I know who you are! yet another identity hey? Why don’t you just post under the one identity? What are you afraid of?

The only reason I’m still alive Is that I’m so afraid of failure, that I can’t even pursue to take my own life. I am so afraid of surviving yet another attempt. How pathetic is that?

I see no light in the end of the tunnel, my future is a void, a black hole, where nothing can or will exist. I usually hate every single person I meet, not because they are rude, just because I feel inferior, they are happy, lovable, beautiful.

I can never hide, or run from this feelings I’m having. I can’t talk about these feelings, because they are so deeply rooted that […]

i feel like a reject. No one sees me, no one hears me, no one wants me. I try to get my voice heard, but I’m always overpowered by someone else, usually by those with a stereotype. I don’t fit in, but that’s the trend right now isn’t it? And it’s usually the odd ones that get all the recognition. But even I don’t feel like a part of that group. It’s as if I’m the reject of the rejects.

Its funny, I dont think im suicidal at the moment. Im currently chain smoking and drinking to get my self to go to bed and stop thinking.

The problem is i have no one to talk to. not anyone whio would understand. im 20 years old and living in my parents basement. i dropped out of high school in my senior year (because of panic attacks from being harrassed) and i have somewhat of a social phobia. ive had friends..they’re all on drugs now so I dont communicate with them. my parents are fine but I dont like to talk with them about serious issues..i told […]

I can feel my life going downhill..i have tried so hard…i really have, but i just can’t seem to fit in anywhere. Since grade school, i have suffered the brunt of other people’s projections..their attitudes and comments have been so cruel to me and have inflicted so much damage that i wonder if i have any ego left at all. People say to me..you should have more confidence..you shouldn’t be so insecure..blah, blah, blah…but if they only knew that i’m lucky to be just standing, living and working after all i’ve been thru. I am an alcoholic..i didn’t just wake up wanting to be this […]

i hate being sad. everyday. i want to scream and to cry. i tried talking to him.. because he knows everything but he shut me down.. if he would ask what im going through.. thats all it would take  one question one i love you from my “Best friend” and it would make it all go away but he cant even do that for me..

I am so sick of life. I feel like shit all the time. I have no friends, no family, no nothing. I am married, but am in a unhappy relationship. the biggest thing is i have no one to talk to. Not one person that really cares. If I died right now not one person on the face of this earth would care. I would be forgotten about the very next day. I dont matter, have no purpose, no reason to be here. I would liketo be gone, but cant find a resonable way to bow out. I dont know how to end it. If […]

It is normal feeling a lack of emotions isn’t it?
I loved him for a long time, really much. But now that I can be with him I don’t feel anything. I feel a blank, an emptiness.
I feel like I just can’t feel anything for anybody.
I know that I love him but I can’t feel it.

Besides… I can’t drag him with me. I know that love can’t save me. I can’t leave him with a dead new girlfriend.
I’m too messed up, I don’t need this right now.

Is this making any sense?
Does anybody here understands?

I’ve been following your posts on SP quite some time,
and I’m somehow feel inclined/drawn to get to know you guys more.
If you don’t mind, can I ask for your email address?
Or you can just directly email me at nikiwonoto@gmail.com

I’d love to -hopefully- able to talk/chat with you guys. It would be great.

Thank you.

Niki: I hope you don’t mind me addressing you on this matter, it’s only really because you have mentioned it a few times in some of your other posts and I wanted to post something about it myself, then just as I was about to do so, I saw you just now posted about it again, you said;

“I’ve said in my previous post about two weeks to 1 month ago, that the only *HOPE* I have now is waiting for *some things* to happen, the climax is said to be Year 2012. whether this is BS, bogus etc, I can’t know 100%,..but I guess I’d […]

I NEED TO BE DEAD SOON!!! Sorry for shouting, but that’s desperation for you. There is no other way out. I am disabled and everything is going downhill FAST. It’s not a terminal illness, but I can barely walk, I can do very few things for myself, I keep getting serious infections and landing  in the hospital, and doctors have told me that all my problems are now irreversible. I have literally not been out of my apartment in 3 years, except when I’ve been hauled off in an ambulance.

The visiting nurses and others believe that I can’t live on my own much longer. For […]

The most infamous Satanic ritual is the rite known as the Black Mass. The development of the Black Mass is not, as some authors have understood it, a recent development, but one that has occurred over a period of 1200 years and its origin, far from lying in an established Satanic tradition, lies within the rituals and ceremonies of the early Christian church.

The Mass of the Dead is considered by some to be the originator of the Black Mass and, although considerably different from the modern versions of the Black Mass, it’s sole function was to procure the death of a person. This variation of the […]

 

They said they were tattered

Would rip when by the wind battered.

They threw discouragement at her.
Best to stay in the harbor.

They said her rigging was frayed,
All grizzled and frazzled and flayed;
Would part from the stress the wind made.
Best to stay in the harbor.

They said her mast was brittle,
Would not give even a little;
They said it would crack in the middle.
Best to stay in the harbor.

They said her hull was encrusted,
Said it could never be trusted;
Would be on the rocks busted.
Best to stay in the harbor.

But she chose her own season to sail,
Praying her will would […]

A hen get together, also referred to as a hen do, hen night, stagette, or a bachelorette social gathering, is a celebration for a lady who is about to get married. The party is given for the bride-to-be as an expression of social and sexual freedom. The term hen get together comes from the henna plant, which is part of the wedding traditions of Africa, the Middle East, and elements of Asia where the henna plant is used to create henna ink for short-term tattoos (henna tattoos) that might be applied on the bride’s hand on the night before the marriage for protection.

For hen night […]

Life was never meant to be consisted of struggle and suffering. It is an experience of ‘life’ as a human being. If a human being was completely free as he was meant to be, he would never consider suicide, nothing would be so bad in his experience to warrant thinking that way. 

 ‘Man’ has created his own existence, which is very far removed from what was intended. Due to this ‘man-made’ existence that we are all living, the majority of the population suffer in some form. Some would rather die than live it. This is not a travesty. What is a travesty is that our real […]

well im 13 and have thoughtt about suicide im emotionally messed up and just need a  frend ii am a goood person..,ii tried suicide two years ago and it didnt work cuzz ii chickened when my brother walked in the room its terrible bcuz iiknow wen someone picks on me then iiknow iim not the only one who needs help iiwanna reach out to every one and say it aint worth itt but ii cant even take mie own advice

                                                                                                         <- – NO SUNN- – >

I’m through now trying to find a reason to live. I found a few, explored them and had more doors shut on me. I know it’s not manly, but I was pretty damn scared of killing myself – oh sure the planning was easy, but when it came to the time, I felt I just wasn’t ready and it scared me. This past week I have been feeling braver about it. I have a plan that I’m comfortable with, and to tell you the truth, I’m a little excited about it, and I feel peaceful. I’m not gonna fuck about when the time comes, I’m […]

Over the sea and far away
She’s waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she’s cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They’re one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it’s too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You’re close enough to see that
You’re…. the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come