I don’t know what’s triggering my depression, but I want to know. It’s driving me fucking nuts and I want an answer. I’m suffering from bipolar disorder and that can cause it, but WHAT THE HELL GAVE ME THE BIPOLAR DISORDER?! At this point, I don’t know. I’m about two seconds away from having a major anxiety attack mainly because I had a dream about me being happy. I woke up and I wanted to cry. I need help. Like, really. My depression is getting out of control and I want to end my life, but deep down in a dark and secretive side of me, […]
I feel so disturbed, like I’m  going to puke from how upset I am.
I just felt so distant from people today; I knew the people I saw weren’t malicious, but I couldn’t help but feel so far away nevertheless. It made me real lonely.
Then I was pretty much ignored by someone who was supposed to be a friend, and I snapped. My eyes got sore with held back tears and I drifted even further from people,where I was only feeling a constant pain. The worst thing about it all was that inside I felt terrible, but in the crowd I was in at the time […]
Tonight was the night i felt i needed someone there.
I usually love being on my own and never felt alone,
but tonight has been different…
I would love a boyfriend, but i wouldnt want them to
have to go through my problems and mood swings.
Would be very unfair on them, so maybe being single
is the decision for now?!
I wish of death.
I hate my life so much.
To much drama at school.
Mom thinks everything’s fine.
I’m getting called a slut and guys are asking me inappropriate questions about sex.
I feel dirty from all the stuff I’ve done over the past year.
I’ve gotten insane.
I’m depressed.
I’m young.
I wish I could just fade.
Fade away.
Fade away into a big, dark hole.
Where I will never be found.
And be alone.
Forever.
No more drama.
No more relationships.
No more bullies.
Just me.
Alone.
Forever.
I am in my last year of highschool and I have never been so alone and afraid in my entire life. During exams last year I went to a party and did something stupid that caused a bunch of girls to say hurtful things to me and it just pushed me over my limit. I’ve dealth with their cattiness for the past 2 years and I was done with it. I called my mom to pick me up and she couldn’t even tell I was breaking down. It wasn’t her fault because I am good at pretending I am okay. When we got home she […]
I miss the first time we kissed. November 4, 2009. I smiled the whole way home. I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. I was so happy. I miss the first time you wrap your arms around me, kissed my cheek. I miss the first time you called me babe. I miss the beginning, when we didn’t want to say I love you, so we said i <3 u. I miss the first time you said you loved me. I miss the feeling of being loved, I was so blown away at the fact that someone could actually like me, none the less love me. […]
I found this online and it captures how lonely I feel.
I Miss You Dreamer
You don’t know how bad I need you here with me,
I need you more than anything more than I need to breathe
How do I last now that my heart has grown so cold,
Being without you its like my heart was put on hold
How do I stay warm without you to hold me tight,
I wish I was in your arms and everything was right
When I’m with you my body becomes weak,
I want to say I love you but its really hard to speak
I get this amazing feeling from […]
Now, you may think I’m just that teenager, who goes bitching about their Mother and has tantrums about who gets the remote.
This isn’t the case.
Throughout my life, I have had a fairly descent childhood, I’m not raped, I’m not assaulted. It’s more of a psychological thing. From the age 0-7 every thing was fine and dandy. Both my Mother and my Father had a healthy relationship, two sweet little girls and a bouncy boy (me). Then it all went wrong. My Mum decided my oldest sister was responsible enough to look after us, cook for us and care for us; being 13 at the time. […]
I’m so tired, it feels like I can fall apart every moment. I just.. ugh. But the weird thing is: I don’t want to commit suicide. Death is one of my biggest fears. I just want to be happy. I just started high school and I was like: I’m really gonna miss my old class, but I’m sure I’m gonna make new friends. My best friend came in the same class as me (let’s call her A), so I was really happy I wasn’t ‘alone’ because I’ve always been a shy girl. She made friends, I didn’t. I was happy for her, I can’t blame […]
It hurts when I hear your name,
It hurts when I see your picture,
It hurts when I read something that reminds me of you.
It hurts to miss you a lot.
It hurts to be alone.
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
I need something to keep me going, because anymore I see no point in living. Everyone always meets someone better than me, then I become nonexistent. I’m use to it, I don’t blame anyone, I only blame myself for not being good enough. And yes, I know that people leave our lives all the time but why is it that no one seems to stay in my life? For once, I’d like to feel wanted/needed. But that probably won’t happen, I’ll kill myself long before that day comes.
Is it normal… to look in the mirror and not see yourself in the reflection?
Having been so caught up in everyone’s “expectation†of you. To have completely lost yourself trying to be what everyone else wanted you to be?
Every night you dream of this life, you could NEVER have, but every day you long for it.
You have all these hopes… dreams… ideas… that you want to fulfill but just not enough time to do so.
Then you go to sleep… still having yet to achieve anything extraordinary in your life, waking up in the morning realizing your one day closer to […]
Have you ever watched someone you love self-destruct right next to you and not be able to do anything about it?
I have. Â Many times.
I’ve been there for her so long, and she doesn’t even care. Â She doesn’t even know how hard it would affect me if she actually finished what she started two years ago.
I can barely function anymore because I am so afraid that every moment she isn’t with me, she’s trying again.
Losing her would probably finish me off. Â For good.
I’d check out permanently. Â Suicide would be a plausible option then.
Please don’t let that happen. Â Please–if anyone cares.
But no one cares. Â About her. Â About […]
I hate it when people try to cheer me up, yes, I know, it’s instinctive- they probably don’t know what else to do. But it kills me inside when they talk about hope, the future, what good may come. It kills me. It’s just digs me deeper.
I’m so tired of no one understanding, Â of being so alone.
I know I’ll never be able to move out, I know I’ll never be able to have a successful life. When my mother can’t support me anymore, I’ll just have to live on the streets.
I can’t imagine myself being old, I’m too much of a defeatist that I’m prone […]
Dear, “Friend.”
It hurts.
You’re my friend, or at least I thought you were…
I’m not a toy that you can use.
I have feelings.
You are not here when I need you, you don’t care.
When I cry out for help, you act like you didn’t hear.
You call me a loner, but I’m trying to talk.
But you wont let me… You’re scared of me leaving.
I’m a loner.
I’m a weirdo.
I’m nothing.
I’m a *****.
Oh, It hurts.
Keep calling me names, It will only make me worse.
You say you’re kidding, just playing around.
But look closer at me what […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C08Ini72mZw
Thats my story.. please subscribe gonna post more videos soon
Well Hi again, many of you may remember me as BrooklynBoxx.. and once again I am asking you for your guys favor. I’m 15, as my of you know. But on January 26, 2013 I met and fell in love with a 21 year old. I know many of you may find this risky, coming from my past. But he was there after every failed suicide attempted. He got me to throw away razors. And talked me out of suicide. On the 15th of July my mom […]
I can’t keep from dwelling on the fact that I set myself up to be alone. I’m used to people not being there for me, but normally there’s those few people that are always there.  This time even they have drifted away. It seems like over night I slipped back into my old skin of sadness and loneliness. I thought that I had learned to be happy again. She opened up a whole new world of beauty to me. Was it a new world so sweet or was I just blinded by her sweetness? I’m so confused and numb. I’m remembering what it feels like to be alone. […]
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]