you say you love me and are gonna come get me as soon as you have your own place… but I’m scared it won’t happen and I miss you and you still don’t have a phone and missing you kills me,makes me wish I were just dead. what if you’re just saying that? all I ever am is hurt. now I have first love telling me he loves me and I’ll always love him but I just need you. I fucking need you
Tag:
always
I honestly cannot find the words anymore, nothing to comfort others. I’m just blank, more or less like something that’s been erased. As i sit there constanly with the thoughts of suicide, it moves down my spin.. hurting more and more, like ice onto an ocean. I technically cannot classify myself from an ocean. Because in my mind: I see an Ocean as peaceful, full of life, moving to keep the life going. It’s like we are here to be here? If that makes sense, but unlike others we feel it all, we feel it more and more & it dwells in our minds that […]
I really don’t know why I’m doing this. When I first told someone about my ..situation, she said that maybe even though everything felt unbearable at the moment, it could get better later.
It’s not like that for me. Everything is always unbearable. The way I feel, and sometimes don’t feel, scares me. I’m tired of not being able to go through my life without thinking I really should kill myself.
I’m tired of the part of me always making excuses, always thinking “what about your parents? How will they feel?” and I’m very tired of feeling like I’m faking all the time. I’m tired of my […]
I got my hand read by my friend and the lines in your palm on the right hand tells your future. My line of life is short, and I will die healthy. I’ve thought about this a lot on how I’m going to die. I have always thought of suicide. Maybe I slit my wrists and bleed to death, it seems like the best way to go. Or overdose on my pills. Now when I think about when I will pursue it, what comes up is when my mom told me I’m what keeps her going. She told me a few years back, crying, that […]
Why is we need to feel happy infront of?? We dont if we feel like there is no happiness then there isnt being in that black hole again is utter shit it makes you feel utter shit and i remember saying shit like “im never gonna be in that black hole again” or “depression dont take over you” but in reality it does and it will never go away and even though we can be happy there is always that feeling inside that tells us that we shouldnt be and that everythings my fault i hate it especially when friends arent there for you when […]
At the suggestion of a few of you on here, I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign.
Here is the link to my fundraiser.
http://www.gofundme.com/youngwidow
Please share this link with anyone that you think might be willing to help. Even $5 is greatly appreciated.
Those of you who have read my posts and interacted with me on here probably know this about me already. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help. I’m the stubborn person who always tries to fix my problems all by myself. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a horrible situation right now. Perhaps the Universe is trying to […]
Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.
I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.
I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.
So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]
how can you say those three small words to me again for the first time in four and a half years? I’m vulnerable. so fucking vulnerable. I’ve known you going on ten years, you were my first love, and we never fully got over it and always find our way back to each other in the most random of ways. I love Ryan so much. but now here you are again. ever since we were fifteen it’s been there. you have me so damn confused. make it stop, make it stop.
I despise what I am. I have broken laws just to feel pleasure. I have cut just to feel pain. I am numb, I wasn’t always like this but like many events it came with a revelation. I have no friends. They are not there for me even though I’m there for them. I can’t cry I’ve tried many times to make myself, though I just can’t. All people see is my smile. They don’t see me for what I truly am. Numb
Nightmares every single night. Can’t stop thinking about it when awake. I sedate myself with trash TV and music and school just to try and forget. But it always comes back… each time I am sadder, angrier, more hopeless than before.
This life must end. At some point, I just need to take the risk and shoot myself in the head. Trying for the find the most desolate stretch of land around me to increase the chances of dying…
For those of you who don’t know big dawg Shep, he’s one of SP’s regulars. Shep’s your everyday good sort who always has a kind word to say to those at their most vulnerable. Many here really appreciate the input and presence Shep has on the site. Birthdays are pretty freaky times for everyone (I had some low moments during mine last week), so I thought this could be a good place to show some love!
Warm wishes for your 21st mate! Thanks for being an all-round great guy. Love your sense of humour (when you grace us with it :P), and the insight you offer […]
So my ex boyfriend and me.have been talking. He always says he likes me and really wants to be with my but he pisses me off and I deny him. So yesterday I told him about my depression and he comforted me and even offered to bring a screwdriver to me because I couldnt get the screw out of my.pencil sharpner for the blade. He encouraged my cutting and now he got mad at me for asking him if he liked me so much why did he talk to other girls. He got pissed and now im.scared hell tell everyone at school about my depression […]
DISCLAIMER: What you’ll about to read is not a story its more of a rant, no, its a glimpse of what is on my mind and how my mind works and thinks. I wrote this disclaimer after i’ve written the things below.. I’m not sure if someone will understand it, or even understand what im trying to accomplish, but i do hope someone is, in someway, is the same as me..
My mind is my greatest enemy. My mind brings me pain. My mind is a super highway of thoughts i cant keep track of. My mind fears the unknown, its such a curse to always […]
Why am I always asked this? It always ends with trouble.
What they always mean to ask is, When are you moving out? or, When are you going to get a job? or, When are you going to stop being a moocher?
WTF am I supposed to say??? I don’t have any plans for my life, only for my death next year…
I fear he plans to give me an ultimatum. Get a job or move out. Start going to bed at 830pm & rise at 5am like the rest of the house, or get out, or pay more money.
He doesnt believe in depression, only that a woman’s […]
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201409/the-last-true-hermit
At least, someone I admire in a weird sense… that’s like, a qualification for a hero, right? This story’s kinda old so I dunno how many people haven’t read about this guy yet, but basically this dude just decided that he wanted to live a life completely devoid of human interaction, and indeed he did for almost 28 years. I think he was around 20 when he just walked into an isolated park in Vermont and lived off petty burglaries around the nearby cabins, stealing only things that he needed to survive on, and apparently a lot of books too, he seems pretty well-reas. […]
So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been […]
I know you know that there are no victors in a war, because I know that, and we are us. Let’s raise the white flag together, on 3. Aren’t you tired of fighting? Am I that stubborn? Are we cool?
Many soldiers died on this ground, from both sides. I’m done. There. Helmet’s off. You see my hair. Golden-brown. Ain’t it pretty?
Show me your face. I’ve always wondered how you look like behind that war paint.
Let’s put our guns down.
Let’s hug it out.
I feel you. Do you feel me?
Do you feel the pain? Does it feels familiar?
Does the knife running […]
I don’t know what made me find this site… well I do bit I don’t know what made me decide to stay here. I guess I just thought maybe writing out my thoughts would help. But then again not much can help anymore. So… I’m not sure what to tell anyone, as if anyone’s gonna care but here I go.
I haven’t always been suicidal, in fact I used to never stop smiling, to always be happy. But recently I’ve just had so much happen. One thing that’s got me so depressed is probably losing a lot of my family […]
It’s funny how people say they want to help but they don’t. It’s funny how death is a last resort and people always think you’re crazy. It’s crazy that I just drank 6 Liters of water in two hours last night and I’m still alive. Death, find me as soon as you can. If not, I’ll come looking for you again tonight.
I gave myself a year to see if I could turn things around. I mean I’ve tried new things and experienced more, but none of that really made a difference. I’m still the same hallow shell I was before.
It’s like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You can move them around all you want, but the ships still going under. I haven’t gone under yet, but I can feel the chill in the air from the icy waters I’m soon to plunge into.
Life will swallow me whole as I sink into the depths of darkness. And despite the year not being over yet, I’m […]