after a while of coming home and crying because i was told i was not good enough and being told that it would be better if i killed myself i finally started to cut myself i never went to get professional help because i knew for me it would not help and in their files it would probably say i was a phyco so i never went. now i sometimes wish that i just had enough guts to kill myself but i am to much of a coward to even do that. there are times where i am tempted and sometimes where i am happy […]

Or like you mean nothing, because…. To the world you are one person, but to one person, you are the world.

You don’t know me, and I know not of you. But regardless, I love you, and YOU DO mean the world to me, I see alot on this site, and it fills me with a dark depression, and I just want to help everyone, I know I can’t, but I will always try to let people see the light.

Live Long, Be Happy, Smile, LOVE.

[SyKo]

I like walking through my house at night time.  When everybody else is asleep and there’s an eerie calm that flows through with the darkness to each room.  I like to think that’s what music would look like.  Not necessarily colorful and vibrant, as most people would think, just palpable and full of significance and meaning.

The flowing darkness sure has a mind of its own.  it seeps into every precipice, it fills every hole.  It doesn’t leave any corner untouched.

Every part of our world has experienced this darkness.  And yet, sometimes, it feels as though I am the only one who really knows what darkness […]

http://suicideproject.org/2012/02/happy-valentines-day/

I had an amazing day that day. But then didn’t because after the day was over, i got a call. My only living relative, my father died.

Dear World,

There feels like I have no one at all to talk to, to tell the full truth to.  Everyone freaks out or threatens to hospitalize me or gets disappointed in me or asks me why I am doing this to them.

It’s not like that.  I’m not trying to hurt anyone.  I’m not even trying to hurt myself!  But it happens whether I try to stop myself or not.

So why am I on here begging for help?  It’s because I am suicidal.  I can’t stop it.  It is a runaway train and I just feel impulsed to jump on the tracks.  I don’t know if […]

the problem is life.

the solution..

they are all temporary.

go to school, get a job, get a hobby

things to make you forget

about this terrible thing called life.

family, friends, associates

competitors, enemies, rivals,

in the end they’re one.

late at night when its dark and no ones around

reality is.

your prblems there lie next to you, with you

get up

get a cup of water

call someone

go out

come home..

still there

daily activites dont give me hope.

because when im done my problem is permanent

my problem is life

This may offend some so if it does I am apologizing in advance.

In a lot of cases when people post on here about their troubles and desire to die some remind them of people in comparatively worse situations.  And for them to be thankful that they are not dealing with that.  I do not disagree with that per se.

Still I wonder what it means when globally we consider adequate food, shelter, water, education, transport, and respectful treatment by other people a luxury.

We push and refuse to accept anything except in so many areas in life except for basic human needs. Of course I know we cannot force a […]

The below only applies to me and me only and not to others. I’m neither amazing nor special. Nothing I have done would not or could not be done by another human elsewhere. I am just a random collection of microscopic particles that happen to converge in what our species perceives as life.

 Any depression or other mental issue was just a fluctuation in my brain chemistry. Made all the worse by me having expectations and attempting to find meaning in life when the only meaning that exists is the arbitrary and subjective meaning I choose to put on and in it. Which technically speaking amounts […]

I haven’t written anything in a while. I’m not exactly sure what the reason is for that. At least part of it is that I don’t know what to write about. Someone said “write what you know”. So, here’s what I know, the whole ugly truth.

I’ve known how I’m going to die since I was 14. It was never a ‘how?’, only a ‘when?’. From my earliest struggles with depression, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to overcome it. I knew that it would never truly go away and eventually it would get so bad […]

Young father lost my children and my girl in a bad accident and just need someone

I don’t come onto this website to plead for your guys’ sympathy. Just want to get that out there.
I reach out to this website because I have absolutely no-one to tell in real life. I don’t enjoy harsh words towards me when it is about my problems, how I feel, or how “stupid” my situation sounds. But I do choose to post them instead of just erasing them because I love to hear your input, and perhaps even gain a friend or two from it.

Anyhow~  I just want to go on the longest rant of my life. And share some stuff. I’ve been depressed […]

Please for now refer to me as Inspire, I don’t share the same pain as many of those who come on here, I have a pain that no matter what it never goes away.

I currently live with my aunt since both my parents died in a car accident when I was very little, I was in that car accident and nearly died with them. Back then I didn’t know what to think and now I’m glad to be alive. I don’t have the funnest of lives I live with my aunt who has an odd hate for me. I currently am trying to stay in […]

Anybody up who wants to talk? Cant sleep

Just saying, but I never really was into poetry. I’m sorry if I say things wrong, have horrible grammar or any other mistakes as I am currently high on weed.

Now then, with that cleared up, I’d like to bring back what I might talk about right now. I am absolutely in love for my cousin and want to be with her. My friend finally hooked me up with the hubby bars I wanted as you can see. I hate the poetry on here.

Since weed is considered a truth serum (used in the 1920’s by cops on mobsters to find all the drug […]

I am really losing it.  I am researching suicide all day and all night and I can’t stop thinking about it.  It takes all my strength just not to cut and more so not to kill myself or try.  I would check myself into a hospital, but I have already been 5 times.  Plus I am in the middle of school.  I would lose a semester, for the third time.  I just don’t know what to do with myself because I feel like the longer I tough it out, the closer I come to ending it.  I wish I could stop this runaway train.

I think there are only two types of people here. 1. Those wanting to give up and die
2. Those who say it will get better, hang in there
Is there a third type?

Here we are again.
i thought i was number one,
But now i have a chance to be a black widow on your wall.
i listen in every now and,
then when your about to cry,
Your deppresion has blinded you,
from what you need the most.
i’m supposed to be your host,
but its seems i’ve dissapeared.
the important thing is to remember,
i am always here.
i listen in every now and then when you scream,
though it looks like i m still,
as if i was serene.
your noise shakes my webs,
that i have spun neatly just for you.

When will my soul grow old?
To die, to hide, to break, to take, to breathe,
And not worry about what is left underneath the tree.
It was all built on lies, under water.
Beneath the sea.
Little old me waiting for the grass,
To grow, to change color of a brilliant green.
To watch the patches of dirt be hidden and never show.
To hide the emotions built up inside a soul,
To never let happen an exchange of events.
From one person to another.
Heart to heart is painful, but you have to make the best.
Says a shrub of wisdom […]

It started out small. I would feel sad and tired and utterly hopeless for a few hours, maybe one night at the most. I would self harm or cry myself to sleep or rant in my diary until 2 AM. The next morning I would tell myself that yesterday was “just a bad day” and that everyone had them once in a while, so it was totally normal.

I went from having a “bad day” once in a while, to having a “bad day” once a month, to having several “bad days” a month…and before I knew it, I’d become the person I am now. I […]