I’ve not posted here for a while, didn’t really need to. But my heads a bit of a crap pot today, so I thought I might as well.

I’ve definitely stopped self-harming. Havn’t done it in months. I’ve been using bio-oil on the scars on my shoulder, and fuck me does it work wonders. I’d say within the next few weeks, I’ll be able to wear a tank top. Wow, that’d be fucking wonderful.

I’m keeping the ones on my thigh. I dunno why. I guess I just like the feeling of having my past right there.

I’ve definitely been happier. Still get my bad days […]

I think I’m gay. I’ve started feeling different towards some guys I know for the past year. And I use to watch porn a lot, but recently, I can’t seem to get horny from watching straight couples having sex. I don’t really think its a phase because these feelings seem to have grown slowly for the past few years. I go to a all-boy school, not sure if that has influenced me, to be frank I find some of these boys really disgusting like some of them don’t wash.

I don’t know if I should express these feelings or if I should wait a little while […]

I’m so lonely.  My best friend has been out of town for the past few weeks and might be gone the whole summer, and my other friends havent even talked to me in a month.  Not even a call.  No one cares about me.  I cried more in the past three days then I have in a month.  I just sit in my room and cry and think about how lonely I am.  Why cant anybody like me.  I just wish I knew what people hate about me so much.  For a little while I pretend a girl is sitting next to me, talking but […]

To be honest, I really don’t know what to say or where to begin. I stumbled onto this site today and my main reason for joining is because I don’t think my family or friends would really know to begin to understand.
I really feel like the walls are just tumbling in, and I’m trying to run, trying to find a way out but it just seems like there’s no open door. I really wish I could just have one moment of clarity. Like just recently, things weren’t going to well, and I told one of my good friend how I had been feeling lately […]

I have been reading this site for a while now and decided to register and write about myself. I don’t know when my problems started, when I started to loose confidence, motivation, joy ect. I remember a time that I always mention when talking to a new “help” person. I was sitting on the matt in primary school, I would have been roughly ten and I just remember feeling very self-consciose, very seperate from everyone else. I found that a very unpleasant experience. I don’t know if it was the first time I had experienced it or maybe it was to a degree that I […]

I don’t fucking have a dad. He’s dead. Somebody should be unbusy today. I’m not even in the mood to mope. I just want somebody dadless like me to show up so that I won’t be so friggin’ bored.

Someone feel free to message me meggypoo_cutie@hotmail.com i’d like to here storys and help you all <3 life is a struggle <3

never thought that i’d be here.

i have fuzzy days and days that are okay. i wish i had enough strength in me to go through with it, but i’m too weak. i’m not enough.

Ok so, I need some answers.

I need to know where to hide a blade (pencil sharpener blade, small)

I’ve been hiding it in my phone cover, but they slip out.. I’ve had multiple.

I also need it on me 24/7.

So any suggestions? Please tell me.

How could I be so blind?
How could I have let someone in that would hurt me so much.  Threaten my future.  And humiliate me.
How could he say he wants me back after he said all of that.
Why does this happen to me?
Why don’t these pills make my body fail.
9 sleeping pills later-

Gonna go see a movie with my dad, brother, & his girlfriend.

I don’t think I can stand through 2 insane hours of tv.

How odd.

Today, I thought it will be a good day. I was wrong. I am tired of how people treat me miserably. Someone told me that because of my face that most of the time, I get bullied. I thought that when you reached a certain age that the bullying will just stop. Apparently, that is not the case. Bullying even happens at work place. Sometimes, people that were given a little bit of power become so abusive. I always asked myself why do I really care so much about work— especially when you are just doing your best and […]

I’ve been ostracized. I’ve been victimized. I’m vulnerable. I’m broken. Emptiness lingers at the top my fingers as the rest against my cold shiny comfort of my blade. I’ve stared at walls. I’ve been thrown up against them. Beaten to the ground. Trying to cover my ears so it can muffle the sound. The sound of sorrow. The sound of my life. I’ve never belonged. Incapable of emotional attachments. Afraid of trust. But not death. Cause death is my friend. He promised to take me to lunch. The final supper. I will feast. I crave for companionship. Someone to hold me. Nothing more nothing less. […]

I’m saying goodbye now. The inevitable has been prolonged for too long. I’m sick of everything piling up & having no way to go about sorting it all out. I can’t stand for 2 seconds without being knocked over & left with my face in the ground. It’s too much.

So with that, I say goodbye to you all & good luck with your endevours.

damn I wanna die. I WANT TO DIE. WHY CANT I JUST DIE?!?!  I NEED THE PILLS. MY KNIFE. I NEED TO CUT. he’s pissed off at me now, he told me that. he said I caused him pain and lack of sleep. I dont deserve him. IM SO FUCKING STUPID. IM SELFISH. IM A FREAKING MONSTER. ALL I DO IS CAUSE PAIN TO OTHERS . shit I cant think anymore. this is stupid. life is stupid. im stupid. dammit! maybe I could kill myself tonight. ah whatever. no one cares about this anyway.

I’m so sick of people. I’m so sick of myself.

My impression is that this is a net website to catch people who are suicidal and to discourage them…without them really noticing it. Anyways if you think it is your right to commit suicide then let your lawmakers know how you feel and get the law changed, or move to where it is legal if your looking for the pleasant way out. Life is not fair or enjoyable to the poor, sick, depressed but your subconscious is stronger then our consciousness as it would be hard to get the guts or Balls to pull off a suicide alone and completely. I like […]

why do i feel like hes not the right one is it cuz of the age difference. is it cuz he hits me a little harder than i think he should is it cuz hes in a lot of trouble or is it cuz i am hate myself so much that i feel like i deserve no one idk i am just to tired to think so i guess i will stay with him until things get really bad.

I feel… Sad
tormented even.
…I dont know anymore
i just.. want to give up
dont even feel like
finishing anything…
I dont even know
if i will finish this
I guess mine life…
is betraying me.
Everyone crowding me
with their pity sympthy.
Stop feeling bad for me
its just… makes me wanna cry.
No more cheerfulness
and no more getting mine hopes up.
I am… just going to let
everything pass me by.
Be alone
like other people are
and hide from the rest
of the world.

I remember when I was happy. so young and innocent. then you hit the teen years, and your life just completely turns around. like when you start to understand pain and agony and all that crap, when you really find out who people are, you fall into a deep hole you can’t get out of cause no one cares you’re there.
I have come to realize that this world is a beautiful place, that life would be worth living, if only it weren’t for those careless, hurtful people who don’t give a damn about you. I wish I could help all those suicidal […]