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always
The two sexiest men in the world exist as ghosts. We know they’re there, but they’re unreachable and untouchable, and only make themselves available to the most unworthy people at random, and then disappear back into the void where they can only be admired from a distance and torture the heart and soul of the one who would truly care.
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In the end I’m always alone. Always forgotten. Not important. Never was enough to be more than a passing thought only because I dared to insert myself.
I fucking hate sundays. Well I fucking hate that sundays have to end cause I really hate mondays.
I have a lot of papers to do and I should have delivered one of them this weekend. I’m lost. My mind isn’t working and I’m having a lot of anxiety right now. I’m so sick of this. Fuck you universe, just kill me already and stop fucking with me.
Fuck the sundays and the mondays what I really hate is myself.
I hate you little piece of shit. Always sad, always anxious. You have a awesome life why can’t you enjoy it.
And stop crying. Just go make […]
Hi there. I just want to share my story. I’m kind new around, i’m from Portugal.
Well all my life i have been very negative, in my concept, i call it, realistic. Why do people think positive? do they want to get hitted hard in face when things fall? Anways its just my thing i guess, and im very hard person to motivate, i watch everyone, and they all got a dream, they want to be someone, and have some carrer. The thing is that i never dreamed or wanted to be something, all i asked at my teenager age was someone to connect, guess what, i […]
Its going to 8am n im awake cant sleep so much on my mind i really hate feeling so sad and always thinking and worrying im so pissed off with my own family member her actions really get to me like then i get told dont worry about wat she does dont stress it but it does hurt even when my mom is upset being an only child would of been great but that is not how it is
I’ve made too many mistakes. My life is like a painting that’s been painted over again and again, so much that the errors, the repulsive missteps can’t be hidden anymore. It’s just a big, hot mess. I never knew what Selective Service was until I was too old to register. I waited to start college too late in life. That’s how I found out. I was filing for aid and discovered a problem that I would eventually realize would keep me from ever attending college. I can never get federal aid. My credit has never been good enough to qualify for private loans. So, that’s […]
New years about a month away.
Somehow i want this year to finish yet i dont want 2016 to start.
Cus nothings gonna change, people always say stupid fucking shit like, new years resolution and turn over a new leaf.
But the truth is we will all be the same.
The people better than me(almost everyone i know) will keep getting better and ill still be stuck in the same old shit.
And ofc, she still wont know i love her and will continue to ignore my existence.
My acedamics will keep on falling till they hit the ned rock.
And finally, i will keep […]
Always u hear on news bad things happen i always wonder why or how pple can just buy guns and or try to guns was made for protection i think they should do better job on keeping guns only to protection
So here I am again. Alive and healthy, better than actually, my physic is great. Maybe that’s irony? Does that make me a coward? A fake? How long have I wanted to die after all?
I wanna say it’s harder when you see the people it would hurt, and you know they’ve gone though a lot of the same pain you have, and you wouldn’t hesitate to die to spare them just a little more. Maybe that’s what it means to have a reason to live? But since when do I care about other people? I’m the asshole. That’s how it works. I don’t build […]
i guess it’ve been a while since i last posted you know ..
i’ve been away in trying to reach the one inside of me , my soul , my inner thoughts and such stuff looking for inside peace … im not saying i’ve reached it though ! jaja ..
all i got to these weeks is that i am really beautiful somehow .. and to always remind myself to love it ..
when i ever don’t know what to do ,, i’d just do nothing .. stick up to good thoughts , enjoy everything that i could .. and i don’t know […]
You could have never known, and things would be no different. I tried to stay in touch; I made it clear I valued your friendship. I know life can be busy, and when so many people are on the edge of depression it’s hard to get excited about anything at all.
Even a person.
You’re forgiven for that, just like you always have been. I’ve never been known for a shortage of apologies after all; but you don’t get to pretend you just lost me.
You lost a little of me when I told you that secret, the one I could barely face myself, and you made me […]
I need to tell my story.
I am in my 25th year. I have been a great performer all my life. I was always in the top 5 throughout my school. Topper of my college for three straight years during graduation. I stood at third place in the university during the final year of my graduation. I thought of being a person who would bring a change in this world. I thought of being someone of importance. And then I went for my post graduation. And then everything changed.
I could not understand programming. I was good in arts though. I would write poems, was an amateur […]
I can’t fucking stand it here. I hate this place. I love my field of work, but I hate the people and this entire work environment. I’m tired of being yelled at, especially for things that shouldn’t be my fault. I do what I’m told, so if I fail it’s because you didn’t tell me thoroughly what needs done. You can’t give me half of an assignment and expect me to know how to finish it correctly. But apparently that makes me a bad worker because I can’t read people’s minds or go back twenty years and learn how you guys do things here.
I don’t […]
I’ve been feeling weird for a day and a half, and it’s slowly starting to get to me. I’m not a self-harmer, but right now I want to cut myself so bad. I want to feel pain. I’ve always been someone who is against self-harm and thinks that it’s “stupid”, but right now I want to feel something other than this emptiness and sadness. I’m not scared, I don’t care that it’ll hurt.
When people look at me, they don’t see me. It’s my fault for hiding and lying and smiling, but sometimes I wish that someone would see me and ask what was wrong.
When people look at me, they see ridiculously high grades, higher than they have. They don’t see how I fall apart every time I look at a math problem, how I always have doubts no matter how well I’m doing, how I constantly worry.
When I say I’m nervous about a hard test, everyone scoffs. They’re usually right t0 – I always pass. They don’t understand that I really am nervous… I’m so stressed that I want to curl up […]
Usualy people dread mondays, something i’ve always found dificult to grasp as my least favourite day of the week has always been Sunday, specially since my depression and suicidal thoughts began, specially now during the winter. when the cold and cloudy days take their toll.
And here i am again in the living room thinking about killing myself, and as opposed to perhaps all of you wishing for Monday to kick in.
i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.
the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.
i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]
No I’m not your son and I’m not a total car guru and whatever works for your bipolar episodes doesnt always work for me and you pick on me all the fucking time and I already know, ok, I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW I’M THE WORLD’S GREATEST PIECE OF SHIT FOR A DAUGHTER SO PLEASE, PLEASE JUST KEEP RUBBING IT IN. I know I forget and I am not always home and I’m SO SO SO SORRY!! I don’t know how to be the child you want, ok?I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW. And I just try to get away […]
I speak to you as a victim of suicide. My mother and an uncle committed suicide.
There are many theories of death, but I will give you the most likely: It’s nothingness. Unconsciousness, as we know it, is that space between falling asleep and waking up. It’s what happens when you undergo surgery, or pass out. For a suicider, this is the most likely positive outcome. The suicider wants an end to the distress, and this appears to fit the bill.
But what if suicide carries with it consequences that are potentially worse? When the suicider makes the choice to squander the life given to him or her, who knows […]
I’m sitting here in the living room, next to my mom and listening to her struggle to breathe. She has ALS, and for those who do not know, it is always fatal. Always. In the end, people who have it usually have to be on a respirator if they want to live. She won’t do it. So she just sits here and can’t breathe.
I can’t take any fucking more of this. I know damn good and well she will not be here next year at this time. At the rate she is going, she will likely not make it to xmas.
I am broken, aching, exhausted […]