Tag:

always

Colouring Beyond The Lines

by boldfront 7/10/2015

written by boldfront

I’m taking a step forward.

The past few years have been rough on me. I’m nineteen, I go to college like any normal student, I have friends, I have a family. Every single person in my life are important to me, and I know they care about me even if they don’t usually show it.

Though I’m so tired of what they’ve been hiding. I’ve been a good friend, I know I have. I don’t talk about anyone behind their backs and people learn to trust me. I joke around, I make my friends laugh, I make them smile, and I’m serious when I need […]

7/10/2015 6 comments

What more is there to life than suffering?

by Black_Heart2001 7/10/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

Growing up in a traditional Asian household, life was very different from what I had read in American novels. With a strict Taiwanese father who graduated from Harvard, was the minister for Sino-America relations, and a Marine for 15 years, expectations were always set high. And my mother on the other hand, looked at me as no more than a show pony that she could steal accomplishments from. From an early age, achievement was measured in medals, and love in trophies. Whether or not I would get beaten depended on how fast my times in the latest swim meets were, how I placed in the latest […]

7/10/2015 2 comments

I’m the author of my life but I do not choose what is to be published

by KH 7/9/2015

written by KH

A friend of mine recently said to me ‘ you’re the author of your own life’ and my response was the title of this post. It’s true. It’s similar to the saying ‘men are masters of their own fate’ I suppose.

To make my recent downward spiral more persistent is the recent events involving my boyfriend of almost 1 year cheating on me with someone who used to be a good friend of mine, talk about ironic since she’s supposed to be in a relationship with my boyfriends best friend.. They insisted on lying but the truth always reveals itself eventually. Ha.

Anyways, apart from the usual […]

7/9/2015 2 comments

Body positivity vs body negativity

by Kanis 7/8/2015

written by Kanis

To be Honest- i don’t think I’m suicidal but I can tend to surprise myself. I’ve always been okay with my body till I hurt myself and started weighing more than I should. It started to make me more conscious when family would make a general comment.”you’ve gone big haven’t you?” it’s been a few years and since last year I made new friends and they would boost my confidence. My current partner boosts my confidence. My family bring me down and it’s worst because it hurts so bad and I try to change and make a difference but I’m so private about my feelings and […]

7/8/2015 1 comment

Staying is killing me.

by Quiet 7/8/2015

written by Quiet

Its been a while. Things have been going better than they normally do for me right now, so I’m really wondering why I feel like things are about to just go to hell. This year’s been pretty shit. I’ve been alone and lonely my whole life, and I’ve finally made some friends to keep that depression at bay – I really do love these people, they make me the happiest I’ve ever been. I guess you could call them the rebellious type, but I don’t exactly know what they’re rebelling against – they drink, do drugs, that kind of thing. Its been good for me […]

7/8/2015 0 comment

I cant do this anymore

by mantra 7/7/2015

written by mantra

I just can’t stop crying. Every day I came from work, I would curl in my bed and cry. Feels like my mind is a garden overgrown with weeds and thorns. And the garden never had flowers in the first place, it has always been empty and abandoned. And these tears make the weeds and thorns grow stronger and thicker by the minute, one of these days, my soul is going to get pushed out and will leave my body to die and rot in the garden I can’t tend to.

7/7/2015 3 comments

Me, in its rawest form

by hussofhips 7/7/2015

written by hussofhips

Okay so I am brand new here and kinda awkward about it. But I’m going to use this as a place to vent and stuff.
So I am your average teenage girl, with a slightly disfunctional family.
I have never meet my birth father. My (now ex) step father is a pretty alright man. And my mother is a monster, I will get into details about her later.
I have many brothers and sisters, but only few whom I have actually meet, and only 1 that I have grown up with. My older brother (by 9 years) hes.. well I dont know, he doesnt exactly […]

7/7/2015 2 comments

When does it stop?

by christin0517 7/7/2015

written by christin0517

So very many times I’ve tried to just lie in bed. To not get up. To not walk to the bathroom. To not grab the razor that hides in the cabinet. So many times I’ve failed. So miserably failed. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, I know. But how many times can you relapse before you’re no longer recovering anymore?

7/7/2015 0 comment

I don’t know.

by Inferium7 7/7/2015

written by Inferium7

I’ll try to keep this short and to the point…

I just finished high school. I currently live with my father. I’m unemployed, and don’t know where or how to look into anything related to college. I ended HS barely passing with a 2.1 GPA, so universities and whatever are most likely out of the question (for anyone who does not understand GPAs, just assume that I barely graduated, the minimum par being 2.0).

