I thought I was gone from this site, it’s been over a year. I thought things were looking up, but I’m still a failure. I thought I had already lost everything, but I’m about to lose more. I am so overwhelmed and hopeless. I have done everything I can do to build myself up, but it always comes back to this. I’m tired of feeling afraid all the time. I don’t really want to die, but I have exhausted all other options. It’s been so long, decades. There are people I love, far more than I love myself. So I keep on, keeping […]
I’ve never done anything like this before. I guess I’m just looking for anything or anyone to save me. I’ve been depressed all my life. Things have happened and everyone seems to always try and justify them..along with myself. I tried so hard to push it the back of my mind , I just want to forget it all. It’s always something happening, and I can’t escape for any of it. I feel stuck. I’m drowning my own self. I’m loosing this battle . It’s scary. I always think that maybe one day I’ll just have enough…and I’ll loose. It scares the living shit out […]
While my name is Jonas i constantly feel like Jonah from the bible. Stuck in a whale and i try praying but i always find that when i think I’m out it was just mania. My parents never listen to what i say. I think maybe i should be homeless at the shelter just to avoid my triggers. They think I’m tripping on drugs, and i am heavily addicted to DXM. I can’t smoke weed because I’m on probation. Because of me being a fool and hitting my ex for cheating on me. I’ve lost myself and all sense of reality. My family doesn’t believe […]
My name is Sandra, i’m 17 years old. I’m a daugther, a sister, a granddaugther, a niece, a cousin. I love animals, rain and reading. I don’t have any true friends. I’m introverted, i’m silent, i don’t like talking, i’m always sick, i feel very weak, i love being alone, i hate crying, i have lost a lot of people that are important to me, i have never fully enjoyed life, i’m not a loving person and i don’t even understand what love is, i’m insecure, i’m a really anxious person, i’m quite self destructive, i always try to give people hope, though i […]
Remember when I asked if
I should do it? Well, I did. I sent him a message, I said happy birthday, have a great day, wish you the best, hope you’re doing fine, may the force be always with you blah blah… And so far he didn’t answer. I guess that’s my sign.
Tomorrow is my birthday, well, in a couple of hours, so I don’t know, I don’t have that excitement I felt when I was 18, that was the last time I felt excited about my birthday. Ever since all has been plain, simple, the feeling of “whatever” and it’s sad. I don’t […]
Lost my last friend today
No family no friends all goneeeeee
No reason to live
Im worthless friends always leave me for a reason
Fuck it alllllll
My husband just wants to hit me. He stays mad at me about everything and somehow it’s all always my fault. I don’t have close friends or family to go to, and women’s shelters only give you 45 days maximum to find a place to live, which isn’t guaranteed, and especially not for someone who hasn’t had a job in a long time because I’ve been busy helping my husband with his failing business and his new job. I have nothing to live for and no hope that I’ll find a job that will make enough that I can take care of myself…If I can […]
today was a warm and beautiful day, and i wasted all of it inside. i want to die. they say these feelings are temporary. but they don’t know my feelings… i mean, sure, it goes away for a little while, but it always comes right back. like now. been crying off and on whenever i think of certain things, and so i try to distract myself to keep from thinking too much, but there’s nothing to distract me. it’s always at the front of my mind. i can see why some people would turn to drugs… i need to feel something, anything, other than this […]
I ain’t shit, I am pretty sure that everyone around me knows that. I flunked out of college when I was only a semester away from finishing. I recently found out I got fired from my job but yet don’t know why.. I worked so hard, I was working almost three weeks with no days off. I received no recognition, no appreciation, no love, they were all shitting on me. I am sort of happy I am no longer working for a bunch off people who shitted on me constantly and never gave a damn about my feelings but i dunno how i’m going to […]
So, I have just confessed to my boyfriend of almost 5 months that I have come to the conclusion that I’m gay. It was possibly one of the most awful things I have had to do. He cried. He loves me. I love him. But I cannot make myself feel sexually attracted to him. I have always thought that I am probably gay but I since I had only dated one guy before him I thought maybe I just wasn’t attracted to that guy in particular. I was going through the same motions as I was in the previous relationship. Except this time I was […]
hello 🙂
what bullying and would you consider this bullying?
