I am almost 31 and getting very tired of living and struggling. Won’t
go into my life story, however. I’m strongly considering suicide for
the past 2 or 3 years, but have not attempted it yet mostly out of
fear of pain and/or failure. Also, to a lesser extent, some
fear of death itself. But more afraid of scary, painful dying process
hence reluctance to take overdose, etc., to date. Thoughts of suicide
are with me all day every day. And I want to know I have an out. The
medications (except Valium, which is mine) I have access to belong to
a diabetic I […]

My struggle against The Beast

the grouch
“i was a young boy that had big plans now im just another shitty old man i dont have fun and i hate everything the world owes me so fuck you glory days dont mean shit to me i drank a six pack of apathy lifes a ***** and so am i the world owes me so fuck you wasted youth and a fistful of ideals i had a young and optimistic point of view wasted youth and a fistful of ideals i had a young and optimistic point of view ive decomposed yet my guts getting fat oh my god im turning […]

Guys, I am scared. I can’t sleep in the night and have been crying from day to night, my mind is restless. I have been swallowing pills, drinking shampoo, cutting myself, the urge to jump down from a building is so strong, but my mum’s devasted face is haunting me, I don’t want my family to live in guilt. What should I do? I am so scared, so scared that my life will be ended by myself.

in order to live

anyone know how long it takes to bleed out if u cut along side the vein?

So I know I was all happy because things were getting better. But they’re getting bad again.

I can’t go to Canada because it’s too expensive. So now I am staying here all summer and my mom expects me to be social. It’s not much to ask if I was normal. But I’m not and she’ll never understand because I can’t tell her about my depression. I gave her all the clues, I tried to tell her but all that came out was "I don’t want to talk to people." She’s clueless. I’ve even cut myself and she hasn’t noticed.(I’m not doing that for attention. I […]

I want to be myself
But my depression won’t let me
It’s like some monster that has captured me
I’m not the same
It forbids me to have any fun
It wants me dead
And it gets rid of anyone that stops that feeling
That feeling that you’re not worth anything
And even the simple things
That make you happy
It makes sure you don’t enjoy them
It makes me hate the sight of anyone
But mostly
It makes me hate life
And wish I was never even born.

People underestimate the power of this monster
They don’t see what it does to someone
How it […]

I feel as if i don’t have any. I mean i have many friends, but just not any that i think will be there when i need them. They never call or text me unless they have problems that they want me to help with. I feel like that’s selfish of them. They never call or text me to see how i am. It just..it hurts to feel like no one out there gives a damn about you and your friendship. I just want to tell all of them to fuck off.  But if i do that then i won’t have anything to start with.

So I stumbled upon this website a few years ago when I was googling different topics relating to suicide. It definitely has changed a lot. But now I’m back… Reading bits and pieces and posting here and there.

A little about my story…  I have been, as my therapist calls me, a functional depressive. I go to work. I have two jobs actually. One of them, not the best, but with a great company…. And I just found out I will be working in the department I’ve wanted to for the past 7 years, using my degree even! I went to college and got my degree […]

My best friends are the cuts on my left wrist. I’m not sure that anyone likes me anymore, and if they do they shouldn’t. But my scarlet lines are the only things that i can depend on to make me feel a little better. What can i say, im an addict.

The only thing that was keeping me alive was my brother and sister (they’re younger than me and idolize me) but now, if anything they could use the hit of reality. They’re a pair of spoiled brats who throw tantrums if they don’t get what they want. It just annoys the f*** out of me. Maybe i should just go. I’m an inconvenience to everyone.

I drink bitterness from the cup of life, being used and thrown away like a piece of refuse. Trusted in someone who did not care, un-loved and forgotten.

No, not physically speaking. But I think that might be one of the very few remaining ways. The color has run out of the world like so much water off your car windshield. I have considered myself dead for some time now (sorry, I can’t really come up with a more definite answer at the moment). Would you like to know the dumbest part? Of course you do. The only thing holding me to this life is my student loans. How pathetic is that? Call me crazy, but if I’m going to kill myself then I would at least like to do it with the […]

Hi, I am a 28 yrs old guy and from where I am right now, life looks completely hopeless. ]

I was always very good at what I did… at school (was top in the class), work (among the best), etc. Three years back, I lost my dream job (where I was slated to reach a very high management position), because someone else screwed with my work. I took another job after sometime, in another industry because I was not sure what I really wanted to do with my life. I was good at this job too, but not happy as this was not what I […]

wow i havent been on here in a while i though id let everyone who cares know how im doin…ive gotton a lot better i still have my times when i gotta fight hard to stay out of the depression slup but im manging to hold my head up:) ive made new friends and did a lot of work to get my self happy agian. i still have the most amazin boyfriend ever and the worlds best friends and haileys doin great she can finnaly say all her abc’s well i guess thats all if anyone need someone to talk to im here to help:)

I feel like SHIT today. I could berely get out of bed. And today is supposed to be ”family day”. Great! I don’t wana go anywhere or do anything or see anyone. I just want to be aloneee. The cuts that I did a few weeks back are now scars. But I cut pretty bad so the scars are very noticable, even with my newer cuts. But I like them. They remind me. And in some way, make me feel a bit better. But they also make me wana cut more, and make more just like that. I make sure I pick the scabs so […]

I have to wear a bathingsuit/bikini today.  I’m insecure about how I look.  All I own is a bikini because my bathing suit looks like crap.  We’re going to Dorney/water park.  I hate how I look. 

I  wish I looked better.  I have pink hair (under my blonde) AND I LOOK BAD!  My legs and ass are huge.  I don’t know how I’m going to go out today and like… take off my shorts.  Ew…

I hate it..

how can people be so mean.

so cruel.

id rather you slapped me in the face than speak words.

someone slaps you – your face shows the pain

but the cuts heal, and in the end your only left with better reflexes.

when you say the words, you crush people.

and every time you bring them down, there self worth fades

and slowly there left cold and pathetic thinking they are everything they were told

‘your fucking useless’

‘your so fucking dumb’

‘god your a fucking waste of space’

at first you laugh – you know thats not true.

then you think, hey.. maybe it is

then you think. who the fuck needs me here, im such a […]