6 months ago, on Aug. 10, 2011, my best friend/cousin Keira, a beautiful girl full of energy and love and courage, tried to kill herself after bullies hurt her physically. She succeded in her attempt. I was 11 minutes late from our meeting place at the Chain Bridge in Budapest, and i could have prevented her death. She jumped off the bridge, but would have survived if not for the fact she hit her head. She was 13,&would have been14on Dec. 10, in 5 months . RIP Keira, we’ll always remember you.
amber died today, at 10:30 AM, January 10th. 2012. I just got out of school thanks to exams, and she was sleeping at my house. I will never ever forget that sight…I will definetly have nightmares. Sorry for telling everyone my ‘life-story’ but i feel so much better when i tell someone, even if it is on the internet. Please, DON’T TRY TO KILL YOURSELVES!!!!! Life is worth it, trust me. Things will get better, I promise.
I can say alot about myself. I could tell you i’m happy and have wonderful days with wonderful people and everything’s going just wonderful. But that would be a lie. I’m not happy. Things and people aren’t wonderful. This isn’t a movie where the hopeless maiden gets saved by prince charming or something. No. That never happens and whoever told you that needs to get smacked in the face. At 6, i was mallested for 2 straight years. At 10, i was overweight. At 12/13, i had an eating disorder. At 14, i gave up my everything to a boy who never cared a thing […]
The sun that used to shine for me,
Dimming ever so slowly,
Hides behind a cloud,
And slowly the sky begins to cry.
Teardrops gently kiss the petal,
Of a lily,
The flower of death,
Then slowly begins to break it apart.
Parable of Encouragement :
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the […]
so I admitted to my parents that I wanted to commit suicide after getting into another big argument… but they don’t give a fuck. so whatever then. fuck it.
Last night I was warned again.
 Last night i was dancing on the line.
They’ve had enough.
I’m going back.
I won’t go quietly.
I’d rather die than fade
I watched for a while a string of “It gets better” videos. I kept thinking to myself – does it really get better? I think that through time, I have fooled myself into believing that for some, and perhaps for me it can actually get better. I don’t believe that anymore.
You don’t have to identify as a member of LGBT to feel the social isolation, the loneliness and the despair that this world brings to some in great amounts, and to others so little. I know now that some people are just simply meant to be happy, while others have to fight everyday to convince […]
ok, so my exam didn’t go too well….
I managed to write in pen, but only write three paragraphs, for which at best I will get eight marks and it’s an eighty mark exam….
For some reason I think I failed….
It’s nothing to be proud of, but I kinda spoke about it like I was.
And the reason why?…. I told myself that I could only write three paragraphs, so I didn’t even get past question one, basically. I finished my paragraphs at half nine, and so I sat there got an hour and a half-ish doing nothing. I even got told off for drawing on my […]
I have only posted two posts on this site as I am only new and it has already made me feel some what better. I just want to say a general thanks to everyone on here, for helping others and just being there when no one else is.
Sing me to sleep…
I’m tired and I want to go to bed
Sing to me and then leave me alone
Don’t try to wake me in the morning cause I will be gone…
Don’t feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go…
I’m 15, 16 in 3 days and he’s 20. To him and I we see no problem, it’s just us and nothing else. Age is just a number and our maturity levels were so close. I love him but society got the better of him. He told me he loves me but not the way he loves her, he told me my age finally became a problem and that him and I ‘aren’t in the same boat’. He left me with no goodbye. Now everyday I lay in my bed and just think of him. I can’t live without him, I don’t want to live […]
I get so depressed over the silliest things. I don’t have any decent reason for feeling as shit as I do. The guy I actually some-what love left me for another girl, my dad hates me and hasn’t talked to me for days. I have pretty much no friends. I have to come on this shit to vent. To quit everything and stay in my room all day every day would be a dream come true. I hate everything.
Today I was dropped from school just when I was actually dealing with my depression better this happenes I feel worthless. School was all I had going for me & it was taking away from me. No matter how hard I try I feel like everyone gives up on me . I have nothing else to live for & Im 16 years old & I’m ready to end my life. I should have ambition & dreams but living in this cruel unfair world I can’t reach my goals so why hope & dream, if it’s pointless.
My names Sydney and I just don’t know what to do anymore 🙁 I try and try my hardest to go day by day without cutting and 🙁 its just been a fail 🙁 its been about more then a year since I started cutting and I regrett the first time I did it and everything 🙁 its done nothing but cause problems for me 🙁 I started cutting because of my friend Esmerelda she would take most of her anger and put it out on me and everything I could barely deal with my problems which was grades and stuff but even if I […]
Well I told my brother that is close to my age about my 19 year old brother sexually abusing me! He Said he already knew about ! Well I just find out my brother use to do things with my sister that always taunt me about being sexual abused . Well I Thought my brother that’s close would understand when I Told him but he said “you could of said no”. He said “you probably had wanted it” and that “everyone get touched I’t Isn’t that big of a deal. I started too feel bad again and said to myself I probably did wanted I’t. […]
someone whos not a complete and uter asshoole who migth understnad what im going througha dn might understand and be able to consule me and let me do the same to them if they need help i guess i jsut wnat that one but i dooublt ile ever get it fuck this life….i hate nights again.. the blakcnes and utter loneliness brings back evertyhing and it keeps me from sleeping i fcuking hate it
I just want to sleep forever, is that too much to ask for?
I haven’t taken in fresh air for four months now. I haven’t even gone outside to take the trash out.Every day I order take away and I distract myself by playing my video games and watching my shows. I haven’t spoken to anyone except for the delivery guys. I’ve shut myself off from everything. None of  my friends can contact me now, nor can they physically come to me. I did this all so I would have no other alternative.
Can it really be called living, when every second, all you can think about […]
Im okay.
Okay, im alright.
Alright, im miserable. I go to school and hang out with all my friends who can’t see past my laughter and bright smiles. I wear long sleeved cause I can’t let anyone see what i did, what they would do if they knew, i have no idea. They’d probably leave me, they don’t tend to deal with those kind of people. Wow, i’ve got them fooled. Mayday parade, weed, and a nail file is what’s making me go on. I have alot of good memories, but for some reason i have forgotten any bits of happy days and sunlight. My inside is cold […]
For a boy of 22, I have much more than most have. I am a full-time student, full-time worker, and I just recently won the heart of a beautiful girl, whom had given up on relationships years past. It seems really nice, doesn’t it? That’s because it is….
I have come to the conclusion that the happier I get, the greater the self-affliction thoughts pour into my mind. I’m sure I have some sort of mental ailment. In 2011, I started losing weight…almost 100 lbs gone since last April! I got a job finally (no longer a bum), full-time student now, and I caught my dream […]