In where I live (which is a successful little Asian country always mistaken to be part of China), it is an offense to kill yourself, or to attempt to kill yourself. If you try to kill yourself and fail, you face legal consequences.

The following opinion is a personal one:

Why? It is both a means of punishment, and a means of prevention. We punish those who try to kill themselves because it is irresponsible to do so – the economy and society suffers and becomes less efficient in the market and in the society. We prevent people from trying to kill themselves since they would incur […]

I can’t do this anymore. I want to tell someone what he’s doing to me, what he’s been doing to me for months, but I can’t. So I just let it go, keep it all inside, Except for on here, because here, no one can tell me It doesnt matter.

“Hello?” I found it odd that my phone had rung, at first I thought I had set a timer of some sort, because no one ever calls me.

“Hi Violet, want to hang out?”

I almost about dropped the phone, because I didn’t want to ever hear his voice again. It was bad enough I had to see […]

It’s been a long time since my last post.

I’ve been in a psychiatric hospital from mid December until mid February, being very depressed and suicidal. During that time my husband of 1 1/2 years decided to end the marriage, and withdrew all the promises he had made earlier about supporting me until I am back up on my feet. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. He then also refused to move out of our house, until a property settlement is reached, at his lawyers advice. When I came home from hospital his attitude was so hostile it became clear to me that I […]

Just some of my poetry

I’ve been trying to type something out but I’m tired and just can’t pull it together so I figure the least I can do is say I made it through another day.

Thanks, you folks seem like good people.

I like your smile,
I like your vibe,
I like your style,
But that’s not why I love you.
You’re so beautiful,
But that’s not why I love you.
I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you, is you,
Being you, just you.
Yeah the reason I love you,
Is all that we’ve been through,
And that’s why I love you.

Back when I was suicidal (roughly 3 months ago) I was getting ready to end my life, I had a list of things that I needed, it comprised
of a will, good bye letters to people who cared, funeral arrangements, transfer of financial assets, clean cloths, the suicide and kit and finally the track list. The thing is, I found that having the right music helps you clear your mind and lets to make your decision easier and if you made the decision allows you to stick to it. Mine was this :
Kleerup ft. Lykke Li – Until We Bleed

This […]

Well I obviously hate my life… I go back and forth between the thought of committing suicide and the thought of running away. I’d rather run away but I have nowhere to go and nothing to follow… so I guess the only option I have is to kill myself.

It’s nothing spontaneous, I’ve felt suicidal for the past 5-6 years of my life… since the time my brother got sick and died. He was 14 years older than me and was in the military. At that time he was around 20 yrs old, I was very little. One day he just fainted at work and after […]

One thing you will never get back is last week, or last night, or even last year. You can sit and dwell on every stupid mistake and thing you have done for as long as you feel you need too, and hey, if it helps you, well then you’re pretty fucking one in a million. No matter what you are going through, always remember that there is atleast one person going through something so much worst, it may not seem like it, but it’s true. Don’t ever loose hope.

i learned from my mistakes and look where i am now,

– i’m still breathing.

Do you have to love yourself to love another? If so, i may never love… and then whats the point?

he was the one guy i could talk to, the one guy i felt safe with. I can’t stand the t hought of him being with someone else. Things just seem to spin out of control when his name shows up on my caller i.d. or a text message. He held me when i was upset and now i have no one. i don’t feel safe not even in my own home let alone in my own mind. i have bruises everywhere andscars on my wrists. he doesn’t know about them  atleast i dont think he does. if he does he hasnt said so. i cant […]

I always have thoughts and very amplified tendencies to take my own life.

On the 14th of March, I ODed in school during class at around 11.40am. (I left class mid-way and went to the study area, where there were students studying but nobody really noticed what I was doing.) When I first started with the pills, I was rather apprehensive. Nonetheless, each pill made me more daring and soon enough, I felt like the consequences didn’t matter or scare me anymore. I popped the pills down one-by-one on an empty stomach, until a friend (who was rushing to another class) walked by coincidentally and stopped […]

so last night i busted up my hand with a hammer, by accident. i was trying to open a can of paint, because i couldnt find a screw driver.then i fell and twisted my damn ankle, and even more so im ready to put my uncle in the hospital, i have so many bruises from fighting wiht him, and last night he smacked my arm with a level, he said he didnt smack me that hard well ya he did, i have a welt. yes i am extremely pissed off. and to top it all off, i barely got any sleep last night and i […]

I just dont know whether to take too many pills or drown. I’ve had enough. I am disgusting I am vile I am so angry inside

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/09/most-alien-looking-place-on-earth.html

Maybe we all should just drop everything, and go there,
to really truly experience LIFE again..
to feel and realize and be inspired,
knowing that perhaps, this earthly-life is worth to be lived with our every breath
only if we flee ourselves from our prison-wall, whatever that is..

I wana do it again, even more than fucking before.

it’s actually stareing at me. I’m really fucking scared, I regret ever starting. fuck I really do. I’ve ruined myself.

Depression is being tired, when you’re never able to sleep.
Depression is pity, when you hate other’s sympathy.
Depression is longing for more, when you never acknowledge what’s already there.
Depression is the feeling of self-hatred, when the arrogance is concurrently overwhelming.
Depression is the repugnance of emotional discomfort, when a sanctuary for physical affliction exists.
Depression is loathing at your own success, when the ones around you prosper.
Depression is perfectionism, when you could care less about anything else.
Depression is the rock that you choose to constantly trip over, when all you have to do is move around it…
Depression is the ultimate […]

Hey, I feel bad about posting on here, mostly because im not a druggy or have a particularly bad life. Im a 19 year old college student with a loving family. That being said i do hate myself and have tried to kill myself numerous times. I cut myself every other week or so, always in hidden areas like shoulders or thighs and always disinfected with rubbing alcohol at least 2 times a  day until they heal over. Ive taken every type of anti depressant possible, seen over 20 psychiatrists/councilors and I never seem to feel better. It feels like ive been given so much, but i can do […]

Hey Guys..

It’s me again. I forgot to tell you my name last night. It’s Ashlie. I’m from California. And right now I really need some help. My mother and I got in a huge fight today at dinner, because I’ve been being harassed at school. Some kid threw a syringe at me in 1st period and told me that I was nothing better than a junkie. And over the past two weeks, the same kid and many more of his friends have been touching me and just being complete ass holes. I guess I’m writing to anyone who’s willing to listen because I’m really feeling like […]