Tonight I die. This is my 3rd attempt, and I think I finally got my suicide figured out. I am not mentally ill or depressed, right now I am actually quite calm. My story is simple, I had a good life but threw it away because I am a compulsive gambler. My friends and family bailed me out countless times and yet I don’t learn from my mistakes and dig myself back into the same hole again and again. I am a sinner and don’t deserve better. I just wish that before I go… I can give back all the money that I owe to […]

Hey guys, so I want to get myself into some sort of therapy and I was wondering what everyone thought about it. I guess I am afraid that the lady I talk to will think I am crazy (maybe I am) or will be like unable to understand. I don’t want to go to therapy and have the last not understand me.

I was wondering if anyone had any experiences with therapy (positive or negative). I need help but don’t know whether to find it within or with therapy.

its strange. im depressed i know that, my family knows that. at school nobody knows cuz i come across as happy, positive, never sad, and no way depressed. yet i carry around suicide notes and one of my friends saw and didnt believe it..shows im either a good actress or i should just shout it to the people around me..cuz now it looks like im a liar…oh god i made a problem if i tell some of my friends will force me to get help (been there already) if i dont i look like a liar.. my life would make a great show just cuz […]

I haven’t been around much … some may have worried, other may have been thankful or been indifferent … but just wanted to let those that know me know that I’m still around 😉

All the best

dawg

Hi all,

I read now some stories of the suicide project and I know that some of you have to deal far bigger problems then I have to, but I just can’t help myself. Your posts always encouraged me not to give up on anything and I will not commit suicide by now and I think I won’t ever do so. I know some of you by now really well.  alina_01 I have read a lot of your stories. All tough we don’t have the same situation. I feel with you. I hope someday you will find your peace and get a good live again. I […]

I still have feelings of getting revenge on those people who hurted me. Because of them i’m stuck in homeschool, away from society. Is there anyway to stop the feeling of revenge? In all honesty, I had to watch porn and masturbate alot to feel better…please help.

There’s this hate in me that I do not understand, I usually hate myself and all the people around me. I am a nice person but people see otherwise. I am 26 and have reached nothing, when I was younger I thought I’d be someone great, important and happy. I moved out of my parents house 5 years ago and since then lived with my boyfriend. I am gay, and my parents doesn’t know (if they did they’ll tell me that I will burn in hell for the whole eternity). Life seems so dark and empty, my boyfriend is no longer attracted to me and […]

I think there must be many dreamers doing the same in these moments. Looking for a sense of a futile existence, many without a penny in his pocket still naively believe that will be realized.Of course it’s possible! We will not give up, do not you add to the list of losers who just resigned themselves to see through each day without surprise, without a smile, without a word.
No doubt life is not worth it without a reason to exist. Exist without a trace bitter, sweet, sad or happy as a fingerprint, there is not just what we do many: the losers once we […]

I have never been so hurt in my life as i was when you left me..FML!

She painted a pretty picture 
But this picture had a twist
You see..
Her paintbrush is a razor
And her canvas is her wrist
She paints her pretty picture
In the colour that is blood red
While using her sharp paintbrush
She ends up finally dead
Her pretty picture is fading
Quite slowly on her arm
The blood is not racing through her
She can no longer do harm
She painted a pretty picture
But her picture had a twist you see
Her mind was the razor 
And her heart was just the wrist..

I was abused pretty early on by my father. Mentally and physically. He tried to kill me with a gun.  It misfired twice. I used to think I was fortunate that happened, now I wish when he  shot, he killed me. I would have saved me a lot of suffering.

Went to school teased there as well. Stood up to them didn’t matter. Beat them up. Didn’t matter. Told school officials didn’t matter.

Then my mother abused me mentally. She checked out on life for a number of years by taking percocet and valium.  Which left me at 8 to pay the bills. The money was there […]

I don’t really know how to tell anyone these things but I’m at breaking point, I can’t find comfort from the only two people who stick by me…

I’m fifteen years old and I get bullied every day at school for being ‘Emo’ I don’t understand why. They don’t know my past..

When I was younger my Mom and Dad would argue a lot, I’d end up crying myself to sleep wishing that they could just get along, That was until my Dad started hitting me, at first it would be on rare occasions then it was every night. I was so scared even now I’m scared […]

K so I have this friend who I know isn’t ok. But he refuses to talk to me! Its pissing me off becuz he always helps me and just for once I want to help him. But he won’t let me! Is there something wrong with me? Jsidjrnneidodjsndndijdnrbrh!!!!! My life already has enough shit. Why does he have to do this to me! Doesn’t he know I understand! Why won’t he let me in! I want to be there for him but how can I if he keeps me in the dark….. I knows he’s lost people in his life. So I understand that […]

Good luck to all , need to lye down / hopefully god will bless me and i wont wake up , I say that with true conviction , I wish I was the old Julia the one that danced , laughed ,Sing  and went out of my way to make other people happy. Ive always enjoyed helping people , every one has always said my Heart is bigger than my Head! ,Now my pain is Bigger than it all . Both Physical and now emotional . Im loosing it all ! FAvorite moto used to be Pray often especially for your enemies, and those whom hurt you !  […]

Well, my “manic”(happy) mood was short lived, now i am anxious. I need someone to give me tips on,For lack of a better word, how to not give a ****I just have to emphasize how serious I am. I just can’t convince myself to realize that I am overreacting and I am irrational.

{let me quickly summarize this for those who don’t want to read all my complaints:  I want to be able maybe speak my mind, and not feel embarressed about it, tell me how to not care so much}

I AM JUST SO PARANOID>

No matter how hard I try I get paranoid and think that […]

was diagnosed with fraying and tearing of Hip laberal early 2011 after suffering the pain for two years prior to that , when pain first started was under the care of tony Lambert out of dr wrights office for apox 8 mnth , kept telling him where the pain was at he told me i was to young for hip problems did a ex-ray on my back , where low and behold was nothing wrong with my back GEE ! He insisted  that I was depressed (of course i was also suffering from headaches *that I still get and crying due to the pain * […]

I’ve posted here before. I was in a bad way five days ago, so bad I was kind of sure it was the end. I started planning my suicide and making arrangements. But I left a post to warn my friends on a website and they brought me back. Not far enough to get suicide off the list, but enough not to go through with it. I called my aunt, she told my grandmother and older brother and my parents. It’s a little awkward with them acting like they are walking on eggshells and that makes me feel bad. I’ve been prescribed Citalopram by my […]

since 5th grade ive been bullied…ive been called unappropieed names and left out in gym and lunch.i feel so alone.im the only one at my school who cares…if you care come protest with me in front of mayorrahm’s office…<3 making change

THis is, like all my other posts, gunna be long and messy,I have a  hunch that I may be bipolar but I’ve been denying it. I am almost 18. I can quickly change from being really zombie-like- to five alive.

Suicidal/hopeless to an hour later acts like nothing ever happened and I am good again.

I get these very  short burst of what seems to me like mild Euphoria,some what  manic-like? where it feels like I can do anytrhing, i feel confident for once and I always laugh super easilyand sometimes unnessesarily (because of my weird sense of humor) but then it dissipates and then I get […]

Honestly I don’t know what it is. My mother smokes and drinks and hangs with her boyfriend most of the time, my dad smokes and drink way less but he’s always making me feel small and weak, my grandmother, moms mom, is somewhat supportive but also negative. My other grandmother is a complete b**** most of the time, and I live with her! What’s up with that? Not like I want to leave the world but everywhere I’ve gone I never felt like ‘this is home.’ I had ONE home from all I’ve been to and thats where I just moved from. The only place […]