i hate wen people argue with you for ten minutes then say(well this conversation aint going anywere)ya, it never goes any were after you get all your words in to the very last one,you say what you want, after you get your last word in then the conversation aint going anywere?ten fucking minutes, seriously, then someone hurts you and they say get over it, and act like its so easy, then you say something rude to them, and they never get over it, wtf?do i really only know a bunch of dumb fucks?then i cant even ask a question even though they can, then they […]
It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.
I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]
my life is over. I screwed up my life and now I have nothing. But I can’t even kill myself yet, I have to wait until my this is all over, otherwise I’m going to screw my eternal life up too.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve tried so freaking hard, and I screwed it all up. I don’t deserve to live, but i can’t kill myself yet.
FML
This is such a beautiful, yet sad song that I thought I would share it with all of you…
I have this one so-called friend who’s always calling me pessimistic and way too negative. She’s one of those intensely annoying types, unbelievably selfish but able to hide that trait under a mask of caring before backstabbing for her own enjoyment. The kind of girl who asks how much work you’ve been doing just so she can brag about how hardworking she is before starting on at you and making you feel like crap… Basically, she’s poisonous.
But yeah, she likes to call me a pessimist which I am not. I’m not a pessimist at all, I’m simply a realist who’s tired of bullshit and doesn’t […]
It calls it does again and again
Begging and pleading saying “Let me come in”
You feel it aproaching quickening its feet
Bringing death and disaster to all it does meet
Awake at midnight you feel it’s power
Have the urge to end your hour
A slip of the blade a drop of red
Breath does fade At last your dead
The sun rises and bids the day
Your parents open the door to wake
You from your slumber and then they see
Your bloodied form has gone to sleep
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
Suicide and Reclamation
It’s so cold and dark in this place
I’d cut myself open to show you
Our blood is the same
Water stings as it kisses cuts like my mothers lips
Something about submerging myself seemed to be like a baptism.
I remember when my pastor dipped me in the water.
I want to be clean again.
I want to tell you I’m sorry…for what I can’t remember.
All I know is that I was wrong.
Alcohol burned so much I thought it killed what made me sick even those dirty sinful memories.
I want to be pure again.
I want to hold someone […]
Everyone just works their asses during Jr. High and High School so the can get good grades and go to college. Then once they’re in college, everyone works their asses off so they can get good grades and graduate and get a good job. Then everyone works their fucking asses off in their jobs so they can make money. Then once they have money they buy a big house but they can never come home to it, can they? That’s right because they’re too busy working their asses off to afford that house and cleaning ladies and putting their kids through school even though their […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
Unfortunately I’m still here. Got interrupted last week, had the bag on my head when this ***** i was fucking came over and screwed my plan. Still not gong to let that fuck my plan, another day, another plan.
This song from Notorious B.I.G, Suicidal thought’s. I can relate to it, can you?
When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell Cause I’m a piece of shit,
it ain’t hard to fuckin’ tell It don’t make sense, goin’ to heaven wit the goodie-goodies Dressed in white,
I like black Tims and black hoodies.
God will probably have me on some real strict shit No sleepin’ all day, no gettin my dick licked.
Hangin’ with the goodie-goodies loungin’ […]
Help me, I can’t breathe anymore.
I am suffocating, what do I do?
I’m panicking, what should I do?
I’m suffering, what can I do?
I can’t breathe anymore, help me.
It’s a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care makes me want to say
It’s a beautiful world
Oh what a beautiful world
For you
It’s a wonderful time to be here
It’s nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair makes me want to say
It’s a wonderful place
Oh what a wonderful place
For you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, not me.
~Rage Against The Machine~
I love that so song so much and often I feel like this song so true. I […]
The pressure is building, and I am about to fucking explode, but I know that if I cut then I’ll be alright even just for a little bit while I stain my arm red. I want to die. But if death would bring me peace then I don’t deserve it. I can’t feel anymore. Does this make sense? I have gone completely numb. All i have is the memories of the actual emotions. but it’s almost as if they are scratching the surface, and maybe if I cut they’ll come seeping out so i can feel again.
Why am I so alone. I feel so empty. […]
Here lately I think about  It every day!! I’m just soo tired of everything! I’m tired of  living, tired of  hurting, tired of crying all the time, I just want to die! No on knows how I feel, not even my husband. You know I can even remember wanting to die and praying to die every night when I was 6, 11, 14, so on and so forth. That is the main thing I  remember about growing up. Although the reason’s have only piled up since then. I feel like everyone around me would be better of and happier if  I just died. Sometimes I […]
Hi all, It is very sad that we are forced, I am forced to live in a world that kills all life so freely and they justify it in their minds as either a good thing or a needed evil. Our world Governments kill without pause. But If I want to Leave what I view as a painful and unjust life I am considered of ill mental health. I have been diagnosed with major depression for many years. I have been on many drugs, did therapy from 1991 to 1997, I am 55 yo. Gay and blah, blah , blah. I am looking for a […]
I might have to kill myself tonight.
Everything just fucking fell apart on me,
I have no idea what to do about it.
I died inside and no one is here to help me through this.
I’m afraid I won’t succeed and I’ll end up somewhere in the psych ward.
I’m so afraid.
Life sucks so bad right now,
I’m so sick of this right now.
My friends leave me out all the time and I feel so left out all the time.
I can’t do this anymore. Really, I can’t.
I just feel awful all the time.
Depression is eating me up. Bad.
I tried of everything.
Tried of losing my friends.
Tried of not being notice.
Tried of those who don’t understand.
Tried of trying to fit in.
I so tried, just I want it all to end.
But i going to live, because I tried of people who think I am not going to make it.
I’m NOT tried of proving them wrong.
found this poem online n made me think about a lot.
i thought i’ll share it with you guys.
 Razorblade
As the razorblade slides threw my pale skin,
the red, warm blodd starts to run down my arm.
It goes faster and faster.
The sut is so deep,
like it’s never been before.
The razorblade turns all red,
full of blood.
I know now theres no turning back.
The scare of my pain will always be there forever.
I’ll always have the memories.
I just had to let the pain go somehow.
This is the way I do.
Thoughts of suicide start to run threw […]