as i sit here typing each word that pops into my mind, i feel so friken depressed. i think of my past present and future. my past was horrible my present is worse and my fututre might be hell or i might so something with my self. i havent talked to my father in forever cuz i dont trust him he a crack head and i dont feel safe around him he is just worsesome. i saw him for the first time in 2 years and i started to cry cuz i felt scared and weak. i started cutting myself again. i feel like shit […]
today may 18 11:55 am and I’m in bed. I know I should be in school but I just had to think and I don’t have the strength to go and tell him my story. It’s just like a dream my dream came true. He asked me out and I said yes, but now I have to deal with telling him about my problems and that won’t be easy. I learn that he does it to, that he cuts himself as well as I do. And I told him that I cut and that he shouldnt cut. I made him promise me that he wouldn’t […]
hey everyone …..xx
hope you are all well .. <——- that question is so fckn annoying dontcha think .. = of course we are not well dumbass !!
well i know im not – i dont know what to do .. im so lost – numb – sick of my life !… im so scared im confused ..
today ive not really been in touch with reality to be honest – ive not even got washed or dressed – TRAMP ALERT !
I love someone, they dug me out a dark hole when I fell in love when them and now they have put me back in their, changing me, making me feel I can’t do the things I love. I’m lost.
How do i give someone i love a huge wake up call without them getting hurt or angry at me?
I hate asking for advice but i need to tell someone what they are currently doing is not how to live a happy life and that although i love them very much i really need them to move into the next phase of their journey and leave behind all these current issues. Because i fear that if they don’t take responsibility and move on soon then i may have to leave/lose them.
And i don’t want to lose/leave them.
But how do i tell them this […]
I just want to sleep now and never wake up again. I sent an email to my mum confessing that I was diagnosed as depressed and with an anxiety disorder too. I don’t think she has read it yet but she looked my straight in the eye and said to me “I don’t give a fuck.” Â She asked me earlier to tidy my room but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I said il get around to it and thats when she said it. Im just pathetic. I adore my mum and its devastating to think that she might hate me for my illness. […]
A short post, because I am about to go to work and spend a few pointless hours doing something there now everyone is going home (so I can be alone).
Anyway, trying to buy time, moments, minutes and sometimes seconds. Now I find though it is not enough, this isn’t going to work in the long run. How can we buy time (and I do not mean economically) to keep ourselves alive when the pain is too great?
Have tried working, traveling, buying things, hurting myself, putting myself to sleep and just literally wasting time, but when those things pass, the pain remains, and it hurts like […]
Nothing is getting better, I have lost almost everything I love. 27 years old and I no longer have any desire to go forward, to keep fighting. My mental illness has taken complete control over me. I need help but I can’t seem to find it. countless waiting lists fot doctors that just prescribe without listening. No one ever wants to listen. Things I used to love now seem pointless.  I may have to go soon.
The name of the post kind of says it all, I was so sure I wanted to die. Up to the point where I had everything planned and ready, down to the exit bag made and the helium under my bed. I felt happy and in some ways free at the thought I would die. And although I still wish I would die in my sleep or fall of a cliff or something I do not feel ready to take my own life.
It started about two days ago, I was sat watching TV when I saw a women with her three children. They were the […]
I don’t know where this post will take me, but i just need to write to take my mind off walking to thesupermarket and buying a binge fest. I have already eaten 6 bars of chocolate, 3 packet of crisps (potato chips?) 1 tub of ben and jerry icecream… Been for a run, had an extremely hot shower and my empty void is still there.. Add to that the half block of cheese i just ate and the two cheese toasties that are cooking..
I am also going to my dads for tea, his fridge is stockpiled with binge worthy food…. Argh… Anyone got any tips […]
I’m writing this on my phone because I am in school and it is lunchtime and I feelunbelievably depressed and there is nobody here I can talk to in this way… Anyway, I feel possessed with the desire to jump from a top floor window, to cut myself all the way up my arm and to just curl up in a ball for hours and scream. I want to scream and shout and just cry for a long time, but I can’t. I can’t do these things because I am at school and nobody here knows how deeply depressed I feel a lot if the […]
I’m 35. Work as a mental health professional. It’s strange but all these years suicide was never something I ever contemplated in the slightest. I’ve never really been depressed. I don’t think I’m clinically depressed at the moment. Maybe burnt out and not in the best mood but by no means depressed.
Over the last few months I’ve realized that the decisions that I made to move to a new country have come with with a rash of problems that while not catastrophic have caused incredible stress, heartache, homesickness and problems advancing my career. I’m getting a feeling that some of these problems may well have […]
A blade to my wrist
Like a flame to a fire
The reflection of the white light
The forever emptiness saying goodbye
Filled the hole with pain
Filled the empty with blood
The pain consumes me but I don’t want to stop
The darkness torments but I won’t open my eyes
The light blinds but I won’t turn away
This is my fate
My fate and mine alone to face
Now they say its all down hill after forty! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? because if you think about it it’s hard work walking uphill and easy going down. Maybe its hard work getting to middle age and then a easy quick road down hill to death. I hope so as it has been a long tiring road up hill for me So far. I feel I have lived a thousand lives and now I would like a quick down hill ride to death! So here is hoping the next 40 will be great ride down 🙂
I don’t like the person I am anymore. I’m okay on some levels, but in close relationships I become a cold *****. I don’t know how to fix it, therapy hasn’t helped much with the issue. I’m stressed in general, but I guess I just get unhappy.
My boyfriend and I just broke up for the millionth time, what a huge surprise. I’d like to say that this was more his fault than mine but it’s probably pretty even. I’m a really difficult person to be in a relationship with. I’m not sure what to do about it. Truth be told, I feel weary all of […]
I bet i’m not the only one on here that delves into the problems of others to build a barrier between you and your own. I bet I’m not the only one who seems some of you, if not all, as tools. Yes, I use you to escape my life. I am pathetic, but as pathetic as I may be, sometimes you all are tools to me. Objects to use to fix whatever is broken in my life or to build up, even more, the barrier between my emotions and my problems. I realize I torture myself by doing this…It’s still better than feeling nothing. […]
I don’t really know what to do anymore. I’m done with the denial. I have Meniere’s disease (self diagnosed), I can’t hear from my right ear, I probably never will and there’s nothing anyone can do. The doctors tell me i’m fine, my friends say it will pass,and when i try to talk to my parents seriously about it they get mad and say my hearings going to come back. I’m tired of it. I want to be taken seriously damn it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. All I really can do is wait to get blood tests,wait to get a hearing […]
When I get really suicidal I concider calling a suicide hotline but I don’t because I don’t think they could possibly say anthing I haven’t heard or that would help.
Can it get any worse? He killed her that fucking bastard killed my fiancé. My kids grandparents came & got my boys. Now I truly have nothing to live for. Why is this happening to me PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHY?? O DEAR MERCIFUL LORD TAKE ME HOME TO MY FIANCÉ . I hate to take the easy way out but w/o her or my kids in nothing more than an empty shell. I hope it won’t be to painful!! Im scared but there’s no turning back now.!