I’m falling down the hole
Not to some mystical fucking fairyland
Not some trippy magical adventure
The hole is dark
The hole is lonely
Devoid of life
It’s cold down here
The kind of damp sickening cold
This is where I belong
Isolated so I can’t hurt anyone
My heart slowly dies
Like the last glowing coal
Of a once raging inferno
I forget once in a while
Life almost feels real
I feel like I’m normal
I matter
Then the reality sets in
I don’t belong here
Not just “here” but even on earth
They always tell people on the edge it gets better

I’m nothing but empty. I’m numb to everything. I don’t know what I want. I don’t even care.
I have friends.
I have family.
Most people don’t like me.
But they don’t know me.
They don’t know what I’ve gone through and what I’m still dealing with.
I don’t want them to know. I don’t want to be looked at differently.
I just want to be accepted.
I want to be happy.
I want to feel happy.
I’d like to forgive and forget.
Forget. It’s what everyone else has done.
I’m pitiful.
I’m nothing.
I’m unhappy.
I’m not alone.

I want to be alone. […]

I want to die. Kill me please.

-End

I dont want to go to sleep and wake up alive.
I dont wanna wake up and feel like i should had died in my sleep.
Im very tired.
but i want to died not having to be tired anymore.
Im beating myself up.
Staying awake when im very tired
Falling asleep
but aways waking up wondering…
why am i still here
why am i breathing this wrecked air.
I dont even wanna get out of bed
or leave my house anymore.
I’m just…. very tired :/

I open my eyes and all I can see is a blur.

Something is running down my face.

I feel lost and confused.

Why do I feel this way?

It comes and goes when it wants to.

Its like a plague that wont go away.

It has no reason to be here.

But it stays any ways.

I wish it would go and leave me alone.

For alone is best for me.

Emotionally im dead right now. My mom just came into my room and asked me whats wrong because i dont “seem like myself” and i told her i was just tired.

The truth is im not tired im dead. I cant face my mothers reaction to me telling her all i can think about these days is dying. All i want to to is be happy but that seems so hard for me right to even think about right now. Im kinda in a limbo with my life right now. I dont want to live, i dont weant to die because i cant do that to […]

From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov’d — I lov’d alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff […]

There is no point.

She swallowed them down to the very last pill, she cut up her arms until you couldn’t see flesh, she scratched up her legs for just being her, because she longs for the day when she’s happy with herself. She’s waited for so long, could it be the night? The night she’s been waiting for all her life? She leaves a note on the window sill, and goes back to her bedroom to do the deed. After the last bottle of pills, she tucks herself into bed and knows that better is yet to come. No more loneliness. No more misery. As she closes her […]

The depression comes and goes. Each time it comes it’s more intense. I’m 56 and feel like a total failure, pointless and useless. A burden. I’ve been watching The Bridge again, wishing I had the strength to make one last visit and end this. All I really want is to go to sleep and never wake up. But the bridge seems like it’s my only real option. 4am and I can’t sleep. So lonely, so tired, such a misfit in life. Please….Sleep, come and put me out of my misery.

Hi this is my second post on this site. I’ve been trying for so long to get better, to stop cutting, to stop drinking but it’s just getting worse. The only person that kind of helps is my doctor who I can’t stand being around because he’s so perfect and has the best job, best car, best body, best life and I feel like every time I drag my sorry ass in there, he just thinks I’m disgusting and useless. I can’t stand it. I don’t even know how to talk or even how I feel anymore..I don’t know if I want to get better […]

Did anyone see my post on a page called suicide. Where I wrote to go to suicideproject.com, did any of you choose to go to it, cuz it seems like there’s a couple new faces…

Today, my mom took me to get a haircut. I got out of doing it when I told her the hairstyle I wanted from Heroes, Peter Petrelli. We went to Gamestop and bought 2 games and a mic, went to a secondary store and I bought five tom Clancy books. Played one new game and it sucked, second one was good…. Wait this isnt a fucking journal… Hmm… Wish it was… Still actively suicidal and depressed… Voices echo in my head from encounters today, mostly my mom n uncle screaming at me, uncle flicking my ears, and even my own voicE yelling back. My uncle […]

She turns on the water.

Making sure its cold.

Very cold.

Takes off her bra and underwear, slowly, but without hesitation,

She steps in the water,

Foot by foot,

Seeing her black toe nails under the water, looks beautiful to her,

Why?

No one will ever really know.

She sits down in the tub.

Her whole body in the freezing water.

Seeing her scars,

The wide, pink, teathered up scars on her thy.

She draws her attention away from the scars and slides her self down to be under the water.

She stays there,

Just stays, waitng to run out of breath.

She loves the feeling of running out of breath.

She comes back up.

Looks to her right,

And grabs her blade.

Her trusty […]

I sacrifice so much important shit for my “friends.”

So much fucking shit.

Guys, happieness, time, love, laughter, other things.. so many fucking important things.

I have no one.

No one.

I want to leave.

I WANT TO FUCKING LEAVE.

Seriously,

Please.

Just,

Let me be gone.

hi, I’m new on this forums and I stumbled across it after I was thinking about killing myself but I just need to talk to people that could just help

She is so beautiful.  I dont really know her, but Ive talked to her a little.  When I tell her goodbye at the end of the day and she says it back I get a big dumb smile on my face.  But shes from a different world and my chances with her are at 0%.  Then again my chances with anybody are 0%, so my chance with her is as good as with anybody else.  But it doesnt matter because Im me.  And thats not fair.

I’ve been having panic attacks for quite a while now.. Heart beats fast, numbness, shortness of breath, dizziness light head.. And I had the worst one of my life yesterday. Saw a girl have a seizure and it traumatized me.. I’ve been having them non stop pretty much all day today and I need help… This is ruining my life.! I hate the feeling I can’t do anything.. I’m scared to do anything its not fun.

Well so much for my happy day. Yesterday was amazing i felt like i could conquer the world, i felt as if I could see the world in color again. Today i feel depressed, sad, alone, dying inside. I want to cut so bad. I want to take those scissors and drag it across my wrist. I dont know what to do. I miss my grandmother alot today ( she died four years ago). If i coulf just have one last moment with her i would want to say, its going t be ok nanny, you have touched so many peoples lives, more than you […]

I have a beautiful wife and two children. I stopped really connecting with my wife about 5 years ago. I love her, and she’s a great loving person. Her intentions are always good, and she has a good head on her shoulders, but like I said, I don’t have the same connection with her. I’m no prize, I’m a solid 60lbs overweight, and recently was laid off. Most people would probably say I’m out of my league with her. Despite this, I feel I’m trapped.

I could stay here the rest of my life with the security of the marriage, but it isn’t fair to either […]