i can’t seem to put into words exactly how i feel. I’m 26 and alone. Grade A (or F) loser. No car, job, friends. I have no drivers license. I’ve never had one. Had a girlfriend once. Only person I opened up to, but still withheld a lot. Wasn’t very ambitious in life. Don’t blame her for leaving me. Spent most of my life in a haze it seems. Ready to die may do it this weekend. Tried killing myself seven months ago by charcoal burning. Room got to hot and I blacked out woke up outside of hotel room. Felt stupid and even worse […]

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die, but I feel that if I don’t get help soon, I think it might just happen.

I want to know what I should do. It’s almost midnight. Should I call 911? I just really don’t trust myself to be alone and so I need to know what I should do. I don’t have anyone that I’m willing to talk to, I just want to leave this place. I need to. I’m going to do something if I don’t and I really don’t want to die.

So, what do you think I should do?

Im so hurt at the moment… I lost my virginity to a 24 year old guy I’ve only known a month. Im 18, I made a promise to myself I would wait til marriage to have sex. It was important to me, it meant something. I’ve been this good girl my whole life, I rarely date. I would never do something like that, but I did…. I would barely let a boyfriend kiss me. I guess for the past year I’ve been in a spiral downfall and depression. My mom all my brothers moved, and I was left in this town. I’m still in high […]

For the younger people (and those not), here is a site you might find useful. It has a LOT of free course material on endless subjects from science to in this case, ‘the philosophy of happiness’.

http://www.cosmolearning.com/documentaries/philosophy-a-guide-to-happiness/

Just remember, life does not change with time, rather it changes with effort & insight.

Thats the main page and as you can see the site covers everything from anthropology to Veterinary Science. It is a free educational website for students and teachers

http://www.cosmolearning.com/

Other good websites that present interesting information for those that seek it is Ted.com & Bigthink.com.

Hope this helps and is of interest and even broadens your perspective on things […]

I HATE THIS. I feel so many things, and at the same time I feel nothing. I spend part of my day believing that everything will turn out alright, and I spend the other part wondering how I can even fathom waking up tomorrow. I’ve managed to turn my life upside down (feel free to have a look at previous posts for something of an explanation, if you really care). I’ve hurt one of the people I love and need most. Not that she knows how much I need her in my life. She said I keep too much to myself, that I’m too secretive. […]

Wow, its been a long 35 years. This story started along time before I was born. Lets start with a US Marine who had one too many tours in vietnam, my mothers stepfather( my spelling is really bad sorry) Not sure if it ws the war or just an inate evil, the man that is still alive, did horrible things to my mother and my aunt. My mother and father were married in in the early 70s thing were great for both of them until 1980, my dad recked his truck on the way homefrom work, broke his neck, never walked again, full quad, they […]

I haven’t had anything to drink for nearly four days know and I’m in a lot of pain I think I’m hallucinating but surely that means the end is near?

I am writing this down for its (hopefully) therapeutic value. My hope is that upon reading this over I will realize the inherent ridiculousness of the position being advanced by this tract and be able to move on with my life. Here goes nothing.

I want nothing. I would rather not exist. I would rather never have existed, but since this is impossible, I wish to die. I do not want to hurt anyone through the cessation of my existence. I simply want to not exist. I have lived for 24 years and the only happiness I have ever felt has been fleeting and momentary. Would […]

Hiya I am a 21year old and since I was about 12 all I have felt is despair and hopelessness. I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I attempted to jump off a bridge last night but just my luck the police turned up. I feel useless I can’t even kill myself properly. They took me to the mental hospital but they didn’t even speak to me just told the police to take me home. So looks like I was right all along I can’t be helped otherwise they would help me right? So it looks like my only option is suicide at […]

These wombs wont seen to heal this pain is just to real theres just to much that time can not erase

…… i love this song

Reaching Out For Help,
But Nobody Grabs Your Hands.
Wanting Somebody To Care,
But People Pass By.
They Stare,
Watch You Cry,
Watch You Break-
Piece By Piece
As They Stare,
They Whisper,
“At Least Its Not Me”

I haven’t cared what has happened to me for years now. I have been living with this silent recklessness, if that’s what you want to call it, for far too long. I will stand in the middle of the highway hoping someone with change lanes and i will get caught in the cross fire, i go for walks in the middle of the night into the dangerous places in town in the hope that i will be ‘in the wrong place at the wrong time’ and get shot for seeing something or just provoking someone. I don’t use my brakes properly in the car, i […]

I want to talk to someone but jist dont know what to say where to start i just need help

Heaven and Hell exist, but only in yourself…

He is not the Devil

The Devil does not exist

He is the darkness that lives within all of us…

sometimes you ask yourself why?? we do these stupid things when in the end we die.. but were all still alive as we walking down the road to the pathway of life.. and even tho we try.. its never easy … sometimes we get lazy ..its hard to stay busy ..we smoke a little weed and we get a little tipsy.. but its fine we need some fun times.. sometimes its good to do a few lines… but don’t be stupid and keep your mind …. you’ll need it.. this life is hard .. but if you believe you know you’ll go far … and […]

ok….. Monday is only sixish days away… And I can’t wait.

People are trying to talk me out of it, they say that things will get better, but I don’t really believe them.

I just don’t want to leave behind on of my closest friends…Lauren. If you ever get to read this then just know that if I ever were to do something then its not your fault. ILoveYou.<3.
Please don't ever blame yourself….

I can't cope much longer, living this way…also I love you, Jayden…. You are the best nephew anybody could ever ask for…..<3

Well, this is it. I am nearing the end. I can feel it coming. I am so traumatised I have trouble even identifying ‘this’ as ‘it’. It would be more accurate to say that was that, or it was that, but never this is it.  So I’ll start again:

It was that. fwiw. A lifetime assault on a human being who never got up from the first punch.

Sorry, that’s no good either. I’m usually okay finding words. It’s probably a measure of how frightened I am that words hurt too. I cannot pick up a ringing telephone. It has got to the point where I have […]

are we half alive when we dream? or do we dream because we are half alive? would life be better if we were in a dream? if we continue as we are when we die.. how do we know some of us arnt already dead? what do we live for? if we have pain and hate and love and death… how can we be happy? tragic things … what makes life all worth it.. if nothing was worth it.. wede all be gone… so obviasly … there is always sompthing worth living for… what if we never felt pain.. even though … life has torn […]

How should I start off? Well here it goes, hi I am a international student (18 years old) and I am to graduate this year in May. The thing is I have never had friends since I was in the 7th grade, which was when my so called friends decided that it was cool to bully and ignore me. The one moment that still lasts in my head was the field trip… and it still plays in my head like a recurring nightmare… going on the train with my ex-friends and getting bullied throughout the field trip. Not only that but sleeping a spare tent […]