alright. since the start of the year I have met these group of girls (I am a girl) who have made me felt very upset. I am quiet and shy and normally don’t speak up about these things. it first started when they just stared at me, they would laugh at me and try to humilate me. 2 weeks after I had met them they would speak really loudly bad things about me then laugh. it really hurt my reputation and now I have no friends. I was recovering from self harm and it made me want […]
If kill myself, my dad will blame my mom. Scream at her “You were supposed to be the one watching after her” followed by how he has two jobs, followed about how she doesn’t have a job, about how she should have read the signs, how she was always in the way and the lies will spew on and on until she is sick and lonely and miserable. He will make it all about him and then, with his room locked, he will let my message of how much of a failure as a father he is finally hit him.
I wish suicide was like disappearing, […]
I’ve always had a number of acquaintances but not many close friends. Relationships have always occurred at a distance – like walking down a beach and seeing people off in the distance. People don’t seem to knock at my door -and I spend holidays alone (hate holidays). I make flippant comments to strangers – some smile, some think I’m insane. I tell my stories to grocery store clerks and baristas – a captive audience who smile but don’t ask if I’m okay. I get phone calls from telemarketers and medical receptionists – would you like to buy some gold – hello Mr Eaton your doctors […]
im 17 i live in the state of iowa and my parents dont want me to be with my boyfriend so right now they dont know im dating him they think im going and hanging out with his sister which i am but im also spending time with him and they dont know im with him and any ways i kinda want to run away but im scared because i dont want to get found and i want to take my pets with me but i know i cant and im so confused i really want to cry why i want out of the house […]
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I often read fanfiction about my davorite band members. I noticed a lot of people would get upset because they “romanticize” suicide, depression, selfharm, disorders, and so on. Yet, I never looked at it that way. I would always think of it as a way that it gave me hope that eventually some one would accept me the way these members would in the stories. Sadly, I can never say that out loud or express my opinion about it because I’d immediately get attacked online or whatever that i’m this horrible person for thinking that way […]
Just about the only thing that’s always there when I need it. Alcohol. Ugh just fuck.
I was born in Surrey, British Columbia on an early spring morning. My mother, being accompanied by only her parents was resting from the harsh birth just hours prior. My mother was married just weeks prior to her admittance into the hospital and with some surprise, my father entered the room with another woman. He wasn’t one to stay with the same woman for long before he’d discard the relationship to move on. The first two years were hell, I was abandoned in my crib for elongated hours with nothing more than a sippy cup of apple juice. My biological parents were incapable of […]
My bestfriend, she left me. It was my fault tho. Just like everything. We were so alike it was ridiculous. She liked what I liked. She had been bullied I had been bullied. We connected on so many levels. Every day she came over after school. Everyday we would sit on my roof and listen to the birds sing. We would watch the moon come up count the start and fall asleep. When it was cold we would bring pillows and blankets up to lay on. Whispers and giggles until snores. The first real friend I’ve ever had. She was the only reason, she made me better. She […]
This hits home so much for me. One struggling for so long when both sides are starting to crumble into one. One side the girl so happy, bubbly, full of life, always smiling or making others laugh. Then the other side of her. The one that cries her self to sleep at night, the one that cuts and self harms herself to keep her pain and emotions under control to keep her from crying out, the one thats hurting on the inside and feels […]
Just some thoughts…. It makes me feel sad how I’m always there for someone else in there time of need , but when I need someone no one is ever there for me. It also frustrates me how I always ask my friends every single day how they are doing and making sure they are OK and most of my friends don’t even ask me if I’m OK. Even when I tell them I’m sad or upset or depressed, they don’t even acknowledge the fact that I am upset and could just use a friend. I’m tired of being there for others when no one […]