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Breaking again

June 9th, 2010by 77evergone77

I feel as though I’m choking on air
Being strangled by the breeze.
I’m locked into place
I will never be free.

I’m lying in my bed afraid to go to sleep but also afraid to stay up because my moms in a foul mood and hates when I stay up late. Little does she know, I hardly ever sleep anymore. Only when absolutely nessicery (I’m sorry I can’t spell). I feel consticted and alone. Like an evacuated holocaust camp. Abandoned because help came too close and hated for what it was used for and what it was forced to do and who it was forced to hold. …

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I Don’t Know How Much More I Can Take

June 8th, 2010by Tobias

I find myself to continue to be suicidal because of my objective views of life. I recognize the emptiness of every moral, value, or principle and I can’t seem to adopt enough of them for myself because I hardly find any of them reputable enough to call my own. I’m so sick of the subjective morality of this place. I’m sick of hearing about how I need to find Jesus, I’m sick of the constant reverence and respect for a deity, and I can’t seem to find anyone that thinks the way I do. Anytime I express that, I’m always torn down with, “well, you …

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Pathetic Shit

June 8th, 2010by lost830

I don’t know why I always feel like this. I can’t even remember when it started but now all I can feel is empty. It’s like there’s nothing inside me anymore. The only emotion I feel is sadness and I don’t even know if that’s real anymore. Everything I say sounds stupid even to myself. I have no value in my own eyes because everyone has degraded me way past the point where I could ever have any respect for myself ever again. I’m a freshman in high school and have been cutting on and off since I was in 7th grade. I constantly feel …

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Is there a point?

June 8th, 2010by nick

Hi I’m Nick. I’ll try to keep this short, sweet, and to the point. I started having suicidal thoughts 4 years ago. I really didn’t have a good reason. I just wasn’t happy with my life and I felt really alone. Over time things got better and I wanted to live. I started being around my family more which really helped. And after I blew my knee out playing football I started to coach Special Olympics football and basketball. I found my passion and that was to be a coach. If something was bothering me and I felt depressed, sports was always there and it …

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My first time here

June 8th, 2010by Day-by-day

Hello I was reading all of your lives and how everyone is feeling and I just wanted to say hello, and that I too have had a very interesting live when it comes to it being a happy one.  I have had allot of good things in my life, but I just don’t know why I can not get away from this poor me feeling.  There are days that I can be on top of he world, but then all it takes is one or two items to bring me back to earth and I just want to close my eyes and keep them closed …

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June 8th, 2010by lauren90

My first suicidal thought occurred aged seven, when I naively but intently put and elastic hair band tightly at the top of my arm thinking I’d be dead within an hour. It didn’t work. All I wanted was to see my best friend again and it didn’t work. From then on nothing did.
I attempted an overdose aged 10. It was only 8 paracetomol, but that didn’t work either, neither did the counselling after.
Since then I’ve taken countless overdoses, self harmed, even tried hanging myself but chickened out half way through. Nothing worked.
For the year 2008 til 2009 I was happy. Nothing particular was …

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How long will it be like this?

June 8th, 2010by scott20cmu

My name is Scott. The more I think about my life the more I realize that this started years ago and has become worse instead of better as I used to think it would. I guess I was denying that anything was wrong with me. I think it started after college. I got a degree that wasn’t exactly easy to get a job in but I did it because I liked the field. After a couple years of looking for a job I had to give up and take a management position with a clothing store because I had student …

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the choo-choo train of thought

June 8th, 2010by fireflieslight

A locomotive was rac..ketching, rac..ketching, dragging really slow on the tracks.
And a pig was nicely cozy whipping its tail enjoying his walk on the other side of the Y junction.
At the intersection, they met.
“Hey, piggy, you are real fat”

“Yeah. What happened to your train doors. It’s all gone.”

“Well, big mistake in believing God. I was originally idling rusty and immobilized somewhere. One day, I saw the bandits coming, I had to pray to God to give me immense power to choo like my old times, and to run like my glory young days, but all I could have was spilling out all the soot and …

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Hen Party

June 8th, 2010by johnicek10

Is there anything extra enjoyable than attending Hen Evening to have a good time the approaching end to one among your closest good friends or relatives freedom? There is just nothing like gathering a party of feminine pals together and enjoying a Hen Night. In fact, you ll want to be sure you ve gotten the appropriate fun clothes to put on to this very special event. Something that has turn out to be fairly standard for play wear as a part of the Hen Night time accessories is a black tutu or a pink tutu – clasic hen night.

Thats right. …

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June 8th, 2010by bottmint

I feel like I’m this huge drain on every single person around me. People say that they love me. I appear to accept these words, yet in my mind, I sit there and say “yeah right. Who could love someone like me?” I’ve contemplated suicide before, but I always chicken out of it. I always will. I disgust myself. I’ve spent time in a psychiatric facility for suicidal thoughts. All I do is sit around. I devour resources that aren’t available, thereby putting those around me in a deeper state of debt. When there’s a problem with those I care about, all I ever manage …

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will things ever get better?

