking cares right… why should i. I can’t fucking take it anymore. The torment and the torture is back and I am alone again. So easy to help me yet… so hard for people to do.. Is it too much to ask? I don’t even know if this makes sense, b/c I am fucking crushed, sick, fuck who can blame anyone.. I’m tired of myself. I don’t want to stay. I don’t want to feel like […]

I’m scared of my mom’s reaction to my scars when I go to see her. I’m leaving in a few days and I’m just wondering if anyone has advice on how to adress this situation?

just a few days ago i came very close to killing myself… ive been in some very dark places lately, my boyfriend broke up with me over text message and ive been very broken down and in a lot of pain lately…its very hard fro me and with my depression and suicide problems i had enough going on so one night i just lost it. my best frienf taylor was at my house to talk me out of it. ive had so much going on i just didnt see the point in living anymore…al i wanted to do was die, go to sleep and never […]

I’m freaking out. I want something to wake me up. I want somebody to notice my lies. I want somebody to realize that I’m destroying myself. I want people to realize that I’m not okay.

I want to stop lying to myself. I want to stop thinking that it’s not okay to feel. I want to be able to cry and not feel like an ungrateful ****, because sometimes I don’t want to exist.

I want to remember what it is to be happy. I want to be able to smile and not those half-assed smiles that make me hate myself, because I know it isn’t real. […]

I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]

I am so selfish to keep trying to do what will eventually happen, by commiting suicide. I know there are people out there who have so much worse going onand have strentght o battle through, regret and hate myself more for what Ill put my family through, im such a horrible coward for doing this.

Women seem not to like me. Middle school all the way to now they have tormented me. They make fun of the way I walk, the way I look and the way I socialize with others. Now I have been raised around women. My mom and 2 of my 3 sisters were in my life and from them I have learned alot. I respect women and I open doors for all of them. I ask them how they are doing and how they are feeling. No matter how nice I am I never get anything but tormenting in return. There is a girl that makes me […]

I’ve had physical problems for a while (stomach and head) My stomach hurts all the time and my head always aches and I have constant dizziness and headaches . I’ve been to doctors and they find nothing. I’ve read a few places that built up anger and depression can cause physical problems. Is that true? Any experience? Also A few years ago I took around 100 tylenol and 50 asprin and realized that it was a bad method and went to the hospital, drank charcol ect. They said I didn’t damage my insides but I think my stomach had problems a month after that so […]