I’ve never wrote on one of these sites before, and up until recently I thought I was always capable of overcoming the self loathing I feel every day.
It changed recently, my wife left me and now I can no longer speak with her other than through occasional text messages.
I want to find hope in those messages, but I can’t I spent everyday crying and focusing on my way out of this. I’ve ordered everything I need to leave this world except my gas which will be coming soon.
She wanted me to get help and now I am it doesn’t seem to be […]
In my life people expects me to be perfect, but they don’t know what i’m going through. I’m always depressed and i self-harm. I was bullied and i feel like no one cares about me. I tried to stop cutting myself because my boyfriend, but i always have the urge to cut. i need help
The Break Up
I can see the text now “Ryan we need to talk” that’s how it always starts. This is the 3rd time she’s said this to me. Never has it come to anything but I can see this being it. As of right now my heart is pounding and I am sitting on my bed worrying, shivering, thinking, pleading. Why can’t my heart stop? just stop god damn it. I am 17 and I am truly and excuse my language “fucked” right now I have no friends and I mean that I am not just saying that for sympathy. I have had to repeat […]
This has been an ongoing battle and I am convinced I was put here for no reason at all. Everything and anything that could go wrong in my life has and is . Nobody ever loves me. Im always the one who gets thrown away. Why do I always want the things that dont want me? Im a good selfless person, but I get thrown away. Im never good enough. Whats so terrible with me? I’ve always envisioned my self jumping off of the Golden gate bridge. The beauty when your up there. The air you breath. The water below that will take you away […]
i am a29years male,nothing exites me any more, i dont have any friends, i always thought about suiside,attemted few times but failed, my parents dont know it, i have quit my job,want to kill my self any how, i dont sleep now ,dont know whether i have insominia or not, but it doesnt mater anymore,its not that i havent fight it,, i am fighting it from past 3 or 4 years, but it beyond control now, i just want to kill myself anyhow possible,plz dont give me crap shit, just tell me new and possible painfull ways of death.
Hi.
I hate my life. Nothing has any use… whatever I do, It’s never good enough. Life always seems to bite me in the ass. When I think I’m happy and my life finally goes well, it just stabs me 5 times in the back….
I just don’t know what to do with myself…. This is the second time I’ve been thinking of actually killing myself.
I’ve had these thoughts many times before but I’ve only once actually tried to plan something. A few years ago something happened that made me plan out my suicide. I already wrote letters and I was going to order all the things I needed […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
I’m just so tired of this all. I thought that this summer would be able to help me recover, but the thing is that I don’t ever really feel anything except for this sharp feeling in my chest. But lately, I keep on feeling really dirty whenever I lie to my friends about not being depressed, or cut, or do anything that I usually do. I get an urge to just wash myself clean of all this. The thing is, I developed a crush on a close friend of mine. But the thing is, I don’t think that this is a good kind of […]
a man died and went to hell. after wandering around for a while, he ran across the devil. the man said ” ya know, devil, ive been here for awhile, and its really boring. do you have anything to do down here?” the devil looked at the man and said “why, of course we do. do you like to drink?” the man said “yes, yes i do like to drink”. the devil replied ” on mondays, we drink as much as we want,from dawn to dark, whatever flavor you want,beer, wine, whiskey.” the devil continued,” do you like to do drugs?” the man said ” […]
I’ve heard somewhere that people with some form of disability usually end up having dysfunctional relationship. Not because their physical disability, though it’s a factor too, but because of their world view. they usually misconstrued “hanging out”as real romantic affection. this usually happens when there is a deep seeded inacceptance (if that’s a word) of themselves. And when someone lends a helping hand or acts sympathetic, they feel as though they have finally found a person that is better than them(only in the sense that the person is accepting), and so, worthy of their love.
what I’ve found about myself is that, because I am…highly […]
it’s funny how i’m just a natural listener and talker. so many people are just one or the other, but i need to listen to other people so they can get their feelings and problems out and also talk about my own problems and just about dumb shit that is important to me. i wish i could just pick a side, but i can’t. i listened as my roommate talked to me about her concerns about her academics and her friends back home which I thought was nice. i tried to be as responsive as possible so that it would seem more like a conversation, […]
Earlier this spring I made the huge mistake of telling my closest friends about my suicidal thoughts. Being the friends that they were, like any other people, they tried to talk me out of it. But my suicide plans got out to other people. They’d come and ask me about it and would always plaster a “concerned” look or “friendly” smile on their face, and start with the same frightening phrase, one that sends shivers down my spine
“I won’t judge you”
If approached about your suicide, when you hear that phrase leave their lips. Run my friend, run.
I’m comfortable with sadness. I wonder if my life will always be like this. I wear sadness like I wear a shirt, always with me. I want to be happy, but happy is unfamiliar. How is it that sadness has become my comfort, my home? If I reach out my hands, happiness is just in reach. But I cling to the darkness because it is familiar. I don’t think I deserve to be happy. Its like when I personally take 2 steps forward my home life knocks me back10 steps. So I’m back to the beginning again, back to feeling worthless and stupid and ugly.
I’ve felt empty since my teenage years. And now I’m 24. I never felt disapointed in me, even though I’ve never been happy with myself. More like always on other people. I never have spoken out loud about these things. Vice versa I pretend to be happiest person on this earth. Always cheering people to chase their dreams, whatnot. I never felt that there would be someone that would fully understand me enough. I get always the attention I don’t enjoy to get but don’t show it. Every single night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a such a heartache. I feel […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
I had the chance to go up the rooftop of a 12-story building some days ago. It was refreshing to get out of the house for a while and the air was so cool what with the christmas season (or a typhoon) approaching…
I stood up on a ledge and looked down and tried to take pictures. When I went up I could already feel my knees wobbling and my hand was shaking so much the first few pictures I got were blurred, I had to retake […]
I always asked my self this question (why do people change???) but I never found an answer for it. I found so many people changed in my life some are my friends and even my mom had changed these few 2 years maybe even I changed and I didn’t realized that. there are some positive changes but most people if they changed they change into the negative side . when I use to be a kid I use to come back from school and I find my mom baked for me a cake and I sit to drink my milk with the cake but now […]
Believing in Jesus ultimately helped me. Not too long ago I was very suicidal and broke down. I prayed to God and asked him to help me. The next morning the morning news aired a story about TMS to treat depression. Soon after that I attempted to partake in a medical study that offers TMS for depression. I was screened out of the study which disappointed me and I never got the treatment that I cannot afford. Before the treatment I had to get off 2 medications I was taking to treat my depression. It made my condition worse. When I was screened out I […]
I was always bullied because of my race. I never done anything about it and I never told anyone because I was afraid. Everyday in school I get racism, pushed and even physical damage. One day I told my parents but they never done anything about it. It’s like they don’t care or want me to settle it myself. I want to settle it myself but I’m too weak and I always think about how everyone thinks about me. Like how I look or how good am I at sports. I did try to settle it but I became emo at an early age when […]
All my life it as always been like “Yarah why won’t you be kind” “why are you not respectful” “Yarah why aren’t you doing shit in your life” And its annoying because, i’m always helping everybody, whenever someone need something i’m there, and respect is an important thing to me i will always respect everybody, anyone and yes i’m always doing things from right to left i’m always trying to make things better and fuck just no nobody sees they’re always here to judge but won’t even see the things that i do and now i’m just sooo done, why give when you don’t receive, […]