An old acquaintance of mine used to have a radio show and once in a while he would pull off a fake commercial and let the audience vote on whether or not they thought it was legit. One of my favorites was “Euthanasia Cruises”. For $2500 you could book passage on a luxury ocean liner that sailed out past the 20 mile limit. Then the passengers could do whatever they wanted for three days and nights – eat, drink, do drugs, have sex with each other – whatever they felt like doing and as much as they wanted. Then after the three days everyone gets […]
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20
My name is Gianna, I’m 20 years old, and the grim reaper has officially laid claim to my soul.
Id like to share from an existential level and some insights that have occurred. Â I have explored numerous modalities to tap into that higher awareness our world so readily speaks about. Â And yes, I have had amazing experiences… But nevertheless, one always returns to the world of man.
i hear many spiritual teachers say that this planet is a school, a place to learn for souls, and that we create our experience before we entered the womb of our biological human mother.but honestly, what I see, is this logic is pure bullshit, cloaked and lessened with the same idea of man: that one must struggle to exist, […]
There are those who die before they’re ready. And there are those who are ready before they die.
Timing is the only problem. I’ve been ready to die for at least 20 years but it hasn’t happened. On the other hand somewhere in the world, someone got hit by a bus and killed 20 years before she would’ve accomplished her life’s work. Oopsie. Life’s a ***** like that.
The best you can do is decide when it’s time to die and immediately make it happen. Those are the only true winners in this world.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m fed up.
I’m 20 years old and a junior in college and I literally don’t have a life. I don’t socialize much. I isolate myself; however, I’m not happy when I do so. I feel lonely and sad.
When I’m alone, my whole life runs through my mind.
When I was in the 12th grade my father got diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said he had only a few months left. My dad fought hard and stood strong. A year later. The day I was getting ready to leave to start college he passed away. I was completely heartbroken. Like all the positivity in life got […]
Hello. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to die, but there always is something that stops me. I’m useless, worthless, good for nothing, stupid, ugly and fat, fat, FAT. People are really harsh on me. They even told me to go die. At the very moment i have already cut about 20 times. My parrents know about my cutting addiction, but they don’t give a fuck. I want to torture myself untill I die,but that isno longer enough for me. If anyone knows any good ways to leave this world or help me overcome this shit, please. I beg you! Help!
So I told my psychiatrist about my overdose a couple weeks ago; they now know of three of my suicide attempts. And each time they haven’t done squat to help me. Yet again I was told of  the dangers it can cause my liver and all that, he asked my how likely it was that I’d try again. I said there’s a 50/50 chance I would. So I was basically telling her that I probably, almost more than certain would do it again. So what did she do? Tell my mum what happened and tell her to remove all medication from the house; […]
Some say it’s all or none. Others say something is better than nothing. Which is it? I get so mad at myself for accepting the unacceptable, but when I cut people out of my life I regret it. I have no life essentially. No family, and one good friend (who doesn’t have the time of day for me because she does have a family). After being depressed for about 20 years, I don’t believe it gets better, I believe this is my life and I need to accept that. I am not meant to have or experience things that others do. I am right where […]
Hi,
This really has nothing to do with religion, but is a personal message by someone who happens to be a Buddhist.
The important part of this post is the advice of the writer, based on his own near-suicide attempt, and not Buddhism, which has little opinion on the matter, at least in terms of a coherent theology.
Honestly, I wish I would have found this 20 years ago, but it may help some people, and even the way things are for me now, it has made me stop and think a little more.
bz
Opening day everyone is perfect
Nothing but hope in the air
Everyone happy without a care
With my luck losses add up
Outlook gets darker by the day
Can my team make one last run
Maybe, here they go its starting to look up
Your grasping, 20 games back 20 to go
It can be done, but no reality sets in
and no its over, time to turn off the tv
Hopes and dreams crashed again.
No one even talks about them anymore
Hats are changed jersey taken off
Final bell sounds
I am curious about something – I’m sorry of it seems trite or stupid. I don’t mean to be joking around. That being said, here goes:
Let’s assume, hypothetically for the moment that Hell exists and it is in fact governed by a fallen angel. Imagine what you will about eternal fire, absence of God, eternal and terrifying punishment – whatever your imagination can construe. And for the purposes of this question,the more horrible the better. You wake up tomorrow in the same pain and agony you were in when you went to bed. It’s just another day; same shit, different day. You have the same […]
How do you get over it? How do you come to gripes with the fact that no one wants to be with you?…how do you attract people..or expect them to ignore your scars? How do you ask someone to be your shoulder to cry on?
Do others cry like you and I? Do they sigh when passed by passersby? Or when the cool kids give an awkward eye?
I’m 20. I wonder if its too late for me to learn how to make friends.
Hello *echo, echo*
Is there anyone out there?…Anybody
I suffer from dysthymia, or persistent depressive disorder as it’s called now. I’ve been like this since I was 13, so for 20 years I’ve been in this continuous depressed state, with the occasional bouts of major depression. I’ve been on meds for 10 years.
Sometimes I think maybe my natural state of being is depressed and the meds are just some sort of weight suppressing my true state. When I think this way I accept my depression. I accept I will never be happy. I accept I will never be loved. I have no hopes, wants or dreams. This is what I am. What I […]
I knew didn’t I? In the moments before I had that first, tiny, dreadful thought, I’m sure I knew. The idea wouldn’t cross my mind and then never come back. That’s not how it works. It’s like when you’re searching for the answer in a trivia game, you get stuck on one thing you know is wrong, but you can’t think past it.
That first thought. The whisperings of death drawing me closer with every incident. I’ve come to accept that even if I make it through this, even if I survive the next 10, 20, 30 years, I might not make it further because I’ve […]
Every night I would hold a loaded 9mm to head, I never had the fucking balls to pull the trigger. I kept going to work, see people, paying bills …. I got dropped from insurance and ran out of LAMICTAL,, oh well. I started to get a new life in order, a tiny bit of exercise via biking around SF. I feel ok, not great, but ok, which is awesome since I’ve wanted to off myself for 20 years and my girl friend did so with me present. life is full of crazy shit, things can get better. stay busy.
Hi Guys,
Day 20! 20 daily posts!!! Woo… It’s been a rough and sad journey, BUT we are not done xD.
So how are you guys? (Comment below!!! I’ll try to answer…)
How am I? Physically: Drained Mentally: Drained
My physical state… I have a massive headache, I am terribly tired, I feel sick and blech and *sigh*. Right now it’s one of those moods, those depressed suicidal moods, but I will get through it alive… But maybe I won’t I don’t know…. I just need someone there ya know? I just *sigh* it doesn’t really matter how I feel I guess. I mean really does it? Does […]
I don’t know if anybody cares, but clearly by the poetry I’ve written I have issues. Nobody cared to comment, so I guess I’m not cared about at all. I have been told to go die in a hole my sister, my dad has told me that EVERYTHING is my fault, and we won’t even get started on my mom. My family is not abusive in anyway. Just verbally when they’re mad. I have ADD and insomnia. I’m a good kid. I don’t get in trouble. I love God. But for some reason, every time I close my eyes I see the evil that I […]
Has it really been a year? i sit here in remembrance of all that had occurred in one single solitary year. It goes back even farther than that though. 20 years since i was born, 5 years since i had escaped, 5 years since i became trapped, 4 years since i had lived, 1 year since i escaped. 1 year since i became free to live and die in my own way.
Time.
Time is so much more than the essence of numbers. It holds so much more meaning than that itself. Time heals all, time wounds all, time drives one mad, and […]
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]
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