I just had a friend tell me that it takes on average 3-6 months for someone to get a new job. I was fired on November 20th and have been on 11+ interviews with only one offer and it was for something I didn’t feel safe doing. I’m not even having the suicidal car crash fantasies but I ache right now. I see a therapist in about a week for an intake appointment and then maybe in a month I’d see a new psychiatrist for a med adjustment, but I know I need to go to the hospital. I just promised my husband that I’d […]
Tag:
always
So.. I’m officially homeless homeless. I was already homeless but at least I had a motel room but now I don’t even have that. Of course this happens the day it snows and just as it’s about to be -12 outside. Negative twelve degrees fahrenheit. I don’t EVER remember it being that cold here. Adding insult to injury, my sciatica pain is off the charts today AND my period just started which is always extremely painful, to the point of throwing up and passing out.
I do love how pretty the snow is but even that is making me sad. It sucks being so completely alone.
I […]
I try to get over my depression and I feel better for some days but I go all over again from the beginning . I’m tired of life and I decided to suicide . I know this will be hard for my family and I will miss my sister so much because she is life for me and mom was always a perfect mother for us and my dad and my brother are my love . but sometimes we need to take hard decisions because I can’t stay in this depression
i haven’t posted in a while, I still feel like crap
I really wish I was dead, I feel so stupid writing this. Who even cares about a piece of trash like me anyway. I should just die. Kill myself and get this shit over with
My furture looks horrible. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. My grades are awful.
“But family will always be there”
No
No they won’t
I feel so fucking alone and i really wish I had at least one friend.
But who wants to deal with my shit and me being all depressed for no good reason
Ugh
I wish I was dead. Sorry for being a […]
My life has truly been a rollercoster these past few months. Ups and downs left and right ….. I wish I could see where my future would take me to see if its even worth all of this constant heartache. Every time i take one step forward I feel like I take 5 steps back…. I had a child with who I thought was the love of my life, he was cheated and lied to the most with in the first 3 months of being pregnant …. I decided to take a chance and leave him to look for a happier life…. That has lead […]
Well I’m finally to the point where I’m ready to go. I’ve been a waste of air these past few months anyways. I thought soo much better of you, but as always, you never fail to disappoint. “Did he say anything about not being able to see his son for his Birthday?”. Yeah, I heard all about it like always. Your hurting him the most out of all of us.
But I forgive you, mainly because I have to. I guess a lot has to do with the fact that despite what you’ve done to me, I still love you. Must be unconditional love, who knows. […]
I keep thinking I can’t bear it anymore. But I’m scared of the alternatives.
by thehusk
written by thehusk
I’m such an asshole. I hate being around people, especially at work. They’re always in the way. And I haven’t worked out a way to ask them to move without feeling angry. I try to be polite, but my face seems to betray me – ‘I hate you for not having the self-consciousness to realise you’re in my way, I hate that I have to ask you to move just so I can do my job, and I hate myself that this is how I’m spending my life.’
Or people try to make small talk. There’s reasons I don’t want to talk about myself. I feel […]
I don’t know why I’m depressed. If someone asked me why or if I was writing a suicide note and trying to explain it, I wouldn’t know what to say. My parents are constantly at each others throats, have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen violence in my family, even been on the receiving end of it a few times. My old school was horrible, my classmates hated me and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. But those three reasons are all I can think of and they’re not even that bad. My parents love me […]
Why is everything always so fucked?! Why am I such a nice guy when everyone is a fuckin dick?! Why do I wear what little heart I somewhat have left on my sleeve for someone to just rip it out step on it stab it shoot it douse it with acid and set it on fire…. I quit…..
Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have […]
Around four years ago I’d just encountered my first heartbreak. It was awful. She was my German girl and I was her American boy.. But, it wasn’t meant to last, I’m afraid, as she cheated on me. Tough break, kid lol. Anyway, I was a complete and total mess. Food held no taste. Drink held no joy. I basically just smoked cigarettes and played guitar 24/7. I’d eat just enough to get by, but only because I was constantly hounded about no eating.. Christ, I wrote some terrible songs lol. They were horrible. Lol I didn’t know that then, however. But anyway, this went on […]
I just don’t get life. I try to change myself to make me feel better and the people around but it only lasts for such a long time. I broke up with my boyfriend so he could do better but apparently he needs the support from someone because he’s a dependent person. And I am not. I just don’t get how he gets mad every single time I meet some new guy or something, I’m always telling him that I love him and I try to show it as much as I possibly can but it just doesn’t seem to work. And I’ve told him […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
So I meet him. I can’t say it was love at first sight, but since the first time I saw him I was atracted. He has that “something”. I was in a few relationships in the past, but with him everything was so different. It was scary. We started knowing each other, talking everyday, telling each other how much we wanted to be near. Because being with him was like living a dream, like talking to the only person that sees your soul. My lips won’t kiss anybody the way they kissed him. I’m sure I’m made for him. But then, at the time I […]
Hi people,
While I’m not what can be considered a regular on this site, I visit from time to time and have been for several years now. I don’t always post/respond when I visit, but I do try to help when I can.
I’ve noticed something recently that I see as a good thing. The holidays are naturally one of the busiest times for this site and the difficulty of this time generally shows up in countless postings. It was common for one day of postings to take literally pages and pages.
This year, there are fewer posts than I’ve seen in a long, time and I take […]
“I’m a burden to everyone” is something I hear a lot, not even just from people who are suicidal or anything close to that.
I think about this a lot and I want to give you guys my perspective on it and why you shouldn’t think your friends and family would be better off if you killed yourself or went away.
Yes, you are a burden to everyone. I am. You are. Your friends are a burden to you. Everyone is a burden. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what friends are? Nobody is perfect, there will always be differences, there will always be […]
I remember last December 26. My grandfather’s birthday is the 27th, so we were driving down to Pittsburgh to see him. I was texting this girl I liked, when out of the blue, she told me that our middle school art teacher’s wife had just found him hanging in his art studio. I immediately got my mom to turn around the car and go home. A year later, I still can’t believe he’s gone. He was the most wonderful man I ever had the privilege to know. I remember how, on the first day of class each year, he would do magic tricks for us. […]
Why are we always remembered for our mistakes? It’s like you do one bad thing and it sticks with you forever. I made a huge mistake and I regret it. I’m so scared that everyone is going to find out what it is. It’s bad enough that it made the papers. I don’t want to go to school because I feel like everyone already knows and they are talking about it. Like why can’t they just ignore my stupid mistake and think of the good things I’ve attempted. But wait society doesn’t work that way.
at least thats how i feel, this is probably selfish, if not mean of me to even think, but hes wrong. everything is always worse to begin with but it can get better. if he isnt willing to get help hes gonna end up putting a weight 10x the one hes scared of on everyone’s shoulders. he won’t get better till he gets help. and until then hes a corpse waiting to happen. i need him to get help. i had to do it when i felt like i couldn’t. he’ll always feel like he can’t until he does. once he does he’ll see the need to. his family can’t feel the weight yet but i can. […]
My health is gone i can’t recover, it’s been 5 painful yrs and i am still here…. I am tired of being hospitalize and being told i have nothing wrong with me and i am treated like i am crazy…. I tried eating natural stuff to cure my self and that in itself wasn’t helpful at all… I feel like i am in prison in my own body……. My family tells me not to give up and friends as well.. I have lost friends… this debilitating illness is drowning me… I feel like there’s no escaping this illness and i feel helpless…. I used to […]