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7

End Guaranteed but deferred

January 7th, 2011by justshootme

Glad to have found this site, as I need to express some things about my state of mind at a forum where no friends are and no one will attempt to make everything better by saying “hey don’t be depressed you’re a good guy” and “things’ll get better just you wait”. It so easy to write that, and so useless to read.

Less than a week after a great (or so I thought) NYE party, where I normally rejuvenate myself from holiday depression by hosting …

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4

Entry Two: The Smell of Bleach

January 7th, 2011by inbetweendays

Before I write the main meat of this entry. You should know somethings:

I have been diagnosed with depression, and anxiety problems. So we all know that. And i love my boyfriend more than anything.

I live with my boyfriend Joe he’s 22. I love him so much, we’ve been together for a year and a half now. He’s my first love and my first everything. We were actually engaged last Christmas. But this last summer he all of a sudden told me he didn’t love me anymore and slept with one of his friends from high school. We broke up for about 7 weeks. It turns …

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2

Entry One: Intro/Work

January 7th, 2011by inbetweendays

Forgive my abrupt periods, and short sentences. I’ve noticed it helps me to keep my thoughts together on here, since normally I can get very descriptive but then lose track.

I’m a 20 year old girl in college. I was going to a 4 year university. Fucked that up last semester by losing my scholarship. Going to community now and paying my own way. I want to work as a childcare provider. I love kids, I used to think I was a kid at heart, but now not so much.

I work at a terrible local bridal shop. It’s owned by …

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6

Valid reason for suicidal thoughts and/or depression

January 7th, 2011by thatguy

I’m 20 years old, I study at university in the UK.
I changed course after my first year, and now im on a new course, but its still not much better. The biggest issue i have is my parents, they’re always saying ‘when you graduate’ and assuming that i will graduate all the time, i dont think they quite understand that you have to actually work a lot to graduate, but i struggle for motivaton because i really hate the course that much.

Also I dont really value my friends at university as much as the ones from my home town, but they’re all at different universities …

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9

Does anyone here have borderline personality disorder?

January 7th, 2011by TiredMesh

I’ve been diagnosed with it…and I just wanted to hear what it’s like for others with it.

The psych told me I will always feel this way(the saddness)…I shall also tell him at my next visit, that I’m perfectly content with killing myself in 6 years. My mother called me weak, and needy, that I have no tolerance, really, if there’s nothing wrong with the way we live, then why does my father tell us he wants to die every night, and why is my brother now scitsophrenic? Sigh…

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6

Shrink Wrapping

January 7th, 2011by Violet Blake

The walls were white and all I could think about was how much I hated staring at the white walls, but there was nothing else to really look at. The lobby where Dr. White’s (seriously, how much more obvious can you get?) office was located was like a vast example of why interior decorators are much needed. I bit my lower lip and my mom patted her hand on top of mine, a gesture meaning “if you were to bite that lip any harder you wouldn’t have one”. She does things like that all the time, in a way it’s kind of like sign language, …

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1

My emotional high

January 7th, 2011by cattygirl96

who knew you would turn out to be just what i need ? Yeah i suffer sometimes in this life, but i get so much good out of it in the end, ive been blind this whole year, not seeing that what i’m looking for in a friend, had been here the whole time ( lol song ). My problems seem to have paused for my best friends, since they gave me the most amazing day i’ve had in a long time. Then my long awaited hug, no matter how many times postponed or forgotten came, and i swear i’ve never felt anything better in …

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3

hi, i’m 24. jobless. destroyed marriage. total failure.

January 7th, 2011by malice

I can’t count the ultimatums I’ve given. He’s cheated. He’s lied. He lied LAST NIGHT. He drinks. He lies about drinking. He cheats. He beats me. And of course he plays it all down like it’s nothing. Now he’s in therapy. Too little too late. I’m dead inside. I don’t want to go back to my suffocatingly conservative and all-around selfish and rude family. they’re 3,000 miles away anyway. I never let friends get too close to me because my friendships usually end up working out as poorly as my marriage did. I can’t remember the last time i was happy…  I wanna say maybe age five through ten. When my little brother was still my little brother.