Lately, I’ve been getting high or drunk every day since June, basically, after I moved out of my mom’s place just after finishig school. For all intents and purposes, moving back in with […]

7/7/2015 7 comments

Beauty of the Broken

by feathers704 7/6/2015

written by feathers704

Suicide is not a joke. It is a battle you fight with your inner spirit and your feelings. For some people, suicide starts with bully, one of the most commons reasons why most deaths in suicide are the range of teenagers and young adults. I am in that range and I was one of the many who had almost succeeded in taking my own life. Suicide don’t just happen because we feel like it, there is always a reason and the main reason suicide comes about in someones mind is because they are being bullied. Being a victim will bring up all kinds of thoughts […]

7/6/2015 0 comment

I am the VICTIM

by thevictim 7/6/2015

written by thevictim

I am the victim of suicide. The one who is alive and is going to be in pain for the rest of my life. The mother of an 8 month old child, to whom I will have to someday explain, why dads gone. And it will have to be one hell of a story. I am the one left with all the mess. I am the one that wandered here looking for answers. I am the victim. Before a couple of days i havent heard of N powder. I am the one who has been lied to. I am the one that loved very much. […]

7/6/2015 3 comments

3 years later..

by fallencrescendo 7/6/2015

written by fallencrescendo

It’s been three years since I put up my first post on this site. Now being 21 years old. If I could go back in time and talk to myself in the past and tell her how the future is now I’d tell her just these few things.

You will fall in love with your prince charming. The perfect boyfriend. And you will have the best time of your life. Then have your heart broken, never seeing him again because you just weren’t good enough. But you will meet someone else. And you two will live together in harmony with a black cat who loves you […]

7/6/2015 0 comment

Bored with Life

by cuky 7/6/2015

written by cuky

Not sure how to go back.
To the time and place of contentment.
Always looking forward to something.
Sanguine.
Fastforward. Decades pass.
Alone and disconnected.
Betrayed by God
Not having the common decency to exist.
Just as well. Turns out, he’s a dick.
Betrayed by life partner.
A wound that will never heal.
Powerless to trust or forgive.
The cyclops has no will to live.

7/6/2015 0 comment

A story

by alonelybird 7/5/2015

written by alonelybird

I glanced up at my alarm clock, the time was 1:13 am. It was time to go. I put my shoes on and got my jacket. I creeped slowly down the stairs and took an apple from the kitchen and put it into my pocket. Downstairs I pulled out the nail that holds the windows in place and crawled outside. It was a nice night, quite calm and the moon was bright but obscured by clouds. I walked up the side of the house that I lived in and started pissing behind a tree. I looked up the road a bit and admired how the […]

7/5/2015 0 comment

I feel trapped

by AfflictedSmile 7/4/2015

written by AfflictedSmile

Today is my birthday. Instead of feelings of joy, happiness, excitement for what this day is besides my birthday, I feel empty. I no longer know how to run my life. If I ever knew. I feel trapped in it. Trapped in who I am, what I am, where I am in this existence. I do not know how life works. I see everyone around me with all the things I wish I could have. It seems tangible, but so very far from my grasp. Supportive family, friends, significant others and love in their life.

No matter how hard I strive for things most people have. […]

7/4/2015 7 comments

Eating away at my core

by Sammi6xoxo 7/4/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

“not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not fit enough.”
It echoes it echoes it echoes
Unwanted, unloved, and alone
You’re sick, you’re dying, and you’re cold
The smell of another doctors office
And another face like stone
The sound of machines buzzing
And you wonder why he didn’t show

Daddy, don’t you care
To know if your little girl will live
Why were you never there?
From sad beginning to bitter end
Mom, you tried your best
You’ll always be my best friend
But I guess I failed the test
It’s time for my greatest sin

Bang
Test the gun
Bang
One more time
A bullet for […]

7/4/2015 16 comments

I messed up

by Screm10 7/3/2015

written by Screm10

I messed up really bad. I left my friend out of an activity that I planned. At the time, I didn’t do it because I dislike her but because I forgot. I have always prided myself on being kind. But I keep forgetting to invite her to stuff. I do not know why. I swear it is not intentional. I have apologized but it isn’t enough. I know she hates me now and it is all my fault. She is mean to me sometimes and now I can see why. I do not deserve to be her friend when I am always hurting her. And […]

7/3/2015 1 comment

Life, love, and reality.

by thatgirl6979 7/3/2015

written by thatgirl6979

My life is crumbling right before me. It seems as if I’m in a dark hole grasping my fingers in the dirt trying to crawl out. I’ve always been a manic-depressive, but it’s getting to be to much. My fiancé of two years just left, no reason, just saying he was done. My job is barley standing, eventually it will shut down. I’m so young and I should have so much to look forward to, but I’m not seeing it that way.

7/3/2015 3 comments

I forgot how to human….

by Sammi6xoxo 7/3/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

I’m just gonna go curl up in a ball under a blanket in the corner of my bed. If anyone cares to join me, you better bring some chocolate milk and a fucking donut and be prepared to cuddle for a few hundred years because I’ve sprung another leak in my left eye. I’m sick of the appointments. I’m sick of the pain. I’m sick of going through this alone and I Want nothing more than to swallow a fucking bullet… Every conversation with my worthless father is like pouring salt on an open wound. I know I’m not good enough, but can’t we pretend […]

7/3/2015 18 comments

Im so sorry.

by justanothergame 7/2/2015

written by justanothergame

Im so sorry.

To Mom: Im sorry you’ll never see me become the happy man with family that you always wanted me to be. I’m sorry i was always miserable. Im sorry I never talked to you. Im sorry for being so difficult and putting you through so much.

To my Sister: We always got along rather well. But i could never explain to you whats going on in my mind. I know this will only hurt you and mom more, but I couldn’t take hurting anymore. Im sorry i’ll never be a uncle for your daughter.

To Her: Im so sorry. I know this is the last […]

7/2/2015 3 comments

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