June 7th, 2010by doneforgood

It started with pety family drama. My dad being constantly drunk and/or high. My grandmother drinking 24/7. my brother and sister on there own and my mother working all day with school on the side. Leaving me basically alone for most of my life.

I have dealt with it in many ways. Venting, smoking, cutting, screaming, sleeping, and most recently taking drugs not knowing what they are and hoping that i dont wake up.

Recently my house is going to be foreclosed which led to my father constantly being drunk and constantly yelling and fighting. I just cant take the bull shit anymore.

And tonight was the cherry …

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Hell is a place on earth

June 7th, 2010by Just a stupid kid

Where the river runs red,
no one sleeps, but the dead,
with their eyes open wide,
they know nothing of pride,
in this land, despair reigns,
it has people in chains,
but the world doesn’t care,
it doesn’t know that it’s there,
for what it’s made this land feel,
it doesn’t believe to be real.

In the place where the red river flows,
it is only those,
that have lived there,
who can know,
why? People often come, but never go,
as where the river runs red,
all the people are dead.

When the shadow falls,
across your face,
and the crumbling walls,
leave only darkening dust in your place,
there’ll be no one left who recalls,
your realisation, you won’t fall with grace.

Instead you’ll die by …

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Thoughts of death and success.

June 6th, 2010by Fateful

My reasons for wanting to suicide comes from the immense loneliness I’ve felt even when I was surrounded by groups of friends. I always got the feeling that no one quite understood me. The people around me just seem to connect better with others and I desperately wanted to be like them. In order to find sanction I would day dream about the perfect romance in which I would never be alone. In a way, I was escaping from reality in order to cope. But there were still days when I felt that if I simply disappeared no one would care and I’d actually be …

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Why me.

June 6th, 2010by Jimmehrulezd00d

Depression, for me, started at age 15.

When my idol died from cancer. My Grandfather, had passed away in the beginning of 9th grade.

I always talked so highly of him, and i looked at him like the person i wanted to be.

He could do anything, and it would be the right thing to do.

He could fix anything, and help me and the family with anything you could possibly imagine.

It seemed like my whole life was turned upside down from that day. October 26th 2008. The day, i despise with all of the hatred life could fathom.

He was dead, i was in denial for months to come.

In …

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Just gonna put it all out there…

June 6th, 2010by Lily6612402

I guess I just wanna get everything off my chest. And not become completly shunned by all my friends…

I’m gonna start out with the cliche of a highschool teen: My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and has a new girlfriend, it’s made me sad and more than a little jealous.
Next, my parents think I’m “all better” since I don’t show how I feel and my pills are still being taken. But I know if I talk to them about this there just gonna freak completly out and dump me in a mental institute. (which I’m deathly afraid of)
Of course, there are …

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Dropping in

June 6th, 2010by overstayed

I hate this world soooo much I know sooo much and feel like i cant do anything about it. Will i be hated for letting it all happen, Vodka keeps me sane, Meds keepp me sane and yet I need to put this evill to sleep but what is sane I have the peace in a bottle beside me allways beside me I know it works it worked by accident b4 …

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Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches

June 6th, 2010by Anna

Miss Lucy had some leeches
Her leeches liked to suck
And when they drank up all her blood
She didn’t give a…
Funny when the doctors
Had locked her in her cell
Miss Lucy screamed all night that they
Should go to bloody…
‘Hello’ to the surgeon
With scalpel old and blunt
He’ll tie you to the table
Then he’ll mutilate your…
Come, it’s nearly teatime
The lunatics arrive
The keepers bleed them all until
There’s no one left a…
Lively little rodents
Are eaten up by cats
We’re subject to experiments
Like laboratory…
Rats, I’ve dropped a teacup
How easily they break
I’m on my hands and knees until
I pay for my mis-…
Take off all your clothing
We’ve only just begun
We have no anesthesia
It’s eighteen forty…
One thing …

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So which is it?

June 6th, 2010by Flip221

Do we medicate the “unhappy” person with the goal of making them feel less unhappy, or treat the root cause of the unhappiness? Such as the partner who persistantly lets everything go to SHIT??? So maybe I don’t “care” as much due to the drugs, but the underlying problems are still there. My wife is lazy and has no interetest in me – she is intrerested in her DOG! The ***** (the dog) has taken over the house and pisses/shits whereever she likes. THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! I really hope ANYONE with similar experience can help me through this.

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what’s the point

June 6th, 2010by lost_soul

I don’t see any purpose in my life. I don’t even know what I’m suppose to be doing. I’m tired of running around in circles.

I give up.

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Drugs can’t make you feel in love – there is no substitute

June 6th, 2010by Flip221

There really isn’t. So what happens when the drugs don’t get you to were you ned to be (over several years). Is it really just me? Anyone?

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