I almost made it 28 yrs ago when I felt the world had given up on me or maybe I had given up on the world i don’t know any more I was 24 just had my 3rd son and in my 2nd marriage my first one was abusive , I finally got out. now my husband had left me with a newborn . my family no help said i was crazy like my Grandma I cryed so much that no tears came any more just the empy feeling nobody loved me nobody cared the world would be better off with me gone,I took the […]
I am NOT a fuck up. I do care. I care so fucking much. I know I don’t have scars on the outside, but inside I’m torn to shreds. Don’t you dare say you understand. NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS. I will not be dropping out of school. I will not be failing. Will you all just stop talking about it please and let me be alone?
Yes, my grades are absolute and complete shit. I realize that. No I don’t know how I’ll get them up, but will you SHUT THE FUCK UP?! Okay, I need help, I realize that. But I don’t need you. I need […]
I love the rain…
because it soothes my skin
it cleans my slate
it cleans within
my love and hate
because it cleanses my youth
and brings me life
it tells the truth
and renews my strive
but… most of all
it hides my fears
and helps me stand tall
and hides my tears
i dont know how to explainn it but i feel empty inside… its like ive given up on everything, my hopes, my will, and dreams…. ive completely frozen over, i dont show any emotion anymore and if i do, its all forced, it’s fake, i cant take it anymore…. i thought maybe its because i didnt feel anything about my friend who died recently or maybe ive just gotten use to death being apart of my life… idk anymore but this thing, this depression has changed me, each and every time i wake up i seem to be getting deeper into the darkness and soon […]
“I sit here contemplating my life, I wonder what it has become. I raised four beautiful children on my own who in turn have given me two beautiful grandchildren.” Now why would someone who has that want to commit suicide?
Lets take a deeper look into the life of this young woman who seems to have it all: She’s a single mother who’s children have grown and started their own live’s in other cities, even in other states. She hears from them maybe once a week if not longer unless they need something. They know she’ll always be there. A woman who finds herself alone […]
Pain….It’s the only thing I can feel, and it’s the one thing that I no longer want to feel.
I’m just a shell of the person I used to be.
Im worried about her. I have seen her cuts and she hasnt been to school in over a week. I hope she’s okay :/
this is my first post so if i jibber-jabber to much i do apologize. im new at this the thought of a bunch of strangers reading this is still kind of weird but one of you might be or have been in the position im in and i would actually like to know the thoughts of someone that i guess can somewhat understand me. so here goes a bit of whats on my mind right now….
i get suicidal thoughts a lot lately. a couple days ago, i guess you can say i had a bit of a melt down. i was texting one of […]
im thinking,the next train usaully goes past a little after 10 o clock,i waited untill it gets dark out so noone sees me and gets tramatized,mabey i should jump the train first, see were it takes me,mabey to a different state,but then i will have to change my appearence, if i do decide to go tonight, im nervis,iv been out of my body before,i have had a obe,and i saw something i never want to see again,wen i went back in my body, i still felt that presence,i dont know what happens wen you die, noone does untill it happens to them, but being out […]
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]
I may be going to boarding school year after next. It’s this amazing science school in the state, and I REALLY want to go, but I’m also TERRIFIED.
I’m not good enough for my shitty public school, much less this place!
But I want to go so bad. It’s exactly what I want; a way to get the fuck out of here and get started on college before 4 years are up.
But I don’t want to go through going to a new school again. Even if everyone would be new.
But I wanna be a medical examiner; if I have the opportunity to go to a school that […]
I just can’t deal anymore. Everyone says to “hold on” and “be strong”. But they do not walk in my shoes. They do not feel the pain I feel. They were not physically and emotionally abused in their childhood. They didn’t see their boyfriend of 6 years find a new girlfriend and the two of them crack jokes about me on Facebook, saying that I am lunch meat while the new girlfriend is steak….yet the ex-boyfriend calls and tells me the same week he not over me and wants to be friends and I am a great person. How can I be a great person if […]
I decided to start fasting to try to make my tits shrink. Though I think I’ll likely give up and start eating again, mostly because of boredom and hunger pains. Currently I’m trying to apply and smell essential oils frequently because your sense of taste and smell are connected so smelling essential oils acts as kind of like a substitute for eating. Also I’m focusing on the traumatic experiences I’ve endured in the past and the things about me (my body, brain, etc) and my life I’m ashamed of to distract myself from food. Does anyone have any tips to make not eating for a […]
I know you are all suicidal but I just have one request. I wouldn’t say I am against suicide I believe that it is fully the persons choice. I just want you to consider what your problems are becuase I see som many posts on here about people saying they are going to kill themselves over relationships and arguements and I want you to ask If: 1 in five years will this still matter or affect you? 2 Is this permanent or temporary? 3 Is there anything you can do now to get relief from it? 4 how long has this been a problem? 5 […]
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For those of you who are younger or who don’t have access to a lot of materials, Â what is your way out? How would you like to leave? I’d personally prefer something relatively painless, though I do have a high pain tolerance/threshold. -Methods-
im thinking about taking sleeping pills and laying on the rail road tracks tonight,
Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context. Â http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/
I’m still here. Â Not much of an accomplishment really. Â Still depressed. Â Still having very suicidal thoughts. Â Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.
My ex and I were friends. Â The she just stopped returning my texts. Â I didn’t know why. Â Still not sure I do. Â About three weeks ago. Â I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on. Â All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes. Â I admit that sometimes this […]
I grow tired of the repaired, reconstructed, and rebuilt. I envy many of you who have faced your challenges (depression, suicide, overdose attempts, and so much more).
In all those moments you have made your life easier.
In these comments I commend you, but for many of us the battle of psych freedom is a road longer, darker, and perilous.
I am not trying to compare who is more ill (or was) but staying “just pull yourself out of it” is like a blind parent talking to a child who can see, touch, and taste the sorrow around them.
I am older than many of the […]
so i posted something on a website,i posted that i was trying to make friends, friends and nothing more, so this dude replies,and says he wants to be friends, so he writes me once, i write him once,then his girl friend starts harrassing me going into his email, talk shit, acting like i was trying to be more then friends,saying i destroyed her family, i dont even know her family, and i keep telling him to leave me alone to, and he wont, is it even possible to destroy someones family if you never met them and only talk to someone a couple times through […]