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7

2012: a year of Hope?

January 7th, 2011by niki

I can really relate with many of these posters here are feeling. and especially of how you’re all so sick and can’t stand the people in general anymore because they reek selfishness and my guess is they’re also so full of superficiality in this materialism-era.
If anything, you guys sound like a really good, sincere, honest person, and it’s an unfortunate widespread reality that the ‘good, honest, sincere’ people are having REALLY hard times in this 21st era today.

But if there’s anything that can act as a consolation, or a Hope,
IMO it would be year 2012.

Now, I know that you might easily be like “what?..I don’t

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8

Just keep swimming!

January 7th, 2011by hollywood1919


hope this brightens up your day 🙂

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22

38+ years without hope. How much longer must I endure this pain?

January 7th, 2011by blacknduglycaligirl

38+ years without hope. How much longer must I endure this pain?

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1

please help

January 7th, 2011by amethyst97

Call It Love. Call It Lies. Call it anything you like.

Weed and cigarettes being a dealer for my “friends”.
I’m now bi and have no one that cares about me more then a friend.
i hate myself.
all of my friends are “worried” or dont care about me.
my mom calls me a slut my dad still trusts me…barely.
i need help please.
all of my problems on a list would go on forever.

Call It Love. Call It Lies. Call it anything you like.

-amethyst.com@gmail.com

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10

I never thought I would end up like this.

January 7th, 2011by jake95

Let me be honest since I’m on a website and nobody knows me. My name is Jake I am 15 and live in Oklahoma. I am a diaper lover and have always been that way. I have this need to wear diapers. It just gives me a Wenceslas of comfort that I never received from my parents. My mother has congestive heart failure and progressive ms. I love my parents very much, but this is the part wher I contradict myself. My father is abusive both emotionally and physically, he likes to talk about how he can’t wait for my mother to die. My mother …

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5

Maybe you do too.

January 7th, 2011by imstillbreathing

Do you ever feel lost? Like theres no where else to go? like your running out of places to hide your feelings? In reality i have everyone, but inside; i’m lonely.

And, i just don’t know what to do about it, what i can do about it.

Save me while you can cause;

~imstillbreathing.

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8

Hope this helps someone…

January 7th, 2011by hollywood1919

just listen, this song is amazing. I hope it helps make someone feel better 🙂

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22

Anyone?

January 6th, 2011by hollywood1919

Anybody just want to talk? Kind of bored and kind of lethargic atm… I’m here if anybody wants advice or just wants to talk. email me? cutecopper19@hotmail.com

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1

song has good advice

January 6th, 2011by BlueHero45

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10

so here i go…

January 6th, 2011by TheEndIsNear

I have been reading posts for a couple weeks now and it is so sad that there are so many young people on here in so much pain. I am 37 and have always had some depression but nothing like the last couple months. In November I decided I wanted to end it all so I have decided to do it at the end of this month. It has been a challenge waiting that long but didnt want to ruin the holidays for the family and also wanted to see my dad one last time which I am doing next week. Why do I want …

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5

Waving goodbye

January 6th, 2011by JohnD

I’ve struggled with depression and substance abuse since I was at least thirteen years old. It all seemed to have a purpose back then. I’m not normal, I’ll just make that clear right now, I have always seen things differently, whatever that means. I am an unaccomplished musician, an unaccomplished writer, and sick to death of spending each day working a trade with guys twice my age. I’m turning twenty seven in a week or so, the age I had originally set out to end my life assuming I was a big rock star by that time, well what happened? I’ll tell you, I’ve smoked …

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6

I WISH I KNEW WHY

January 6th, 2011by kjlm14

My quick life story my brothers have broken my arms, damaged my skull,my parents got a divorse and i feel like the worlds out to get me.
and now the two people that i feel are good friends turned their back on me. The girl i love hates me cause my good friend pissed me off and i already got some suicidal already and now this. My whole school seems like everyone hates me and hopes i die so all i need is some help from all you people who have a way with being happy after all of this.

ok about my brothers they were like …

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