every time i read stories from this site it makes me want to cry cuz i feel for you guys and it makes me feel bad that so many of you are so sad… i wish i could do more to help you guys but i can try my best… we r all friends here, weather we know it or not….
Feet don’t fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I’m hoping that the gates,
They’ll tell me that you’re mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine
It’s like I told you honey
Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let’s go get high
The road is long, we […]
This small white oval looks stark on my kitchen table. It delicately sits there promising me so much. Pacifying me with prospects of sound sleep, resulting maybe in a gawping vacant stare and some dripping saliva. I feel cheated somehow. My years of toil, of experience, my scars dissolved by this little white oval. What am I if not the sum of my parts. Broken and strained they may be, but mine none the less. I toil over my toil and remain unresolved.
some of my friends think I’m getting worse.. i can feel it too… it so hard! why is it have to be hard! ya no body said life would be easy. but i never thought it would be this hard…
my “group” of friends all know what they want to do when they’re older and done high school…. but i have no clue! and ya i know I’m only 14 and i have LOTS of time to figure it out. but do i really? high school goes by so fast… soon i’ll be in grade 12 and still with no idea what to do….
its […]
So called fathers be a man and appreciate your sons or daughters..to me you aint even a dad your dead to me you could drop low and it wont mean shit to me. Iwasnt shit to you talking about how I cant be nothing, icant do nothing and way more, even hit me at a young age but not now cuz you know I aint afraid of you ill kill you you baster, so for those who have a real good father appreciate it !
I don’t know why but today I felt hopeful and optimistic and confident.
And while the world has thrown some good social interaction at me today, I am bombarded with this crippling discouragement. In any other way, she would react like everyone else today, accepting! But no matter how many people laugh with me, or are nice to me today, she is mentally pushing me aside.
Why? Why can’t my good feelings be rewarded? I don’t want to be depressed again, and yet, whenever I am happy I become attacked.
I need help! I feel I’m in the inbetween, and I don’t want to drown again! Please don’t […]
so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my […]
When I was little my mom and dad would fight, a lot. And that would always end with my dad yelling at my mom and then him hitting her. He would hit her right in front of me and she would cry, and then I would cry. And then my dad would ask me why I’m crying because I’m not the one who’s being hit. It’s been awhile since then and somewhere along the way he stopped being abusive, they still fight and he still yells but he doesn’t hit her anymore. He does sometimes hit me though, one time he slapped me because I […]
I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
Things going better and worst at the same time… I solved some of my problems, but some of them seems won’t change for a long time… My brother lost all control and using psychological violence against me. Its so hard to handle. I do everything for the familly.. But he keeps saying i am nothing, stupid *****, dirty, dumb idiot and so on.. He even keep saying that when my friends hear.
So sad.. Once, he was an idol for me. Now, i want to delete him from my life totally. Good that mother is dead and doesn’t […]
i’m new here and i will get straight to the point: i suffer from depression that is killing me, i feel so insecure, so doubtfull of myself and i sometimes hate myself for who i am and i’m afraid what will become of me. i just have this feeling and i just can’t turn it around. i have been bullied at class, and i’ve got no friends in my class. they all think i’m weird because i listen to heavy metal music and R&B music together. i don’t like hiphop and that kinda crap and that’s why people in my class think i’m weird cause […]
First of all I would like to point out I left school about a year ago and I have been looking for a job and getting nowhere, had a couple of interviews but had no luck with that.
I live in a tiny village where I dont know many people so it means getting family to drive me 11 miles to town so I can meet my mates. Only problem is all my mates are guys, I don’t get on with girls. So because im only really interested in getting drunk Its usually with a few guys every week along with my older brother who […]
I guess that those of you reading this have probably heard this a thousand times but i’m going to say it anyway why can’t i be normal? I see people in the streets smiling and getting on with life all happily and yet i’ve been condemned to my own personal hell. I thought that if i blamed people (such as my parents) that i would feel better as i would have someone/something to hate, give my life some sort of purpose. I fooled myself into believing i could be ‘somebody, that i could love life and seize every moment but i can’t. I’ve screwed up […]
Hi there I checked into a nice hotel on the waterfront in Eastbourne to plan to grab a taxi to Beachy Head. Unfortunately I got to the cliff edge and was approached by the dreaded Chaplains who then proceeded to call the Police and I was put in a cell for 7 hrs “for my own safety”. Which was not a lot of fun. I was searched and detained. The cops were super pleasant and felt good that they had saved my ass. The police in Eastbourne are all oddly good looking and it was like a scene form csi NY.
I then was assessed by […]
My name is Scott Teller, I am far from a professional, I don’t even know what I’m doing really. However, I am genuinely offering my time to talk to you, or just listen to anything that is on your mind. If you would like to talk to me personally instead of on this forum my email is iwilltalk2you@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you soon.
I’ve never attempted suicide, but I find myself thinking about dying ALOT. Wondering who would care, how would their lives be, who would miss me, if my ex would feel guilty, how would I die, who would be at my funeral. I feel as if these thoughts consume a part of me that is too much to bare. Here I am 9:20 am. I should be in class but of course I woke up today with no sense of motivation, wondering why I woke up in the first place. I fucked myself over again, I failed last semester, &failed this semester too because I have […]
It is ‘down’ town tonight here [on the other side of the world from most of you]
I guess most people realise eventually that they’re totally alone, it’s how much that reality gets to you and how long you have it going through your head.
I’ve had clinical depression on & off most of my life, my wife just doesn’t get it, sharing it with ‘friends’ it ends up consuming the relationship, my kids have seen all their teenage years watching me struggle along.
The only thing I’d like from here is somehow to connect a bit, have some things in common with others, like i feel i […]
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Why the fuck can’t i ever not fuck everything up.
I guess I’m just confused. I can’t even decide what to write. I don’t feel like cutting anymore, or even killing myself. I don’t even feel like being dead. I suppose this means the cymbalta’s working. I just don’t want to live. I still have panic attacks daily and thats really the only time IÂ actually feel connected to the world around me. The rest of the time I feel like a real person sitting in a cartoon movie – almost like I’m looking down on everything.I keep making mini suicide attempts though (overdosing, ect.) that I know won’t actually kill me. Part of my brain […]