Three days of binge drinking behind me and a six hour car journey ahead. I had that feeling in my stomach. The one that became so familiar to me during my months of partying hard on a nightly basis in Australia. The pains would cripple me for days. As we set off on the six hour journey I tried hard to suppress the acidy feeling and succeeded to a degree, but then another feeling returned like an old nemesis. I soon felt like the mains to my brain had been cut. There was no fresh thought going in and I knew there’d be very little […]
NO ONE gets out of this (life) alive……we ALL must die……some of us much sooner then we ever thought we would have to……..fair? NO! but that’s life…….well I say FUCK LIFE then.
Any time that I spend actually happy……I use to be as self destructive as possible. E.G. drinking too much, taking allot of ecstasy and other drugs. The only allure to use these avenues of self destruction is that for a little while (even if just for a few hours) I am HAPPY and I love it. I used to love doing things that did not involve drugs but I lost all that when I went blind. We all have our custom tailored prison cells and I don’t doubt anyone’s suffering but mine is so unique it’s scary and that contributes to the urge to die. […]
I’ve come to see existence for what it is, and it’s made me feel tired. Death or not, life is pointless. All that we do serves only to perpetuate our species for it’s own sake. Everything is either a lie or a distraction. Without the superficial activities, conversations, feelings, and thoughts we have, there is nothing. What are we working toward, really? Even if we were gods, we would eventually run out of things to do or learn. Even a simple person like me can see that the universe does not need us or care that we are here. There is no higher purpose. We […]
Whenever I am awake I feel the ever strengthening urge to just end the suffering…….EXCEPT after I get high……after I blaze out, I always feel as though I have been blowing things out of proportion. BUT after some time passes and the high wears off, I feel the urge again and I feel the reasons (pain) to go ahead with my plans again. One of these days I may end up succumbing to the urge and I don’t know what to expect. I do know that continuing to live a life wrought with mental and physical pain is not the smartest thing to do either. […]
This is to JMoses, babyangle and many others. Please rethink this! My son did his suicide by this method. Yes, in 1-3 breaths you are gone. BUT you leave a wake of destruction behind. There is no reason anyone should do this. Please talk to someone other than people who want to do this. My son was not at peace or peaceful looking when he passed. This way turns your skin black, it burns the fat out of your nose, it burns your eyes out.  I an not joking here it does do all of this. The person does not look like selves after doing […]
I just want to tell my story, I don’t care if it never gets published, but I think it will, it’s the suicide press, no kids stuff here.
I guess it started about nine or ten months ago, I was on my first date, when he kissed me. Then I started to get all these horrible flashbacks. It was like being in a horror movie or a thriller. I ran out the cinema’s and I couldn’t go back in. Later, bit by bit, I started to get my memory back. Every time I did, it was like little glass shards poking into my brain. I […]
I have something that is like an anti-depressant for me, Music. Its very weird because if im not listening to music I have depressing, suicidal thoughts but as soon as I play music I become a happy person, I even sing and sometimes dance when music is on. I have found something that vanquishes my depression for a short time, if all the rest of you could just find something to help with your depression like I have music you will find a real change in yourself. Give it a try for your benefit.
http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/09/24/strangers-enter-into-a-pact-online-to-commit-suicide/
At least their suffering is over now.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I think i’m going to get kicked out of school. I failed my first two midterms in two of my classes and I studied my ass off for days on end for those exams and I still failed. If i don’t get straight As I’m going to get kicked out and I don’t want to be a slave at work anymore. I want to be the boss one day, but in order to do that I need a college degree. It’s been like this ever since last year. I study my ass off for days, […]
I was a happy child until grade 7, my life changed on me before i could react. I started cutting it was bad, then i started to OD because the cutting wasnt working anymore. One time i OD right before school and i lost it first class, it was like i wasnt there. I was gone i couldnt hear the people around me. I was out of it so I told my closest friend and she understood her brother went through the same thing. I knew she was there for me. Then I told my other really good friend and she told the counsloer so […]
So just when are we supposed to know when our purpose on this plane of reality has been used?What are we supposed to do then?It’s like a program that has served it’s purpose.When it has served it’s purpose,what happens then?Why it gets deleted of course.Shouldn’t the same be said with us?Who’s to say that our purpose was done at an early age?What then?We are now just supposed to stay here as long as possible and have nothing?We are now dead to the world so why not exit,stage left?
My friend Emily and I carpool to choir on Tuesdays. We are both in the Santa Maria choir, second highest in the Columbus Children’s Choir. Her mother took us to pictures on Sunday.
I have recently started cutting again, and when I did it again for the first time, I hacked my arm up so bad I had to wear long sleeves for about four days before the redness went down. Sunday was one of the days I needed to keep my arms covered. That was okay, our choir uniforms are long sleeved.
Mrs. P took us to this Mexican restaurant before we went to our Confirmation […]
In the book “Final Exit” the author states how to use Helium and a plastic bag to kill yourself and a tip I have is to figure out a way to hand cuff yourself or otherwise restrain yourself so that you don’t remove the bag after you pass out (it can happen) because I am pretty sure nobody here wants to have their suicide become a failure………I know I don’t want it to fail!
I highly recommend the book Final Exit. I got my copy on Amazon.com and it was worth every penny…..it will likely be the book that gave me the best idea as to how I am fittin to commit suicide.
How do I describe to someone what I have lost
Everything…..
Well not everything
The shell of me still speaks
And the pain inside the shell
Swells
Cries like a baby
howls like a wounded animal
Is this a self
Or the remains of a holocaust
Echoes of the old me s
Flitting around like ghosts
Afraid to die
Because am already dead
And don’t want to die another time.
People say time heals all things but this is not true for everything. I’ve been depressed since I can remember….Always hating myself and the way I looked and my bisexuality and just everyone that ever hurt me or made me feel worthless and inadequate and ugly and stupid. For more then a decade I have been suicidal and I have attempted many times and there isn’t a day were I don’t contemplate putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. Metal pain killers, take 1 and sleep. Is suicide really the only cure for me?
I feel so sure of it.
My chest hurts, my body aches and […]
Watching this documentary greatly helped me to understand that there is NO loving god that cares about you and made it MUCH easier to accept what I must do. Check it out on Youtube and tell me it doesn’t make you feel more at peace with having to die…….Zeitgeistmovie.com
I am not fuckin around here, check it out! it really will help you feel better about what we must do (especially if you have that pain in the ass religion guilt/worry hanging over your head!
I have tried so amny times to kill myself w/overdose. one overdose worked but I was found to soon and btought back. Now nothing seems to work. I was thinking about just parking the car in the garage and letting myself fall asleepw/ an Ipod as I breath in the fume of carbon monoxide. I am selfish I have 3 kids who love me, but my whole life is ruined. They have great peoplewho will make up for abscence. I have lost everything that I worked for, house job and my will to live. I am told tht I will never get another job in […]
Im new to this site, found out about it yesterday, read some of the stories so now I joined. When I was 12 or 13 I started to become really depressed, It changed my life alot, I stopped wanting to go out to places I used to have fun at, I didnt want to eat as much, I just wanted to stay in my room in the dark and lay there thinking about how much of a horrible excuse of a human I was. My family, my friends all expected me to grow up become this smart, respectable man and get a good job to […]